Cold
by EnigmaticArsenic
Summary: Maybe life isn't just for the living.
1. The Dead and the Dying

Kikyo and Sesshomaru, alternate timeline takes place sometime after the events of Mt. Hakurei. Slight deviation of details from the anime.

Published and completed: 10/30/05-12/16/05

* * *

_**The Dead and the Dying**_

...OOO..._**  
**_

Damn it! Sesshomaru cursed inwardly gripping his wounded shoulder with his one good hand. He had managed to slay his opponent, the giant snake demon Naga but not before it dealt him the toxic blow. Even now he could feel the poison coursing through his body, eating away at his strength and energy. A lesser demon would have already succumb, but even as it was he knew he could not last much longer unless the poison was drawn from his body. Normally, he would have readily spilled his own blood in order to cleanse himself, but he had been preoccupied with the fight and when it had been vital to do so, he found he could no longer even handle his own blade.

His vision had grown bleary, and the fine mist that settled on the ground did nothing to help him. He heard the rushing of the water as it cascaded into a waterfall more than he saw the thing itself. The rocks were slippery. He lost his footing, stumbled, and fell. The sting of ice cold water engulfed his body, and then...

Darkness...

...ooo...

She wandered the thick forest aimlessly, no particular destination in mind though she would know it when she got there. She was searching.

Searching for a place to rest.

A place to rest...

Forever...

No.

She pushed the thought from her mind. It was true that since Naraku's defeat, this had come to be her solitary goal, but for now she didn't want to have to think about it.

Anyway, she was in no great hurry. Every now and then, she found she could still lose herself in her task when she ran into an occasion to help someone- though these became more and more rare as a sense of peace settled on the land.

But she was weary- weary of her empty counterfeit life, weary of having to rely on the souls of dead maidens to continue it...

Even as she thought this, her Soul Collectors swarmed around her, every now and then brushing against her. Nowadays, they were her only company. She no longer even had the occasion to run into Inuyasha or his friends. No, she made sure to stay away from him. It was easier for both of them that way...

As she walked, she came upon a wide but shallow stream- only ankle deep in some parts- that was fed by a waterfall not too far off in the distance.

A small silent gasp escaped her lips when she saw him floating in that shallow water, face up, silver hair glinting in the early morning sunlight. He was more pallid than usual, and she could make out the ragged gash on his left shoulder.

Though their paths had crossed only briefly a few times before, she had become acquainted with his identity- the great Lord Sesshomaru, ruler of the Western Lands...

Now lying half-dead at her feet.

Even though it was her second nature to aid the injured, she hesitated. He was after all a demon, not to mention Inuyasha's older half-brother. Perhaps it would be best to simply pass on by, she thought. After all, a priestess purified demons, not nursed them.

But she stood rooted to the spot.

Finally, she fell to her knees in the water beside him. Gently pushing back the tattered sleeve, she uncovered the wound to examine it. Though it was deep, it was far from being fatal, and, unable to discern any other significant injuries, she pondered the reason for his condition. Certainly he of all people would be able to survive such a simple wound...

Poison, she thought, her quick mind arriving at the logical conclusion.

Her hands felt for his pulse and found it, faint, but still steady. If she did not do something soon, however, she knew that even a demon as powerful as himself would be unable to survive the ordeal. She was surprised he was even still alive.

Scanning her surroundings she spotted a small abandoned hut on the other side of the stream and directed her Soul Collectors to carry him there.

Even as they lifted his body, he did not stir.

Inside, the hut was dark with soot and covered with a thick film of dust and cobwebs, but she cleared away an area beside the fire pit for him.

With quick, experienced hands she tore away the sleeve of his dead arm and wrapped the angry wound with some poultice and the spare bandages she carried. Then using the tip of his own sword, she carefully opened up his veins, allowing the poison to drain with the blood. She watched him cautiously, and when she dared not go further with the blood letting, she sealed up the openings again.

Sitting back, she eyed her handiwork and frowned.

It was still early spring, the weather cool, and he was soaking wet.

Carefully she removed his armor and upper haori and set them aside. Then she took off her own- thankful for the wrappings around her upper torso and that her clay body only felt the most extreme of temperatures- and she placed it over him.

Now all she could do was watch and wait...

...ooo...

Slowly Sesshomaru regained consciousness, but even before he opened his eyes he could sense the difference in his surroundings from when he had first lost it. He was also aware of the scent of bones and graveyard soil...

He awakened to see her sitting at the open door to his feet, her body leaning against its frame. Her head was turned away from him to the outside, a soft breeze caressing her raven hair. Though he could not see her face, he recognized her right away- the undead priestess Kikyo, once Inuyasha's lover and the focus of Naraku's obsession.

Even before he spoke she realized he had awoken and glanced back to see him.

"Oh," she said softly, "so you've awakened... How do you feel?"

To be honest, his whole body was still aching from the poison and his strength had barely started to return to him, but he couldn't very well tell her that, so instead he asked in his unmoving voice;

"Where am I?"

"Here." she answered matter-of-factly, not quite sure herself as to their exact location. "I found you in the river and brought you to this hut. Do not exert yourself too much," she cautioned. "I don't believe you're fully recovered from the poison yet."

She was perceptive- he had to give her that much.

Still he managed to raise himself to a sitting position and was surprised to find her white haori covering him.

"What is the meaning of this?" Looking past her he saw his own garments billowing gently on the breeze, hung on a line to dry in the sun which had now risen past it's pinnacle in the sky.

"If you have no more need for it," she answered, "I would appreciate its return." So he handed it to her, and she slipped it back on, then went to retrieve his own.

"I mended it as well as I could," she explained as he took them from her.

He was quiet for a minute, studying the once torn sleeve and tracing the stitching she had done to reattach it. A strange sort of anger welled up within him- who was she that she should do so much to help him? But he kept it inside, maintaining his cold, indifferent facade.

Meeting her gaze with a hard stare, he asked in a low but demanding voice, "Why did you do all this?"

"Need I a reason?" she returned nonchalantly.

He fell back into silence, searching her face for a sign of her motives, but it was as blank as his often was, and she met his eyes with her own steady ones- a challenge which he took up.

"You know," he answered coldly, golden eyes turning to steel, "I watched him strike you, watched you plunge into his miasma. I watched you die and did nothing to stop it."

"Then be thankful," she replied flatly, her voice devoid of even the slightest hint of emotion, "that I am not like you."

It was not so much her answer, but the way in which she said it that surprised him. After all, he had always taken humans- especially female humans- to be ruled by their high strung emotions- like Inuyasha's wench, always yelling or crying...

But this one was different.

Then again, he found himself thinking, what had he expected from someone who, when faced with death, when her body had been stabbed right through by Naraku, when she was falling, had uttered no sound? Had uttered no panic-stricken scream, no plea for mercy or salvation, no attempt to hold on to life, no matter that hers was not real.

He did not know how her clay body had withstood Naraku's poisonous miasma, but here she was still alive and reeking of death. A complete paradox.

They sat in silence for several minutes until Kikyo stood to leave.

"I'm going to gather firewood," she declared and, giving him a sideways glance, added, "I suppose you'll want something to eat?"

"Hmpf," he replied. "Don't bother." So with that, she left him.

Outside the sun sank lower and lower until it disappeared below the trees of the forest, coloring the sky in washes of orange, pink, and crimson.

Inside the hut Sesshomaru had managed with great difficulty to dress himself again. After his discourse with Kikyo, he found that the little strength that had returned to him had dissipated, and rather than risking a journey and running into other demons who might take advantage of his weakened state, he decided to bide his time where he was until he was fully recovered.

Now he was lying down again, one arm under his head, his swords close by his side.

He was wondering where the woman was and why she had not yet returned.

_By now she could have gathered enough wood to keep a small village lit and warmed. _

Perhaps, he thought smugly, she had changed her mind after all and decided to leave him to fend for himself.

The thought caused his pride and anger to flare up again.

_How dare she think so? As if I, Sesshomaru, would ever have need for the help of a mere woman- and an undead human one at that. _

True he knew as well as she did that if she hadn't come upon him, he would have been deader than she was right now. Still it did nothing to abate his anger and annoyance.

Just then he caught sight of her coming out from a thicket of trees, a basket she had found in the hut full and tucked under one slim arm. Her head was slightly lowered as she walked, as if she was lost in thought.

He sat up to meet her, and when she finally did look up upon entering, their eyes met and he caught a glimmer of surprise in her soft brown ones as if she had not been expecting to see him.

But all she said was, "I hope you are well?" (which he did not bother to answer) before setting down the basket and kneeling across the fire pit from him. Now he could see that inside the basket were three large fish, cleaned, gutted, skewered lengthwise, and slathered in herbs and spices. Next to them were several small bundles of plants- medicinal herbs, he figured, and also a small pile of twigs and dried up sticks. These she took and organized into a conical pile in the pit and proceeded to build a fire.

She allowed herself to get lost in the simple task, enjoying the sure way her hands moved, without doubt or uncertainty. It was nice not to have to think so much.

When the fire was hot enough, she plunged the end of the skewers around it so that the fish might cook. While they did, she produced a small kettle and chipped saucer which had also been left behind in the hut by its previous inhabitants. These she washed in the stream and filled the kettle with water to brew some of the leaves and early berries she had gathered to make tea.

While she worked, she felt his eyes on her, never leaving for a single second, but she brushed it off. Let him watch if he chose.

When the tea had done brewing, she poured some into the saucer and slid it towards him.

"It will help detoxify your body," she explained. "And the food will help you to regain your strength faster."

Sitting back, she placed her hands primly on her lap, and now it was her turn to watch him.

Wordlessly he took up the saucer, staring at it for several minutes before finally bringing it to his lips for a sip. Surprisingly it was not too bad- strong and with a hint of bitterness, but he rather liked it that way. Trying a bite of the fish, he also found it to be quite good, especially considering its impromptu preparation.

He was about to take a second taste when he stopped suddenly, eyeing her suspiciously.

"You do not join me?" he asked.

"I thought that you would've known that I..." she paused trying to find the right words, "...cannot consume such matter."

Yes, he had known. But if she had gone through the trouble of preparing this meal solely for him, why had she expected him to have been gone when she returned?

A very strange woman indeed, he thought, resuming his meal.

As the evening wore on, the fire died down into embers, and they both found themselves staring into the soft glow, neither knowing what to say to the other for conversation or if that was even appropriate.

She spoke first, breaking the silence.

"You should rest."

"And you?" he countered. "Or do you not need sleep as well?"

"Need?" she replied. "Yes, but not for the same reasons."

He wondered momentarily about this response, but she did not elaborate and he did not care to ask.

Instead he laid back down in the same position as earlier and stared at the ceiling. He was tired, the effects of the poison still in affect, so he closed his eyes and slept...

He awoke later that night to find the fire extinguished, but the light of the full moon was more than enough to see by. It filtered in through the open window and through every hole and crack on the walls and ceiling, illuminating the room in blue light dappled with shadow. Through these cracks he could make out the serpentine forms of Kikyo's Soul Collectors as they encircled the hut in their vigil over her.

Looking over to where she had been sitting, he found that Kikyo had fallen asleep as well, curled up in an almost fetal position, hugging her arms to her chest and gripping her bow tightly in her white hands, her arrows being no more than an arm's length away.

Perhaps they weren't so different after all, he thought with a glance at the two swords beside him...

...OOO...


	2. Leftovers

_**Leftovers**_

...OOO...

Sesshomaru did not arise the next day until the sun was already high in the sky, but to his satisfaction, he was feeling all around better and could freely move again.

He flexed a clawed hand and fell into thought. Some of his stamina had returned, but he was still far from full strength.

One more day, he decided.

Looking around, he realized that the tiny hut had been swept and immaculately cleaned, a pile of wood already heaped in the fire pit ready to be lit. The woman was nowhere to be seen, but his keen ears picked up the sound of her voice, humming softly, almost inaudibly, to herself near the stream.

He stepped outside and found her kneeling by the riverbank, preoccupied with some task or other. As he approached, he realized that she was picking watercress- her slim but deft hands neatly snapping up the leaves from their tender stalks.

When she sensed his presence, she turned and a barely perceptible smile crept to her lips.

"I see you are healing well," she greeted, placing the last of the vegetable into her basket and pushing herself to her feet.

He allowed her an answer, "Yes."

"It is nearly noon," she observed, tilting her head to the sun. "Are you hungry?"

"No," he replied in his usual cold tone, then hesitated before adding, "But perhaps later I shall require sustenance."

Cocking her head to one side, she told him, "There are plenty of fish upstream." and walked off in the direction she had indicated.

Sesshomaru followed her until they arrived at the base of the waterfalls which slipped past a ring of large boulders to feed a small lake. These boulders helped to break up the current so that the waters were quite still and under its surface several aquatic creatures, including well sized fish, thrived.

Setting her basket down, Kikyo waded into the shallows and was surprised when Sesshomaru followed suit.

In answer to her questioning stare, he explained, "I am well capable of catching my own meal."

With that he raised his claw and waited patiently for an unwary fish to swim by.

Kikyo merely stood silently to watch, something like amusement shining in her usually melancholy eyes.

After several minutes, a large bass finally swam within his reach, and in one lightening fast move he plunged his claw into the water, grabbed the protesting fish, and pulled it out...

Only to have it just as quickly slip his grasp, fall back in, and swim away.

"Damn," he cursed under his breath. He was about to resume his position when a mirthful laugh caused him to swing around, ready to glare at the source of such impudence.

But almost as soon as it had escaped her lips, the laughter stopped.

Sesshomaru stared at her strangely, not aware she was capable of producing such a sound. She couldn't blame him.

The sound of her own laughter had shocked her back into silence, her hand raising involuntarily to her face where a visible expression of shock and awe had plastered itself.

Had she just... laughed? She asked herself, puzzled not only by her action, but by her reaction.

When was the last time she had allowed such a sound to pass through her lips, she wondered, but could not provide an answer.

Too long ago to remember...

For several minutes neither one could speak.

But when Kikyo did open her mouth, a familiar demonic aura interrupted whatever it was she had planned to say and set off alarm bells in her head. Shielding her eyes with one hand, she tipped her head up to scan the skies for the disturbing aura. Sesshomaru followed her gaze and saw them- three wasp-like demons flying overhead.

"Naraku's poisonous insects," he stated, though knowing that she knew full well what they were. Taking a quick glance at her face, he saw that all traces of shock, awe, and laughter, had disintegrated, replaced by a tense frown, her eyes pursuing the flight of the low level demons.

She reached into her quiver and in one easy sweep pulled out an arrow, nocked it to her bow, then let it fly. Her aim was straight and true; the arrow cut the air in a blaze of harsh light and reduced all three demons into dust.

But for the next several moments she stayed unmoving, her eyes fixated on the spot where her arrow had hit its mark.

"They must be left-overs from Naraku," he spoke, almost as if trying to reassure her, but the hard look stayed in her eyes and her eyebrows furrowed in evident concern.

She had not heard him, he thought but said nothing more. Quietly they returned to their undertaking.

The rest of the day passed by in the same silence.

They had caught the fish and she prepared them into a soup with the watercress, but this time she left him to dine alone.

She was sitting in the small veranda watching the golden sunset when he went to join her, coming to stand behind her sitting figure.

"Naraku is dead," he stated firmly without raising his voice. "You saw him die, as did I, as did Inuyasha and the others."

She did not answer, but instead rose to her feet to walk a little ways into the descending sun.

"And if we were mistaken?" she finally asked in a voice barely above a whisper and turned to face him.

He could not answer.

The brilliance of the setting sun behind her washed her in its dying golden light, making her glow, exposing the subtle sadness in her eyes in it's contrast.

His voice caught in his throat and a strange confusion flooded his usually sure mind. His instincts told him to leave, but something else was screaming at him to do the opposite...

But he shrugged off this absurd impulse and marched back inside.

Kikyo watched him turn his back and retreat into the darkness of the hut before letting her head drop to her chest, and for a while she just stood staring at the ground, her mind an utter blank.

Then she once again lifted her head to the sky, in the direction of the waterfall, her eyes diverted to the spot where they had spotted Naraku's poisonous insects.

Her heart was aching, but she didn't know why.

...ooo...

When she finally returned to their small habitation, the last rays of the sun had faded into the darkness of the ensuing night.

His eyes shifted over to watch her as she entered but quickly returned to the kettle of boiling water above the fire. She took her place opposite from him, and he removed the kettle from the heat, pouring some of the tea he had prepared in the saucer and nudging it in her direction.

For several seconds she stared blankly at the offering, then took it up, and raised it to her lips. She could barely perceive the heat on her tongue as she took a small sip and the taste was completely lost to her.

"Thank you," she said quietly, replacing the saucer on the floor and slid it back towards him.

He had watched her carefully and guessed her lack of feel and taste by the lack of change in her demeanor as she drank. Lifting the saucer to his own mouth, he downed the rest himself. It was still very hot and he had made it extra bitter.

They passed the rest of the evening without speaking, but the silence was not wholly uncomfortable.

After putting out the fire, he laid down to sleep, but she made no move to do the same and instead remained in the same posture that she had maintained since drinking the tea.

He said nothing, diverting his eyes to the ceiling.

Since his stay with her, he had felt her energy ebbing away though outwardly she had showed no signs of fatigue. Guessing at the reason for her draining stamina, he shifted to his side so that his back was to her and closed his eyes.

An hour passed but still she remained as she was.

Then another.

And another.

In the end he waited four hours before he finally heard the rustle of her clothes as she stirred from her repose, the soft shuffle of her feet, and the silent squeak of the door as it slid open then shut again.

He opened his eyes.

...ooo...

Outside the wind had picked up, bringing with it trailing cumulus clouds... and her scent. He followed it to a small mound where she stood staring at a veiled waning moon. All around her, her Soul Collectors swarmed, encircling her body as they released the glowing orbs they brought for her to absorb.

Her windblown hair brushed against her face as she turned to acknowledge him. She did not speak but her defiant, unwavering eyes meeting his removed all need for her to.

"How often must you do this?" he asked with only a hint of curiosity in his voice as the silver serpentine demons wound themselves around him, scrutinizing him carefully before deciding he was no threat and flying off to retrieve more souls for their mistress.

"No less than once every fortnight," she answered, also reverting back to her blank tone. "I do not wish to confine them any longer than that. That witch Urasuea might have denied me my rest, but I have no desire to do the same to these souls..."

They said nothing more to each other until the last of her Soul Collectors had unburdened his load and drifted off into the sky.

"It will rain tomorrow," she predicted as the dry wind ruffled through her hair and the folds of her haori and hakama, carrying with it the smell of damp earth.

"The roof will leak," he observed.

He had not meant for it to be humorous, but she let out a small, quiet, but sincere laugh as she followed him back to their temporary dwelling.

Her second one today, he noted but without any inclination of anger or annoyance.

...OOO...


	3. Intimations in the Rain

_**Intimations in the Rain**_

...OOO..._**  
**_

As Kikyo had predicted, the next day brought rain, rain, and more rain; and as Sesshomaru had guessed, the ceiling did leak- badly.

The day wore on with no sign of the rain abating, and he began to pace the length of the small hut, frustrated. With the continuing return of his strength and energy came the need to exert it, but there was little one could do in such a small space. So he paced. To and fro, to and fro.

"Where are you going?" he demanded, halting suddenly.

Kikyo was standing by the doorway, holding the shallow basket upside down over her head with one hand and the kettle in the other.

"I need to fetch some water," she answered. "I'll only be a moment."

"I can do perfectly fine without tea for one day," he retorted, eyes narrowing at the implication that he couldn't.

She shook her head, "Not for tea, for your shoulder. The bandage and poultice need to be replaced regularly otherwise it will not heal properly because of the poison."

"Then I'll fetch the water."

"It's alright," she replied casually. "I don't mind."

"But-" he cut himself off when he realized what he was doing. It was illogical because 1) he hated humans and couldn't care less what happened to them, and 2) her body was artificial and immune to such illnesses, but a part of him was concerned, knowing how frail humans could be and how vulnerable to the elements- like the time Rin caught a cold for playing in the rain.

She was already on her way out though, not hearing his short-lived protest, and proceeded down to the stream which had now swelled deeply with the rapid downpour. When the kettle was full, she hoisted it up, but stopped midway through. Raising her head, she scanned the opposite bank. Something wasn't right... but there was no sign of anything amiss. She turned her attention back to drawing water and that's when she noticed it- a large shadow had appeared, lurking just beneath the rushing surface. She gasped involuntarily, dropping her items to the ground, and stumbled several steps back as the monster exploded out of the stream in front of her. It was a demon in the shape of a giant lamprey, it's circular mouth ringed with razor sharp teeth which could easily crush her in one bite.

Instinctively she reached for her weapons and gave another gasp when her hands hit empty air.

_My bow and arrows!_

A sense of panic arose in her mind as she realized that she had left her weapons in the hut, never imagining she would need them for such a short journey to accomplish such a simple task.

The lamprey lunged for her, and she raised an arm in defense knowing it would be useless.

Is this to be my end, she thought too amazed with the irony to be afraid.

Since her resurrection she had survived a fall from a cliff, the Band of Seven, a priestess eating cave, numerous attempts on her life by Naraku and his henchmen, not to mention the continual denial of her soul, all to be devoured by a third rate worm demon? If she was a cynical person, she would have laughed.

But instead of bone crushing pain, she felt herself fall and collide with the wet ground. Sesshomaru had shoved her out of the way with his body as he ran in front of the demon, his Tokijin drawn. Even in his weakened state it took him only one strike to kill his opponent.

Sheathing his sword, he glanced at her over his shoulder.

"Are you alright?" he asked, not seeming particularly worried.

"You... saved me...," she replied unbelievably, eyes filled with confusion and uncertainty.

"Don't flatter yourself, woman," he scoffed, turning to leave. "I was merely returning the favor."

"Oh," she murmured, more to herself than to him. "Yes, of course... a favor..."

How many times was that now, she wondered, that she'd come so close to a second death?

Death...

The first time it came for her she had not wanted to go, but it had ignored her desires and claimed her into its eternal darkness.

Now when she had nothing to live for- not even a soul to call her own- death was suddenly elusive, taunting her in numerous encounters only to pull away at the last minute though she was ready to surrender...

By the time they reached the little shelter the leaky hut offered them, they were both completely soaked through.

Right away Sesshomaru set to work building up the fire, cursing under his breath at the dampness which made his task that much more difficult.

Meanwhile Kikyo set down the basket and water-filled kettle by the doorway, absentmindedly untying the ribbon in her hair and brushing it all over one shoulder to wring out the water.

He watched her out of the corners of his eyes. Obviously she was deep in thought, not even bothering to hide the troubled expression playing on her usually stoic face.

"Would you like to know," she asked suddenly, "what thought ran through my mind as I was preparing for death just then?" Normally she was not one for sharing her reflections- and certainly not to cold heartless demon lords- but she needed to voice aloud her thoughts in order to clear them from her mind, and he just happened to be there, so without waiting for a response she told him.

"Isn't that funny?" she asked, tilting her head around so she could see his expression, a small smile on her lips that was a poor attempt to hide the sadness so apparent in her eyes.

He did not answer but continued to glance at her, frowning slightly until she looked away.

"Someone told me once," she continued, "that those who seek life find death, while those that seek death will find life... I never understood what that meant..."

"And which do you seek?" his cold even voice cut through to her, startling her, and she had to swivel around in order that she might look at him- his unmoving indifferent expression that didn't care which answer was hers.

Somehow, it made her smile slowly.

"I... really don't know anymore."

A moment of silence passed between them before she shook her head, banishing the thoughts from her mind.

Retrieving the kettle of water, she turned back to him and said in the voice she usually used with those she was treating, "Let's have a look at that shoulder..."

Obligingly, he removed his armor and sank to the floor to help ease the task.

Kneeling beside him she tugged the sleeve of his haori down, exposing not only the injured shoulder but also half of a well toned, muscular chest. Being the practiced healer that she was, such a site was not new to her- not even this one in particular. Still, if her clay body had blood, it would have all rushed to her head by now. With another shake of her head, she dismissed the idea without giving it a second thought.

While she worked he averted his eyes directly forward, glad for once that his left arm was nothing more than a mere ornament so that he'd feel as little of her revolting touch as possible. Or so he told himself, knowing full well that the wound was far enough above where the arm had been severed for that idea not to apply.

And true enough he felt every soft brush of her hands against his skin as she gently unwrapped the old bandaged and washed the wound clean in order to apply fresh poultice and a new bandaged. Her hands worked without hesitation, gentle and soft but sure in their ways and firm in their grip. All in all, if he could be honest with himself, he found the ordeal to be not as repulsive as he thought it would be.

"It seems to be healing quite well," she remarked wounding it with a final layer of bandage.

"We demons," he replied, "heal quite quickly- unlike you humans who die from a single wound."

"Perhaps it is best that way," she answered quietly.

Her task was finished, but she hesitated to withdraw. She reached for his lower arm, touching it firmly but tenderly.

Instantly he spun to face her, a look of surprise and amazement that he had not caught in time plastered to his face. No one- not even Rin- had ever been so bold with him.

"May I ask," she inquired without the slightest trace of fear in her voice, "how this happened?"

His eyes narrowed into dangerous slits.

"That," he responded in a tone cold enough to freeze the summer sun, "is none of your business." And he tugged his haori back into place and rose to his full, regal height.

Even as he said it, he had expected some sort of retort from her- an insistence, an apology- but she stayed silent, her face devoid of emotion.

Awkward minutes of silence ensued, and slowly, he relented.

"Inuyasha," he answered simply, not bothering to elaborate, his voice still harder than usual.

"I see..." If the answer had surprised her or piqued her interest, she did not let it show.

"Now you must answer me this," he declared, facing her squarely. "Who killed you in your first life?"

He fixed her with a cold unfaltering stare, but she met it head on as she answered in a flat voice, "The same as he who took your arm- your brother Inuyasha."

It was the last answer he had ever expected.

"_It was shortly after I left the cave where I had nursed the bandit Onigumo..._

_He struck me from behind and ground my hand under his foot when I reached for my bow, before leaving me to bleed to death in desolation..._

_If he had been smart, he should have finished me off then and there, but he was impatient to get to the Shikon Jewel..._

_I dragged myself to my feet, refusing to die unless that traitor went with me..._

_He was running out of the village, the jewel in hand, when I found him._

_I called out his name..._

_And he turned as I let my arrow fly, pinning him to the sacred god tree..._

_Not long after, I died nursing my hatred for him who betrayed me..._

_Betrayed my trust._

_Betrayed my friendship._

_Betrayed my LOVE!_"

She paused to take a seething breath. During her retelling, she did nothing to hide the bitterness in her voice, and her eyes, Sesshomaru noted, no longer saw her present environment but had reverted inwards into her own painful memories, reliving them with merciless accuracy.

She continued:

"_When the demon Urasuea called me back from the dead, I awoke with no thought in my mind save my all consuming hatred. And in the end that is the only piece of my original soul left to me- the rest now within my reincarnation, that girl called Kagome._

_But even as that hatred raged within me, when I found out he was still alive all I desired was for him to come back with me to the afterlife- to be with me forever... _

_This knowledge only fueled my hatred, however, not only for him, but for myself for still loving him after his betrayal..."_

She let out a haggard breath, her voice quivering. For so long she had kept these feelings bottled up- barely daring to acknowledge them even to herself, fearful of the consequences. But now that she had begun, she found she could not stop...

For his part he remained silent, but his eyes never left her.

She didn't even know if he was listening anymore, but she didn't care. This was no longer for his benefit...

So she went on:

"_But as I wandered this land in my doll body, I soon came to learn the truth- the truth of my death and of his betrayal._

_It was Naraku who had perpetrated the illusion to make both of us believe we had been betrayed by the other. _

_Slowly this knowledge seeped in, and when I could no longer deny it, my hate not only shifted from Inuyasha to Naraku, but it intensified as well until I knew, perhaps alone in this world, the utmost a person can hate another..._

_Even now I curse him._

_How could he!_

_How could he not only come between us, but turn us against one another! Us who had loved each other with all of our being, who would have given up anything and everything for the other... and did!"_

Her voice was laden with emotion, all the hurt and hatred she had locked up in the darkest depths of her subconscious breaking loose.

But she did not cry, and he wondered if it was because she did not need to, or because she was incapable of doing so? Either way her eyes remained dry.

"_But even as my hate for Inuyasha evaporated, my love for him remained, though I've refused to admit that to myself until my brush with death by Naraku's hands that night in Mt. Hakurei..._

"And now it's too late," she lamented with a rueful smile on her lips. "His heart belongs to another and I... am nothing but a ghost."

...OOO...


	4. Naming Desire

_**Naming Desire**_

...OOO..._**  
**_

He stood unmoved by her words, an eternity of silence passing between them.

What had she expected from him? Comfort? Sympathy? He scoffed such useless concepts.

If such had been her goal, it backfired, only reaffirming what he had always thought humans to be- not only physically inferior, but weak-minded as well, so easily swayed by their trifle sentiments.

Still, the silence that reigned was heavy and oppressive, begging to be broken.

He opened his mouth to do so, but she spoke first.

"Did that satisfy you?"Her voice, so emotionally laden just minutes ago, had reverted back to its usual dry detached tone as she turned her back to him, fearing that her eyes might betray that which her voice so aptly hid.

But her response didn't surprise him nearly as his own did.

"You... still love Inuyasha?" The words came unbidden, but left his mouth slowly, as if he had meant to say them.

Apparently they surprised her as well, causing her head to spin around back to him, eyes widened. For a second she found herself unable to speak.

Quickly regaining her faculties, she searched his cool exterior trying to determine if he was mocking her, but the question was sincere.

Looking past him to the wet grey world outside, her expression softened as a melancholy distance settled in her eyes taking her away from where she stood.

Taking her away from him.

She answered honestly, "I will always care for Inuyasha- no matter how far away he may be from me in body or in spirit. Love may waver, but it never wanes. I know this from experience."

"So why are you not with him?" he challenged after a brief moment of thought. "Do not think me blind that I cannot see his affections for you."

Her answer came without hesitation in a tone of accepting surrender.

"Fate has willed it that we cannot be, and I no longer have the strength to fight my own destiny."

Finally she met his scrutinizing gaze, smiling ironically.

"You and I are not so different in one respect, Sesshomaru."

The sound of his name dropping from her lips startled something inside of him, the way the sudden appearance of light stuns darkness.

"It is our lot in life to walk it alone," she explained, "but you choose so freely whereas I can only submit."

He narrowed his eyes, refusing to be manipulated by her words, and replied, "Strength lies in the ability to conquer. The strong do not bow down to destiny, but make their own."

"It's funny," she stated humorlessly. "Naraku said the same thing."

This staggered him, and he asserted, "You dare to compare me to that vile half-breed?"

"I only make an observation," she smiled almost toyingly.

"Keep it to yourself," he grumbled, though without any real consternation.

"Hmm..." she sighed and smiled again.

He found himself relieved by that serene smile because he had begun to regret asking her the question of her death, never perceiving its outcome- that it could break the easy peace that had mutually formed between them since that first day he partook of her meal. In his mind he excused this feeling by reasoning it was only because he would yet have to spend another night with this woman (despite his earlier plan) and wanted as little discomfort as possible.

Deeper down however, he knew that while true, it was not the only reason for the alleviation of his concern. A part of him had truly been vexed by the momentary breach in their peace, though this concern greatly baffled him- as did the fact that when he had awoken that morning the discovery of the restoration of the majority of his strength had not pleased him as much as he thought it should have.

After a lapse of thoughtful placidity, he announced, "I have decided to resume my journey tomorrow."

"Yes," she agreed amicably, "I thought you might. You seem to be mostly recovered- I'm sure you'll have little difficulty in your travel." Although on the outside she smiled- as a nurse does when discharging a patient- inside, a small nameless pain stabbed at her heart.

She did not quite understand the reason for this rise of emotion, but she brushed it aside, taking it to be nothing more than an aversion to being left alone again- though even this logic made her wonder. After all she had spent the better part of her resurrection in solitude and had grown more than accustomed to it, finding solace in her desolation. So why now this sudden dread of returning to the only way of life she knew?

"May I ask where you plan to go?" she inquired.

"I will return to my castle," he answered. "Jaken and Rin are expecting me."

At the mention of the little girl's name, she smiled.

"And how is Rin? Is she well?"

"Yes... though she was ill for some time not too long ago."

"Oh? With what?"

"A cold."

Without realizing it they fell into easy conversation with Kikyo giving him advice on remedies to the varied illnesses children are prone to- colds and fevers, and infections.

As the afternoon wore on, the rain dwindled, eventually ceasing completely by early evening though dark skies continued to linger and a cold wind blew, strong and steady.

"Good-night, Sesshomaru," she remarked almost affectionately as she laid down in her usual spot for the night.

He cast her a long glance, somewhat overwhelmed, before returning, "Good-night... Kikyo." It was the first time he had called her aloud by name, and the sound of it on his tongue, he found, was not completely unpleasant.

At the same time, it brought another smile to her lips... and her heart.

Shortly after, they both fell into tranquil slumber.

A sense of contentment settled upon her and for a moment she was almost happy... but the wary voice in the back of her mind kept her back, distrusting the feeling she knew could not last...

How right it was...

...ooo...

Deep into the night Kikyo awoke.

Outside, the moon had set, the stars faded. Dawn was just beyond the horizon, but until then she had to contend with the all consuming darkness.

Was it a dream? She wondered.

No- she did not dream. Rather it was just a strong emphatic feeling, heavy and foreboding.

Across from her she could discern Sesshomaru's sleeping form, shifting slightly.

Suddenly, a violent fear gripped her heart almost to the point of panic- the kind of fear children have of being alone in the dark. It immobilized her as she felt herself suffocating, the night coming alive and engulfing her into its unfeeling void.

Closing her eyes, she fought to push it away...

_Kikyo..._

Her name rang inside her head clearly.

That voice! she thought, alarmed. Naraku!

In her mind she heard his dry laughter.

Miss me? it taunted.

Had she gone mad? she wondered. It was not possible! Naraku was...

_Dead? _The malevolent voice finished off her thought.

_Dear Kikyo, you might have defeated my physical manifestation, but you can never defeat me for I am the darkness which lurks in all men's souls. So long as life exists, I shall always remain._

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" she screamed aloud angrily, trying to drown out the voice from her mind.

Instantly Sesshomaru awoke, alert golden eyes piercing the shadows of the night to rest upon her quivering figure.

A violent shiver racked her body. She was cold...

So cold...

Her hands trembled as she attempted to rekindle the fire, fully understanding that what she felt could not be banished by the heat because it had not been brought on by the frigid weather; it had come from within.

He reached over to help her, and by accident their hands brushed against one another.

Suddenly realizing his presence for the first time, she pulled away, surprised.

He said nothing.

"I'm sorry," she stammered, withdrawing her hand. "I did not mean to awaken you..."

"What happened?" he asked, not able to keep the edge from his voice.

"Nothing," she murmured looking away. "Nothing... Just a dream..." Even as she said it she wondered if she was trying to convince him... or herself? It could not have been possible, and yet she knew what she had experienced was real.

_Naraku..._

How could he still be alive! her mind shrieked.

She had destroyed him with her own hands... How? How could he have survived? And more importantly, how had he penetrated her own consciousness?

Seeing her so troubled disconcerted Sesshomaru. The priestess feared little in this world, and her distraught was enough to set off the alarm bells inside his own mind. What was it that had frightened her so thoroughly?

And mixed in with this concern for brewing trouble was another stronger concern for the priestess herself, though he refused to endorse it as such at the moment.

Her hands still trembled slightly even as she fought to regain her composure, and though he knew that whatever the cause for it might have been, it was not the elements, he took the pelt he carried and wrapped it around her shuddering shoulders.

The action stirred her from her thoughts, making her look up in surprise at his kneeling figure before her.

"The wind is bitter tonight," he observed, pretending not to know she was immune to it.

And she played along.

"Thank you," she whispered, truly touched, as he returned to his side of the room to resume his sleep.

For a while she simply watched as his eyes closed once again, and found herself smiling softly as she laid back down, his fur around her, allowing herself to push all thoughts aside. Soon her eyes also shut themselves as her usual dreamless sleep overtook her.

He heard her breathing deepen, knew she was asleep. His eyes reopened to the ceiling, a thousand thoughts running chaotically through his mind...

...ooo...

The darkness surrounded him, assimilating him into its very core, shrouding him in its unfathomable depths. He was the darkness and the darkness was his consciousness, a consciousness which held only one thought, one desire-

Kikyo.

Her image infested his very being, a light confusing the darkness.

She had been a puzzle he could never comprehend, eluding his all knowing understanding, and infuriating him. He had hated and feared her, so he had sought to destroy her, destroy that light he could not conceive- first through tainting it with hatred, second by breaking her will, and finally with the destruction of her physical body... But she had overcome his attempts and the light remained pure and grew only brighter, and in the end it was she who had banished him from his physical existence, forcing him to seek solace in the furthermost regions of men's consciousness which housed the basest desires they endeavored to ignore, to push back and lock away, never daring to acknowledge its existence for fear of what might break loose. He was powerless against such a will which arose from the thorough fear of their own true nature. Even those he managed to sway refused to believe the evil they let loose and call it for what it was...

Had she truly been living, it would have been impossible to reach her, but because she had no soul but the part of hatred, her consciousness lay open to him and he would take full advantage to gain what he so wholly coveted...

She would be his.

...OOO...


	5. Parting

_**Parting**_

...OOO..._**  
**_

The next day Sesshomaru arose to find his mother's pelt lying neatly beside him. Kikyo had awoken first and was waiting for him out on the veranda.

"I picked some herbs for your poultice," she stated, handing him a small neatly wrapped bundle of assorted plants and a change of bandages. "They're not difficult to find near the edges of woodlands. Change it every other day until it is completely healed."

He accepted it ungrudgingly, inquiring, "And you? What do you plan to do?" not bothering to hide his lack of disinterest.

"I have not yet decided," she answered simply.

For a moment, they stood there awkwardly not knowing what else to say, though each hoping to delay the departure. Finally, Sesshomaru turned to go, but halted only several steps away.

"Kikyo," he called over his shoulder. "I am still indebted to you for my life."

"You owe me nothing," she said plainly. "I aided you of my own accord and already you have repaid me by saving my life just yesterday."

"That was for Rin," he explained. "My life has still yet to be redeemed, but rest assured that I shall repay you one day."

Knowing it was pointless to argue, she made no response only watching as he walked away before she too turned to leave in the opposite direction.

As his path entered the forest, Sesshomaru stopped, shooting one last glance behind him at Kikyo's retreating form, each step she took carrying her further and further away.

He wondered if their paths would ever cross again now that they no longer shared any tenuous ties, before wordlessly commencing his own journey.

...OOO...


	6. the Ties that Bind Us

_**The Ties that Bind Us**_

...OOO...

Sesshomaru looked out over his dominion from a high balcony, not seeing anything, his eyes lost in thought.

The setting sun lowering into the horizon bathed the land and sky in gold and crimson. Her face flashed before him, her melancholy eyes mirroring the dying sun.

Impulsively his hand went to his shoulder, now perfectly healed.

Kikyo- her name reverberated in his brain.

It had nearly been a month now, but still he found himself unable to completely forget her, despite his best endeavors. It was because he was still indebted to her, he had reasoned- and he never forgot a debt still to be paid, perhaps because rarely did he owe anyone such a favor. But the thought of her made him uneasy...

"Ehm, milord..." Jaken's timid voice broke his reverie. "You have a visitor."

Sesshomaru turned, half expecting it to be her, but it was another woman completely.

"Kagura," he greeted not unpleasantly. Though notions such as love and romance held no value with Sesshomaru, he had courted the possibility of taking the wind witch as a mate, if for no other reason than the simple continuation of his legacy.

"Sesshomaru," she returned in the same tone. "I was in the area and thought I'd stop by." It was always the same story.

Kagura's pride as a free spirit unbound to anything would not allow her to admit that she was very much interested in the cold but handsome demon lord, but nevertheless she always came by to see him every few months or so since receiving her freedom. Most of the time the visits were more or less for her pleasure, but this time however, she had come with a specific purpose.

For the past month now a strange apprehension had been nagging away at her until she could no longer just simply ignore it.

She voiced her concerns as soon as Jaken left.

"Tell me..." she began hesitantly, unsure of how to phrase her question, not knowing fully what it was she even wanted to know. "That night of Naraku's death... you saw him die, didn't you?"

The question threw him off- it was the last thing he had expected from her, but outwardly, he maintained his cool composure.

"With my own eyes," he answered. "Though it was that priestess Kikyo who delivered the death blow."

"Kikyo..." she ruminated on the name, murmuring to herself. "Yes...no...

she would never have allowed it... but she is only a mere human..." Then aloud she asked, "And his remains? What of his remains?"

"They were disintegrated by her spiritual energy. Inuyasha later on searched through the rubble, but nothing was found." Her questioning had piqued his interest, so he asked, "Why is it you are so curious about Naraku in death after hating him so bitterly in life?"

"It's nothing." She glanced away into the sinking sun, deliberating whether she should share her thoughts further and finally explaining, "It's just... a month ago a strange feeling descended on my body- like an angry cloud in an otherwise clear sky. The feeling itself was not fear, but that was what it inspired with it's familiarity. Since then one thought keeps repeating itself in my mind- the feeling was the same one I often felt anytime he was near... it's hard to explain." She fell into silence and for a while neither of them spoke.

'_What if we were mistaken?'_

Kikyo's voice floated into his mind and he remembered the night he had awoken to find her so shaken...

"Anyway, I'm sure it's nothing," Kagura concluded with forced conviction. "But I cannot stay long tonight- I was only passing through." With that she pulled out the white feather in her hair and threw it down. It grew into the size of a small boat, and hopping on, it spirited her away into the darkening sky in a powerful gust of wind.

Sesshomaru watched her go, his mind brooding over her revelations.

In the end all he could think was- It wasn't possible...was it?

...ooo...

Meanwhile deep in the forested mountains, Kikyo wandered, all thoughts of a certain demon lord abandoned and forgotten for the sake of another.

_Naraku._

Since that night she parted with Sesshomaru, she had grown more and more certain of his continuing existence. She had no shred of physical evidence save that one night he had infiltrated her mind, but the feeling inside was too strong and her premonitions had never misled her, though she might have sometimes faltered at following them. This time however, she held no such reservations as a renewed purpose entered her life.

Somewhere, some way Naraku lived and so long as he lived she refused to die. Not until she brought him down with her would she return to the underworld.

And so she continued in hopes of finding just a trace of his aura- anything that might lead her to him.

...ooo...

High up on the night sky Kagura flew, a set determination apparent on her hard but attractive countenance. Sesshomaru's words had helped to reassure her, but she needed to know for certain and only one person in the world held that truth.

Kanna.

She alighted on the narrow grey mountain precipice, waiting... Though she could not sense the little void demon, she knew Kanna would sense her and come, her all-seeing mirror in her white hands.

And she did.

"Kagura."

She heard the static voice whisper her name, the voice that always reminded Kagura of the dry winter wind blowing through snow, the voice of emptiness. Involuntarily, she shivered.

"I know why you come," Kanna continued lifelessly, her vacant eyes staring up at her.

"Then tell me," Kagura replied suddenly fearful of the answer. But she had to know. "Is Naraku still alive?"

"Yes." The answer was clear and simple, unmistakable. "Naraku still lives."

"Where? Where has he hidden himself?" She barely stopped herself from grabbing the little wraith and shaking the answer out from her.

"Everywhere and nowhere."

The answer perplexed her and she had to take a step back as if it had literally struck her.

"He wished me to tell you- he is beyond our grasp, but we are easily within his... Watch yourself, Kagura," Kanna cautioned- one of the few times she showed any will of her own, but Kagura couldn't help but think that it had also doubled as a warning from Naraku.

Damn him, she seethed hatefully, watching Kanna disappear into the heavy mountain mist.

Though he no longer had control over her heart, still she feared him knowing that he would not hesitate to use her should it serve his purpose or destroy her if she didn't.

But not if I can help it, she resolved, rising back into the sky.

She was heading back to Sesshomaru's castle when a silver serpentine figure crossed her path, diving into the forest below, to the white figure that awaited it.

Kikyo...

The presence of the priestess intrigued Kagura and she swooped down to meet with her.

"I thought you were dead," she greeted though without surprise at finding the woman still alive- she never seemed to stay dead.

Kikyo did not respond but her grip tightened around her bow at the wind witch's arrival.

Sensing her tension, Kagura said, "You have nothing to fear from me- I am no longer bound to Naraku and that, so I've been told, is thanks to you."

"I did nothing for you," Kikyo replied impassively. "If you have benefitted from any of my actions, it was only due to mere coincidence."

Always so damn smug, Kagura thought heatedly. So like that bastard Naraku.

_Naraku..._

At the thought of his name the strange disquiet welled up within her again- the feeling that he was near. But strangest of all, the feeling did not emanate from her own heart, but came from Kikyo instead.

"You- you already know, don't you?" she stammered, staggering back a little. "That Naraku is alive?"

"Yes," she answered without emotion.

...ooo...

"Has the message been delivered?"

Naraku's grim face manifested itself in Kanna's mirror, smiling malevolently.

"Yes," she whispered in answer.

"Good. Now we must wait just a little longer to bring Inuyasha into play..."

...ooo...

It's funny, Kikyo thought gazing up at the myriad of stars shining down on her, slightly obscured by the trees, how her life seemed to be entwined with that of the one person she most despised...

And yet he was the only thing that gave her life any meaning.

He was the one for whom she continued to walk this lonely path.

The one for whom she continued to devour dead souls.

The one for whom she continued clinging on to a life that was not a life.

In fact it was Naraku which bound them all together- her, Inuyasha, and Kagome. The past, the present, and the future.

And not just them, but the others as well- Kagura, the demon slayer Sango, the monk Miroku... even Sesshomaru.

The thought of his name pulled Kikyo from one musing and into another.

Sesshomaru.

He had not crossed her mind since their parting- what reason had he to? But now, for the briefest of moments, she could not help but wonder at how he was faring and whether he too was gazing at the same bright star she beheld- a star of hope and promise, so clear to her eyes, and yet too far from her grasp.

Just like her tomorrow- the dream of a yesterday long dead.

Sighing softly, she locked away again her thoughts not so much of regret, but of lost hope... It was pointless to dwell on the unattainable.

Rather her mind once again turned to Naraku. At least with him she did hold some power and control.

Shouldering her quiver of arrows, she continued on with her journey.

The presence of her soul collectors were all that comforted her as they wound themselves around her body, lifting her up into the air. She found herself wishing that they would take her higher and higher, never stopping until she reached the stars...

She would not sleep tonight just as she had not slept for the whole of that month- not because she feared that he might come again into her consciousness, but that this time she would be alone when she awoke...

...ooo...

Three nights later Sesshomaru had also taken to the skies, sailing away in the opposite direction. His long silver hair trailed behind him, reflecting the bright full moon.

It had been three days since Kagura returned with news of Naraku. She had been unable to reveal much else, but she did mention her encounter with Kikyo before departing for the lands across the sea in order to put as much distance between herself and her former master.

Straightaway he too had left, not to hide but to seek. He had gone to the forest at the foot of the mountains, but by the time he arrived Kikyo's scent had been dispersed in the wind and he was unable to determine which way she had gone.

But he had to find her.

She had known with no one to tell her that Naraku still lived, just as he knew that whatever scheme the half-breed was plotting, Kikyo would hold the key to it all. It was vital that he got to her first, and so, having no other alternative he set out to visit the one person who might know of her whereabouts.

...OOO...


	7. Losers

_**Losers**_

...OOO..._**  
**_

"Hey, Inuyasha!" Shippo called up into the tree. "Come on! We're going to be late if you don't hurry. Kagome's waiting for us."

"Alright, alright," Inuyasha grumbled with false irritation, stretching out his limbs in a long, drawn out yawn before hopping down to follow the little kitsune back to Kaede's hut.

Although there was no longer a need for her to- Kikyo having absorbed the Shikon Jewel into her own body just before her final battle with Naraku- Kagome still made frequent trips back to the feudal era and had been made into something of an honorary priestess in the village. Today she was overseeing a traditional spring harvest festival, and Inuyasha had agreed to go along to help.

They stopped in front of Kaede's small dwelling as the old woman came out to greet them.

"She is almost ready," she informed them and not a second later the young woman stepped outside, dressed in the traditional white haori and red hakama, her black hair tied loosely back.

For a second, Inuyasha saw Kikyo...

"Well, how do I look?" Kagome's cheerful voice broke the illusion.

"You look great," Shippo chirped enthusiastically.

And turning to him, she prodded, "Inuyasha?"

"Uh, yeah, great," he agreed, but his mind was somewhere else.

It had been over half a year now and more and more he found short, little moments in which he did not think of Kikyo, but for the most part she still lingered in his brain, like a ghost he could not see but knew was there just by her presence. She haunted him, and he could not deny her.

"Come on," Kagome prompted. "It's almost noon- the ceremony will start any minute."

"Idiot," he retorted, brushing aside his thoughts of another. "You're presiding over it- it can't start without you."

"Oh, true," she laughed.

They picked up the old beaten path through the village which led to the far fields where the ceremony was being held. Kagome was recounting a funny story about her little brother, making Kaede and Shippo laugh, when they came to a sharp bend in the road. Paying no attention, Kagome rounded the corner and ran straight into Inuyasha who had been walking in front of her and had suddenly halted.

"Uh, something wrong, Inuyasha?" she asked, rubbing her forehead. Kaede and Shippo fell silent behind her.

Peeking over his shoulder, Kagome was also surprised at the cause of their delay.

"Inuyasha," Sesshomaru greeted stonily, standing tall and regal in their path.

"Sesshomaru," Inuyasha responded edgily. He was always wary around his older brother. "What do you want?"

"Be nice, Inuyasha," Kagome admonished in a whisper. "I don't think he's here for trouble."

"The girl is right," Sesshomaru confirmed. "I only come seeking the priestess."

Instantly Inuyasha shot out an arm to shield Kagome as the other landed on the hilt of his Tetsusaiga.

"What do you want with Kagome?" he demanded defensively.

"Don't be a fool," Sesshomaru replied contemptuously. "I have no need for that girl. I come for Kikyo."

Inuyasha's mouth dropped open.

"W-what did you say?" He was not sure he had heard correctly.

"Do not toy with me, Inuyasha." Sesshomaru's voice turned ice cold as he lost his patience, and his hand found Tokijen. "I will only ask one more time- where is Kikyo." It was a demand, not a request.

"Y-you bastard!" Inuyasha stuttered, unable to control his voice due to his rising anger. "KIKYO IS DEAD!"

The news struck Sesshomaru like a lightening bolt and his surprise was apparent to everyone. _Kikyo...dead? _

"Don't pretend you didn't know!"Inuyasha snarled furiously. "You were there!"

...ooo...

'_Inuyasha...' Kagome could only whisper his name as she helplessly watched not only the castle, but the whole mountain upon which it stood crumble with the demise of its master. _

_Inside the heart of that mountain, Inuyasha was trapped, desperate for escape. _

'_Come on!' he urged tugging at Kikyo's arm to hasten her. "This way!" _

_They ran out of the room carved into the solid body of the mountain and into the narrow ledge which wound around the cylindrical hollow to meet the spiraling stone stairway that led up to the castle- and their only way out. _

_Instinctively he wrapped his arm around her, jumping back and shielding her with his own body as a huge boulder smashed into the ledge where they had been standing, causing it to collapse into the bottomless pit below them. A large gap now lay in between them and the path of their salvation, and for a minute they could do nothing but gape in disbelief at their extreme bad luck. The division was too wide and any attempt they made at crossing it would be greatly hindered by falling debris..._

_Finally he said quietly, not daring to look into her eyes, "Come on..." and motioned for her to hop on to his back. _

_Her hand flew unbidden to her face as the depth of his proposal dawned on her._

"_Inuyasha..." she whispered. "You'll never make it- not with me weighing you down..."_

"_At least I'll die with you!" he yelled angrily whirling around to face her- though his anger was for merciless fate. Then he lowered his voice and his eyes. "At least this time, we won't die alone..." _

_His arms flew around her as he pulled her to him, smothering her in his embrace. _

"_I'm sorry, Kikyo," he cried, burying his face into her soft hair, the tears stinging at his eyes. "I'm sorry I've let you down again- failed to protect you... I love you."_

_The rumbling of the collapsing mountain around them increased, almost drowning out the only thing she said, the only thing she could say, "Inuyasha..."_

_She allowed her hands to grip at his robe for a second, allowed her head to sink into his shoulder, allowed her eyes to close... All for a brief second that she wished might last for eternity..._

_Then summoning up the last of her spiritual strength, she shoved him away from her. _

_His eyes widened in horrified shock, his hands still reaching desperately for her as he was launched backwards into the air, every moment passing by in slow motion. _

_He landed on a protruding boulder and instinctively leaped back as it rolled away from him, and he found himself on the opposite side of the gap, the stairwell only a few feet away. _

"_KIKYO!" he screamed, ready to return for her._

_But she commanded harshly, "Stay, Inuyasha! Do not waste the opportunity I have given you." A small bittersweet smile appeared on her lips, her voice softening to match the quiet anguish in her eyes. _

"_Live, Inuyasha," she whispered to herself, but he heard it- despite the hungry groaning of the mountain, he heard it. "Live and be happy."_

_And with that she retreated back into the stone room, a curtain of falling earth separating them..._

_There was nothing else he could do. With a heart torn to pieces, he turned his back and left her..._

...ooo...

Once again unshed tears pricked at his eyes as he recounted the memory, staring at the ground and wishing that it would swallow him up the way it had swallowed her.

"Inuyasha..." Kagome found herself speechless. After the incident, Inuyasha had refused to talk and she had not impelled him, and though she had had her suspicions, this was the first time she had learned of what had truly conspired in the heart of that cursed mountain. And the truth was something she could never have imagined.

Kikyo had given up her life for Inuyasha. Kikyo, who had wanted nothing more than to be with him... had once again died alone.

Suddenly Kagome found herself crying.

It was never fair, she thought bitterly. Not for any of them- not for her, not for Kikyo, not for Inuyasha.

_Why? Why did someone always have to lose? _

...OOO...


	8. A Chance Reunion

_**A Chance Reunion**_

...OOO...

Sesshomaru was back in the air. An expression of deep thought settled in his eyes and he frowned slightly. He had left abruptly after Inuyasha's tale, his main question unanswered. But what he had learned perturbed him, unable to discern the reason behind it all.

Inuyasha believed Kikyo to be dead, but she wasn't- not that he did anything to inform them of this fact. She was alive and well, so why was it that after doing so much to preserve his life, she wasn't with Inuyasha? And even more mystifying, why had she concealed her continuing existence from the person she loved and who obviously loved her in return?

Humans, Sesshomaru thought in consternation. So many times they were so stupidly simple minded- guided only by their own predictable needs and desires- but every now and then he found himself completely baffled by them- by her.

_What is her motivation?_

Having no other leads to finding her, he had decided to return to his castle when a faint but familiar aura caught his attention. Scanning the forest below him, he found its source- a three eyed wolf barking excitedly and running around in circles.

_One of Royakan's pack. _

As soon as he landed, the wolf trotted up to him, its tongue lolling in and out in anticipation.

"Did Royakan send you?" Sesshomaru asked, addressing it as if it were capable of answering him in speech.

Rather the dog just barked in a positive response, shaking it's head in one direction, indicating for him to follow before darting off into the trees.

"This had better be worth my time," he mumbled to himself, but gave chase.

...ooo...

The sun had risen past its peak but still Kikyo journeyed, unaware that she had crossed the border into the Western Lands.

For a while now she had felt them watching her, sensed their aura enough to where she could pinpoint their exact location amongst the shadowy trees of the forest around her. She was wary of their presence but gave no indication of her awareness. They were low level demons and so far had done nothing to indicate malice towards her, and she had decided not to act unless they did so first.

...ooo..

Royakan paced nervously, every now and then halting to scratch his furry chin in thought.

He had spotted the woman early in the day just outside the border and had kept his sentries on her as she crossed it. There was something odd about her, something not quite right... Her scent was off for one thing- nothing like any human's he had come across before. But what disquieted him most was the power that surrounded her- so strong it was almost overwhelming.

No mortal could house such a power, he had reasoned... and then remembered the legendary Shikon Jewel. Surely that was it- this woman carried it... but what was she doing in the Western Lands?

He wasn't sure, but a sudden idea came into his mind- wouldn't it be wonderful to present his Lord Sesshomaru with such an item? Not that his lord needed it, but what could it hurt? Especially since it just happened to cross his path...

But the woman worried him...

He wasn't one to go around slaughtering mortals (rather he hated it) but if she resisted in handing the jewel over, she would have to be disposed of...

After some time mulling over the thought, he finally sent a dispatch to the castle to learn of his lord's wishes to absolve himself of the decision.

But an hour passed and no word had returned...

Then another.

And another.

In her travel the woman had barely entered the domains of his lord but just skimmed along its borders, her destination apparently elsewhere. Soon she would leave his jurisdiction altogether...

Royakan decided to act.

...ooo...

Kikyo was only mildly surprised when she found herself surrounded by a pack of three eyed wolves and short sturdy hellhounds with bulging eyes, large mouths, and tiny spears.

"What do you want?" she demanded, calmly leaning a little on her longbow.

The warriors held out their spears as Royakan stepped out from the shadows.

"You have the Shikon Jewel," he declared authoritatively. "Hand it over and you won't be hurt."

"That's an impossible promise," she answered, smiling amusingly at the contradiction. "The jewel is within me so I cannot give it to you freely without first ripping apart my own body."

Thinking she was mocking him, the usually sedate Royakan became angry.

"If you wish to die here, then you shall have it!" he yelled, signaling his pack to attack.

They closed in around her, but a calm but commanding voice stopped them in their tracks.

"Royakan." Sesshomaru stepped into view, the dispatch at his side, and Kikyo's mild surprise grew. She had never anticipated their paths would cross again, let alone so soon.

"What is going on here?" he asked without batting an eye at her.

"Milord," Royakan explained bowing in reverence. "This strange mortal entered your dominion bearing the Shikon Jewel. We thought you might have wanted to take possession..."

Sesshomaru scoffed, "I have no interest in such trinkets. Leave her be."

"Y- you wish to spare her, milord?" The words flew out of an astonished Royakan's mouth before he could stop them, and he quickly apologized with one glance from Sesshomaru, begging, "Forgive me, milord. I have no right to question you."

"Fool," Sesshomaru scorned. "I do not save this woman from you, I save you from her. Had she wanted to, she could have already purified you, though why she hasn't is none of my concern. Now leave us."

"You _know_ her, milord?" Another surprised remark from the flabbergasted hellhound. But another icy glance from his master and he and his whole pack departed, bowing humbly.

Even after Rin, Royakan could not believe his lord would ever hold counsel with a mere human...

What was this world coming to? He asked with a shake of his furry head.

...ooo...

Kikyo spoke first.

"I am sorry. I did not realize I had crossed into your lands."

"It matters not," he answered casually. "I was just returning from searching for you."

The announcement caused Kikyo's eyes to widen slightly but she said nothing.

"Naraku is alive," he continued.

Looking away she merely replied, "I know."

"How?" he demanded. "Kagura told me, but you have no one. How did you know?"

Kikyo stared up at the sun dappled leaves of the forest canopy.

"That night after the rainstorm- he came to me. In my head," she clarified, seeing the stunned look in his eyes. "He spoke to me... I do not dream, I know it was him."

For a minute neither of them spoke allowing the revelation to sink in with the silence.

Then she continued, "Even before that- even before we encountered his poisonous insects- a part of me questioned the seeming reality of his demise. A part of me I had tried to ignore but can no longer."

"What did he tell you?" he inquired suddenly.

"That he cannot be destroyed. That he resides in the darkness of our minds... but I do not believe him. There's something more to it," she concluded.

"You saw Kagura?"

"Yes, but she knows as little."

"What do you propose to do?" he finally asked after a short standstill.

Turning her head in the general direction of her travel she announced, "I have learned that there is a valley about three nights' journey from here, and in that valley blooms a rare flower which has the power to induce a state in which the body becomes completely numb while the mind grows sharp and alert- transcendent. If Naraku does hide in my consciousness, I aim to find him out."

"I shall come with you," he decided after a brief deliberation. "Whatever that bastard is up to, I wish to find out for myself."

Shrugging complacently, she replied, "Do as you wish." before turning her back to him to continue her journey.

This woman, he thought irritably falling into step beside her, shows no fear or respect... fool. Though to be honest, she was the only one who could lead, being the only one who knew their destination.

They left the borderlands heading south and east.

_We will come close to Inuyasha's village. _

The thought popped into his head impulsively, and he remembered his earlier confrontation with his half-brother.

'_Kikyo is dead!' _Inuyasha had shouted.

_Foolish half-breed. _

Still, Sesshomaru could not help giving Kikyo a questioning sideways glance wondering, Will she go to see Inuyasha? Will she let him know she is still alive?

"Is something wrong?" Kikyo asked when she caught him staring.

"No," he answered, diverting his eyes to the sky. This woman frustrated him- like a puzzle he could not understand... Not that he cared to.

They walked on without speaking further, never resting until they came to a fork in the road. One path lead straight through Inuyasha's village and to their destination. The other curved up north.

For a second she hesitated, casting a wary glance at her unlikely companion, before taking the northern road.

Let him go where he will, she thought to herself. I owe him no explanation.

Though a part of him had wanted to bait her, had wanted to provoke her into explaining herself, he held back and followed without a word.

...ooo...

By sundown they were coming to a small village and were about to turn into the nearby forest when a small boy running recklessly knocked Kikyo down.

"I am so sorry, Lady Priestess!" he apologized breathlessly, climbing to his feet and helping her to hers.

She laughed forgivingly.

"It's alright," she answered kindly, placing a hand on the boy's thin shoulders. "You are not hurt are you?"

"N-no, ma'am," he shook his head, amazed at not being scolded.

"Why were you running so fast?" Kikyo questioned, a small concerned frown tugging at her lips. "It's dangerous not to watch where you are going."

"I'm sorry, Lady Priestess," he apologized once more, explaining, "But I must go to the next village to find a midwife- my mother is in bed right now and is ready to deliver, but she is having great difficulty with the birth."

Complete seriousness overtook her eyes as she took the boy's hand and declared, "Come. Take me to her quickly."

But the boy hesitated, casting a quick glance at Sesshomaru. Following his stare, she was taken back a little to see him still standing there so aloofly. For a second she had forgotten all about him.

"Would you like to come?" she asked addressing him. "Or would you rather I..." her voice trailed off, unable to find another alternative.

"I'll come," he conceded. "But make it quick."

She did not hear him however, as she took off after the boy.

He followed but in no apparent hurry.

_Damn woman. I hope she does not plan on aiding every needy mortal we come across. _

...OOO..._  
_


	9. Bleed

**_Bleed_**

...OOO...

"Just one more," Kikyo urged encouragingly. The woman strained and grunted, pushing with all her might, and finally...

"It's a boy," Kikyo announced proudly, cleaning the baby and delivering him to the awaiting arms of his mother.

His father stumbled into the room expectantly.

"A boy," his wife smiled in answer to his questioning eyes.

Giving a loud 'whoop' of joy, he went and knelt lovingly beside her to take a peek at his newborn son.

Kikyo rose to leave.

"Priestess." The mother held her back. "Thank you."

She only gave her a small smile in return. On her way out, she was almost once again bowled over by the now elder brother who rushed in to meet the new arrival.

From the doorway she watched them- so happy, so full of excitement, of hope for the future... so content.

Turning away she caught Sesshomaru staring at her laconically, but she ignored him and went to the nearby fountain to wash off the blood.

"Are births always so... disgusting?" he asked. This had been his first time witnessing one, and his curiosity got the better of him.

She laughed in answer, "Yes. Always. Human or demon."

"Excuse me, priestess," a young village girl- about sixteen- interrupted them, bowing respectfully first to Kikyo and then to Sesshomaru though she was unsure how to address him. "We have prepared rooms for you at the house of the village elder. They are not much, but we hope you will accept our gratitude and hospitality and stay the night."

"Thank you," Kikyo spoke, "but-"

"We will stay," Sesshomaru cut her off firmly. He didn't know why, but he didn't question it too much.

Bowing once again, the girl led them to the far side of the village to a modest but large house with a garden and pond in the back. There they were greeted by a wizened elderly man who invited them to dinner, but Kikyo declined and this time Sesshomaru did not interject. He did not desire to dine with mortals.

They were left alone to themselves in their own corner of rooms, and she was standing out on the balcony watching the dancing fireflies below her when he came out to join her.

For a while they simply stood in comfortable silence.

Then, staring off into the darkness, he remarked, "It sounded painful."

"Hm?" she asked, tilting her head a little to see him.

"Birthing," he replied, taking up their interrupted conversation. "It sounded painful."

"I suppose it is," she smiled softly, her gaze returning to the fireflies. "But most things worth having can usually only be obtained after hard labor."

At this he stared at her and said, "I pity women then."

"I envy them," she answered softly, her eyes meeting his.

"Do you miss life?" he asked sincerely, though not sure where the question came from.

"Hm," she sighed. "I wouldn't know- I've never been alive."

At this his eyebrow arched questioningly and she explained, "Before, my body was free to feel, but my duty as guardian of the Shikon Jewel forbade my emotions. Now I am free to love or hate, but my body is nothing more than a cold shell... Inuyasha awakened my desire to live once- that was the closest I've ever felt to truly being alive... but it was only a dream- a dream which cost me my existence when we tried to realize it..." she paused thoughtfully. "Maybe I was never meant for life, or death... just this... in-between."

"You pity yourself too much," he replied.

"Perhaps you're right. I try not to dwell on what I know cannot be, but I cannot help but feel that if only my body were truly my own, then I would be free... If only I could feel the cool of the wind in my hair, the warmth of the sun on my face..." her voice trailed as she stared deeply into his eyes, seeing but not seeing, seduced into a trance by her own words, "or the tenderness of a kiss upon my lips..."

Her face inched closer to his.

At first he was startled by her actions, but when he realized what she was doing he found himself unable- no, _unwilling_ to move. And so she came closer, her irrelevant breath tickling his skin as she sighed softly...

A sigh which ruptured the spell.

Reason flooded back into her eyes as she quickly pulled away.

"Excuse me," she stammered. "I must go." And without waiting for a reply, she fled into her room, her hand flying to her lips.

_What did I do?_ she thought, horrified by what had almost occurred. _Did I just almost kiss him?_

Outside in the veranda, the same question flashed through a stupefied Sesshomaru's mind.

Frowning visibly, he reflected on what had almost taken place.

_Did I jut allow her to almost..._ he could not finish the thought. It was too much for him.

"He he he." The sound caused Sesshomaru to spin around.

"I'm sorry," the old man chuckled in apology, stepping out from the corner. "I came to bid you both a good night, but I see I have intruded..."

"Don't be a fool," Sesshomaru huffed, looking away. "I have no such interests in humans."

"Ah," the elder remarked. "A demon prince- so I suspected... I will not ask as to why you travel in company with the priestess- I'm sure you have reason enough. However I wished to warn you not to wander into the forest at night. A demon has been lurking there as of late."

"We are quite capable," he answered haughtily.

"I am sure you are," he agreed amiably. "Nevertheless, I thought it only best to inform-"

But he was cut off by the village girl- the same one who had escorted them earlier- frantically crying, "Elder, elder!"

"What is it, Izumi?" he asked, calling down to her.

"It's Hikaru, elder," she replied, panting as she took mouthfuls of air. "His parents sent him out for some water for the baby, but he has not yet returned and there is no sign of him anywhere in the village."

"He is the third one this week," the old man mumbled to himself.

"What is going on?"

They turned to see Kikyo who, upon hearing the ruckus, had returned to investigate.

After informing her, they implored, "Please, priestess. Is there nothing you can do?"

Retrieving her bow and arrows, she resolved, "Take me to the place."

They led her to the edge of the forest, but halted.

"This is as far as we dare to go. Please save the boy."

Inside the forest Kikyo searched for the demon with Sesshomaru trailing unconcernedly behind her.

"Must you do this?" he asked, slightly aggravated by the distraction.

"Do you think I can just stand by and do nothing?" she retorted, exasperated that she could not get a fix on the demon. Whatever it was, it did not exude much aura...

"Pathetic humans," he scoffed. "Always in need of others to fix their problems. How weak."

"The gods," she replied, maintaining her calm once again, "did not see it fit to bless us with the same capabilities as you. Yes, we are weak, but we can only rely upon one another for the help and support to make us strong."

"And you?" he chided mockingly. "Who do you turn to for such vital needs?"

She could not answer, but she didn't have to as a terrified scream rent the forest air.

They ran quickly to the sound to find the boy frozen in fright before a towering demon with the body of a mantis and the head of a woman, one long sickle-like arm raised and ready to strike.

Before Sesshomaru could stop her, Kikyo threw herself on to the boy, shielding him with her own body even as the claw came crashing down, tearing away at her flesh.

Sesshomaru unsheathed Tokijen as the mantis woman lunged at Kikyo, knowing he would be too late.

But Kikyo, hugging the boy to her with one arm, shot out the other as if to halt the impending demon.

It never had a chance. A beam of light flashed from her palm, engulfing the monster and dissipating it to dust.

Kikyo sank to her knees in exhaustion, letting go of the boy to grip at her wounded side and abdomen.

Recovering from his shock, the boy cried, "Priestess, priestess! Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," she assured, smiling weakly through the seething pain that racked her body as her soul energy escaped through the opening. "Are you hurt?"

"No, priestess, I-" The boy froze, his eyes widening as he stared at her injury. "Priestess," he whispered. "You do not bleed..."

...OOO...


	10. Ghosts

_**Ghosts**_

...OOO...

Kikyo could only stare helplessly, the tearing of her heart inside more painful than the physical wound, as she watched the boy back away from her in horror.

Sesshomaru intervened.

"Boy," he commanded harshly. "Back to the village- get help for the priestess."

The boy stared at him in bewilderment, but did as he was told and fled.

"How badly are you hurt?" he asked Kikyo, kneeling down beside her.

"I'll live," she answered not removing her arm. "But please," she pleaded, "take me away from here. I must summon my Soul Collectors."

She tried to stand but stumbled, and he caught her around the knees with his good arm.

"Hold on to me," he commanded, and she wordlessly obeyed, wrapping her free arm around his broad shoulders and burying her face into his neck, shutting her eyes in an attempt to shut out the pain.

Feeling her secure against him, he took off deeper into the forest, gliding along the ground gracefully in order to cause her as little discomfort as possible, and didn't stop until they came to a small clearing surrounded by massive trees and a bubbling brook. Kneeling on the soft mossy ground, he set her down as gently as he could in between his knees, supporting her head with his hand.

"Hold still," he warned and without hesitation opened up her haori (taking care to only expose the wound and nothing else) to better ascertain the damage.

Frowning, he studied the damage. The laceration was deep and wide, running from the lower half of her abdomen and up her left side. Had her body not been made of clay, she should have already died from it with, at the very least, the blood loss that should have entailed. Instead of blood however, a blackish purple light- her life energy- seeped out.

"It doesn't look good," he told her honestly.

"I'll live," she reaffirmed breathlessly.

Already her soul collectors had began to gather, feeding her the life sustaining souls, and with each one she absorbed the wound closed little by little. But she was still in great pain and he did not move from his position.

"Is there anything I can do?" he offered, truly vexed by her condition.

"No," was all she could answer.

For the first time in his life Sesshomaru found himself helpless, unable to do anything but watch as she suffered in silence and solitude, no one to aid her but her serpentine guardians.

A sudden thought occurred to him- _Is this how Inuyasha felt as he left her to die in that mountain?_

...ooo...

As the night set in, Inuyasha had taken leave of Kagome, Shippo, and Kaede, and was now lying on his back on the roof of the hut, staring off into the star studded sky, but seeing only Kikyo.

'_Live and be happy,' _she had said, but how could he be truly happy without her? With the knowledge that once again, it was his fault she had perished... How could he be happy with such a memory haunting him? Did she just expect him to forget?

"I'll never forget you, Kikyo," he murmured to the darkness. "No matter what..." not realizing that Kagome had followed him outside and was sitting just below where he was, hearing his every word.

She held back the tears that threatened to break forth, held back the feelings that had been growing overwhelmingly inside of her since Sesshomaru's visit.

How could she blame Inuyasha for feeling the way he did?

_Sometimes I wonder which one of us is truly the ghost- me or Kikyo..._

As each sat contemplating his and her own thoughts, an iridescent silver glow in the distance caught Inuyasha's attention. Straining his eyes, he stared after it, and a small gasp of wonder escaped his lips. He wasn't mistaken- it was a Soul Collector.

"Kikyo...?"

Without another moment of hesitation he leaped from his vantage point, taking off in the direction of the demon.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome called after him, when she saw him bolt, but he did not hear her.

Only one thought occupied his mind- Kikyo was alive!

...ooo...

The wound had grown less severe, but still Sesshomaru stayed where he was, not even realizing it. Kikyo had slipped into a shallow unconsciousness, every now and then moaning quietly from the still present pain.

On impulse, he reached over and brushed a strand of hair from her face... a face that even in pain, always remained beautiful...

He pulled his hand away, the sudden thought riling him.

Luckily, he didn't have much time to reflect on it.

...ooo...

Inuyasha had pursued the glowing demon deeper and deeper into the nearby forest, skimming easily past the darkened trees.

He had not given a thought as to what he would find when he reached his destination, but what met his eyes was definitely the last thing he had ever expected- Kikyo, lying deathly still on the ground, her haori wide open, and his older brother on top of her!

"GET OFF HER, YOU BASTARD!" he screamed, drawing the Tetsusaiga and launching himself at Sesshomaru.

Instinctively, Sesshomaru leapt back and unsheathed Tokijen.

"Inuyasha," he greeted coldly, though somewhat surprised by his arrival.

"What do you think you're doing to Kikyo?" Inuyasha snarled in return, planting himself between her and him.

Sesshomaru scowled at the insinuation but answered only with, "What I choose to do is none of your business."

"Oh yeah?"he challenged. "Well it is if it involves Kikyo!" And they lunged at one another, swords clashing and repelling in midair.

"Inu...yasha?" Kikyo murmured softly, trying to see him through the blackness that had engulfed her mind.

"Hold on, Kikyo," Inuyasha answered. "I'll get you out of here after I finish off this perverted bastard." And their swords collided again.

"Inuyasha..." she repeated, her voice raising despite the agony that it inflicted, trying to draw his attention.

"Just stay back, Kikyo," he insisted over his shoulder.

Her anger flared at his ignorance. Ignoring her suffering she pushed herself to her feet and took up her bow and an arrow.

"INUYASHA!" she yelled, taking aim.

"Huh?" he asked quizzically turning to face her as she let the arrow fly. His eyes bulged in shock, and for a split second his mind flashed back to fifty years ago...

This time, however, the arrow merely pinned one wide sleeve to a tree.

"What the hell?" he yelled, completely dumbfounded.

Kikyo's bow clattered to the ground as her strength failed her, and she reached out a hand to the nearby tree for support before crumpling to her knees.

Vaulting from where he stood, Sesshomaru caught her and helped her back to a lying position.

"What is going on here?" Inuyasha reiterated, shaking off the protruding arrow. Then seeing her wounds, he dropped down beside her crying, "Kikyo! What the hell happened to you?" and then glaring at his brother, "You bastard! What'd you do to her?"

He was about to start another fight when Kikyo's harsh voice stayed him, "Inuyasha!" Catching his attention, she softened her tone as she explained, "Sesshomaru did nothing to me- he was only helping me."

"WHAT?" he asked incredulously. "What the hell are you doing with him in the first place?"

Sighing wearily she answered, "It's a long story..."

"Kikyo," he persisted stubbornly. "We need to talk."

"Not now, Inuyasha." Every word she spoke required more and more of the energy she did not have.

"Then at least let me take you back to the village so you can rest and recover," he insisted.

With horror apparent in her features she yelled, "No!" and pushed him away.

Intervening, Sesshomaru spoke firmly though not harshly, "Inuyasha, the priestess is tired and needs you to go so that she may rest."

"Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?" he shot back accusingly.

"Don't be a fool," Sesshomaru replied with disdain. "I have no interest with human wenches- I leave that to you."

He was about to protest again when Kagome's voice stopped him short.

"Inuyasha!" she cried, stumbling into the clearing, having evidently followed him. Her mouth flew open when she beheld Kikyo lying on the ground. "Kikyo!" she exclaimed, then with more confusion, "...is alive? And why is Sesshomaru here?"

The demon lord ignored her, addressing Inuyasha, "Kikyo will speak with you tomorrow when she has recovered."

Casting a doubtful glance at the priestess, Inuyasha asked, "Is that right?"

"Yes," Kikyo agreed.

"Can someone please tell me what is going on here?" Kagome pleaded, exasperated.

But all Inuyasha said was, "Let's go Kagome." He marched past his brother and in a low calm voice warned, "If anything- I mean anything- happens to Kikyo, I will hold you responsible."

Sesshomaru did not answer, but met his glare steadily, until Inuyasha looked away and stalked off into the forest.

Kagome shot Kikyo an uncertain glance but wordlessly followed him back to their village- neither speaking a word of what had just occurred.

"Thank you," Kikyo whispered to Sesshomaru in sincere gratitude.

"Don't speak," he told her. "Just rest."

At the admonishment Kikyo's eyes slowly closed, and the last thing she saw before sleep overtook her was the sight of the proud demon lord standing guard over her.

...OOO...


	11. Reflections

_**Reflections**_

...OOO...

_I JUST DON'T GET IT!_

Tetsusaiga slashed the air and another tree crashed down to join its fallen comrades as Inuyasha took out his frustration on the hapless forest around him.

"Inuyasha..." Kagome stepped into the circle of stumps .

One look at her blood shot eyes told him how she had spent most of her night.

"Hey," he greeted softly, sheathing his sword.

Kagome did not know why exactly she had cried but she had done her best to name the confusion of emotions storming inside of her. In the end, they left her weak.

Kikyo- the same for whose death she had shed tears- was alive.

_It was too much to hope she would stay dead and buried this time._

The sudden though had made her balk and immediately she pushed it away, angry with herself for thinking it... and, though she could not admit it, for it being true.

Now that Kikyo was back and waiting for him, would Inuyasha leave Kagome to be with her?

Kagome greatly feared the answer she suspected.

Even in the six months-no, the more than fifty years they had been apart, it was obvious that Inuyasha's love for Kikyo had never diminished. If anything, it had only grown...

_How can I compete with her sacrifice? With his loyalty?_

But instead of asking the one question she desperately wanted the answer to, she gave in to her fear and merely asked, "Will you be going to see Kikyo soon?"

He saw the obvious pain in her eyes, knew how much she was hurting, how much more he would hurt her- but at the same time, he just couldn't help himself, so he simply answered, "Yeah."

All night long a thousand questions had been swirling around in his head, and he needed answers.

Kikyo was alive, but how had she survived?

Why didn't he find her after days of searching through the rubble?

What was she doing here now?

And why with Sesshomaru of all people?

But first and foremost, the question that plagued him was- Why didn't she let him know sooner that she was alive?

...ooo...

The same question ran through Sesshomaru's mind as he watched Kikyo stir with the first early rays of sunshine.

Like Kagome and Inuyasha, he too had spent the night in sleeplessness, but unlike them he had been more successful in keeping his thoughts in check- or at least in keeping them from being so apparent in his expression.

He had kept watch over the priestess from a sitting position on a thick above ground root of the tree under which she slept, his back against its rough trunk, one foot up in easy repose.

Her wound had completely healed in the night, the laceration disappearing without a trace, her skin restored to its original perfection.

After the last of her Soul Collectors had vanished, he had once again used the heavy fur he carried to cover her. He had known it was a pointless gesture, but he didn't try to make sense of it.

That was a power she seemed to have over him- making him question his own actions. And the only way he knew to combat it was to not bother with reasons.

"So you're awake," he stated when her eyes fluttered open, taking note first of him and then the fur wrapped around her shoulders.

Instinctively her hand flew to her side but felt nothing, just as she knew she wouldn't.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked keeping his eyes fixed on some distant object only he could see.

"Yes," she answered with the same nonchalance he gave her, rising to her feet. "Perhaps it was the pain which kept him away, but Naraku did not come."

And he momentarily wondered why she had thought he was referring to him at all.

Instead he asked, "And what do you plan to do about Inuyasha?"

"There is nothing I can do," she replied plainly. And he understood without need for further elaboration, though he did not agree with it- with her so called "fate."

Still, he had to know.

"Why did you wish to conceal yourself from him?"

She did not know how he had found out, but she did not altogether care.

"What else could I do?" she asked.

"You could have gone back to him," he replied matter-of-factly.

"And offer him what? This body which cannot feel? No... It was the only way he could move on, to forget about me... It was best he did not know."

"Know what?" Inuyasha's unusually calm voice interrupted them as he entered the clearing, Kagome following close behind.

She had decided to come- no matter what happened, she needed to be there too.

Sesshomaru rose upon their arrival.

_I wonder what will happen now, _he thought detachedly, a question he had never before had to ask himself.

...ooo...

"They have gathered, Master," Kanna's empty voice proclaimed to an empty darkened cave.

"Good," Naraku replied, his voice eschewing from her mirror.

Now that Kikyo and Inuyasha were once again reunited, soon his plans would be realized.

_Fools,_ he thought contemptuously. How easy they were to deceive, to manipulate, so readily falling into his carefully placed traps...

True, he had not counted on Sesshomaru's continuing presence, but the demon lord was of little consequence. Only the girl stood in his way and she would be easily disposed of with Inuyasha blinded by his beloved Kikyo.

...ooo...

The four of them stood awkwardly, no one knowing where to begin.

It was Inuyasha who broke the silence.

"Do you guys think you could give us a minute?" he asked quietly, his eyes never leaving Kikyo as she turned to see Sesshomaru comply.

Kagome hesitated, wanting to stay and disappear all at once, knowing nothing could be accomplished with her presence and yet wanting it to be over with as fast as possible as well. In the end she willed herself to move and followed Sesshomaru wordlessly. They came to stop at a tree shaded cliff which fell away into more forest, and in the distance she could make out a cluster of tiny houses and farmland at the base of a looming grey mountain.

"What do you think will happen now?" she asked his back, the question which he himself did not voice.

But he kept his eyes directed at the carpet of green beneath him and coldly responded, "It doesn't concern me."

"Oh, right," she laughed humorlessly. "I forgot- what do you care..."

...ooo...

"Kikyo..." Inuyasha whispered her name and advanced, his arms outstretched.

She resisted only slightly as he drew her to him into a tight embrace...

"Why didn't you tell me you were still alive?" he finally asked.

"Would it have mattered?" she answered.

_Why? Why does my heart feel so empty? Even in his arms..._

"You still love Kagome, do you not?"

He could not answer. Of course he loved Kagome- he could not deny that- but Kikyo... Kikyo was the one he loved first, the one he loved most... wasn't she? But Kagome was important, too... How was he supposed to choose?

But just as he was losing himself in his eternal indecision, a flicker of familiar demonic aura interrupted his thoughts.

Instantly Kikyo pulled away. She had sensed it as well...

...ooo...

Sesshomaru was the first to notice it.

"What is that?" Kagome asked, coming to stand beside him, one hand shading her eyes as she strained to make out the strange dark cloud which had formed over the distant mountain and was now rapidly moving closer and closer.

The familiar aura...

Realization struck her dumb and she could barely utter out, "Naraku's poisonous insects!"

She turned to him only to see him bolt in the direction where they had left Inuyasha and Kikyo. Hurriedly, she stumbled after him.

...ooo...

Sesshomaru leapt gracefully through the forest, his foot barely touching the ground before he was airborne again, one solitary name speeding him along.

_Kikyo!_

...ooo...

She and Inuyasha met him as he landed softly in the clearing.

"Sesshomaru!" Inuyasha exclaimed. "What is it?" Although he knew what the obvious answer must be, he just could not bring himself to believe it. "And Where's Kagome?"

As if in answer, they heard her terrified shriek.

"INUYASHA!"

"Kagome!" Inuyasha shouted, racing off in the direction of the scream.

Sesshomaru was stunned- They were after the girl?

He went after Inuyasha and Kikyo followed until they reached the edge of the cliffs. From there they could see the almost solid cloud of insects with an unconscious Kagome in their midst.

Without hesitation, Inuyasha sprang after them.

"Fool!" Sesshomaru muttered, leaping after him and grabbing him around the waist. "Did you think you could save her by falling to your death?"

"Sesshomaru?" Inuyasha was at a loss for what was happening until he caught sight of Kikyo looking down on them as they rapidly descended.

As soon as Sesshomaru landed them safely onto the lower forest floor, Inuyasha demanded, "You idiot! What about Kikyo!"

And he answered sternly, "You can't have it both ways, Inuyasha- either stay with Kikyo or save the girl. Which will it be?"

A look of pure frustration crossed Inuyasha's face, but finally he took off after Kagome. Sesshomaru matched him leap for leap.

...ooo...

Meanwhile, high above the air, Kagura rushed in her feather toward the same mountain, the memory of her dream still fresh in her mind. At least, she hoped it was only a dream...

Just yesterday she had been enjoying a glorious sunset from atop an ornate temple when his voice flooded into her thoughts.

_Go to Kanna,_ Naraku had ordered.

She had tried to resist, but suddenly she felt her chest tighten, her breath cut off.

_Go to Kanna,_ he had repeated.

And this time, she obeyed.

...ooo...

"Demons!" a man cried out in alarm as Sesshomaru and Inuyasha approached the tiny village at the mountain's base. Those who could, scattered and sought shelter where they might, while a woman and two children prostrated themselves.

"Please," the woman begged, frantically drawing the children nearer, "Spare us!"

"What the hell happened here?" Inuyasha asked in astonishment as they stopped to pause. The smell of death lingered heavily in the air and all around he could make out several fresh graves...

"Haven't we suffered enough?" An old man came hobbling defiantly out of his hut to meet them. "First you take my daughter, and then her only child. Will you now take me, as well? Then take me!"

Bounding up to him, Inuyasha prodded, "Old man, you say something took your daughter? What was it?"

Surprised by his interrogation, the old man could only answer honestly, "A demon in the shape of a child accompanied by several larger ones. She demanded them to be sacrificed..."

"Where?" he demanded urgently.

"From the mountain-" and without waiting for him to finish, the two brothers raced for the summit.

_What was that damn Naraku up to?_ Sesshomaru wondered. _First Kikyo, then the girl, and now these humans? What could he possibly be planning?_

Slashing their way through several minor demons, they reached the flattened summit to find a deathly still Kagome lying beside Kanna, her mirror in her white hands.

"YOU!" Inuyasha yelled angrily. "What'd you do to Kagome?" He lunged for her with his claws, but was deflected back by her mirror.

Sidestepping him, Sesshomaru drew Tokijen and addressed her, "Where is Naraku?"

Kanna did not answer, but there was no need for her to as Naraku's face manifested itself on her mirror.

"You wished to see me?" he smiled malevolently.

Sesshomaru was about to launch himself at the image when Kikyo's voice stopped him.

"Stand aside, Sesshomaru."

She was behind them on the lip of the summit, her bow and arrow drawn. Without waiting for him to yield, she let it fly.

Its tip glowed brighter and brighter as it sped toward Naraku until finally the whole arrow was engulfed by her bright energy. A ring of light rippled from the point of impact- directly in the middle of the mirror, and shattered it, sending Kanna flying backwards, her small ghostlike body skidding to a stop several feet from where she had stood.

Calmly Kikyo nocked another arrow to her bow and made her way to where she lay. She aimed for her heart as Kanna met her gaze with dark unwavering eyes that held no fear, no sadness, devoid of any emotion.

Kikyo froze, the string on her bow taut to its fullest.

_Why?_

Why couldn't she bring herself to release it?

"What are you waiting for, Kikyo?" Inuyasha asked impatiently.

But before Kikyo could do anything, she was cut off by an angry cry.

"Dance of Blades!"

Inuyasha lunged for Kagome's body as Sesshomaru jumped to shield Kikyo with his Tokijen, staving off the cutting winds which blew from the wind witch's fan above them.

"Kagura," Sesshomaru announced meeting her red eyes.

"I'm sorry, Sesshomaru," she hurriedly apologized as she swept Kanna away.

_So Naraku has reclaimed her as well..._

From behind him, Kikyo stirred, and he watched her curiously as she knelt before the broken mirror. She brought her hands together just above it's surface, pulling out the orb of light from it's darkened depths into her cupped palms.

_My soul, _she thought, bringing it closer to her chest. _At long last..._

Inuyasha's eyes widened as realization dawned on him.

"Kikyo," he whispered apprehensively, the unconscious Kagome in his arms. "What are you gonna do?"

...OOO...


	12. the Almighty Bucket

**WARNING: **THIS IS A _CRACK _CHAPTER. A JOKE. (Don't take it seriously.)

* * *

**_The Almightyy Bucket_**

...OOO...**_  
_**

Kikyo took up the soul...but she knew she couldn't do anything with it but give it back to Kagome, so she walked on over. Unfortunately some careless demon or other (coughKannacough) had left a bucket lying around. Kikyo tripped on the bucket and fell forward...

"KIKYO!" Inuyasha screamed and lunged for her. He forgot he had been holding on to Kagome and acciddently threw her over the side of the mountain. She became the first victim of the bucket.

Inuyasha tackled Kikyo but he underestimated himself and dove a little too hard and also fell out the side of the mountain taking Kikyo with him.

"Oh, crap! Kikyo, I'm so sorry!" he apologized as they plummeted to certain doom.

"Nah," she replied. "I was kinda getting sick of all the drama that comes with being alive anyway." And so she gladly went back to the underworld, but this time Inuyasha was with her so what did it matter? They were the second and third victim of the bucket.

The fallout of Kikyo's second death made Naraku insane with sadness and madness that he'd now never have her, so he killed himself. How? I don't know, but he managed- he's resourceful like that.

So all that was left on the mountain was Sesshomaru... He was going to go leap down and save Kikyo and Inuyasha (Kagome already hit the ground- so she was beyond hope) when he tripped on the bucket and went fumbling down-

Sesshomaru (glaring at the sky): I AM NOT GOING TO DIE BY TRIPPING ON A DAMN BUCKET!

_Oh yes you are! I AM THE AUTHOR! I AM GOD! MWAHA HA HA HA (much more evil cackling) NOW TRIP ON THE DAMN BUCKET BEFORE I FRY YOU WITH A LIGHTENING BOLT THEN BOMBARD YOU WITH FIRE AND BRIMSTONE!_

Sesshomaru: DON'T MAKE ME COME UP THERE!

_Pft... You wouldn't dare!_

Sesshomaru draws his Tokijen and makes angry gestures to the sky.

_I SAID TRIP ON THE DAMN BUCKET!_

And suddenly the bucket was hurled at one Sesshomaru's head.

(_Ha, and he thought he was so tough..._)

Meanwhile, the bucket bounced off of his head, soared through the sky and ricocheted off of Kagura and Kanna. Unable to control her power with the sudden distraction, Kagura lost control and slammed into a convenient cliff side. And thus were they killed.

But the bucket was not satisfied. It fell to the earth, faster and faster as it descended and finally KABOOM! The force of its fall caused it to shoot straight through the earth's core, unbalancing everything and bringing about general chaos and the apocalypse of the world.

The end.


	13. Into the Night

_**Into the Night**_

...OOO..._**  
**_

Kagome slept peacefully inside the small lodge bathed in the soft tangerine hues of the setting sun. To her feet, Inuyasha sat staring out of the window, his eyebrows furrowed in deep concentration.

A strange mixture of emotions overwhelmed him as he reflected on the earlier events of that day. In truth he wasn't at all sure what had happened. He didn't understand it, and he didn't know how he was supposed to feel now- happy? Sad? Angry? Angry at whom? Her? Himself? Fate? They all flooded his mind in quiet confusion, but in the end it boiled down to one name-

"Kikyo..." he muttered softly to the empty air.

He was stupid to have thought she would have done anything else but what she did, but he couldn't deny that for a moment he had truly been afraid for Kagome's safety. Except, of course, Kikyo had returned the soul...

_She had risen to her feet, the glowing orb cradled in her hands... then with a wave of her wrist she had released it, allowing one of her collector demons to catch it and deliver it to the unconscious Kagome in his arms. And without a word, without a second glance, she had simply walked past them to descend the mountain for the village bellow..._

But she didn't talk to him afterwards either. Even when he approached her to tell her that he would be taking Kagome back to her era to recover, she had merely nodded in acquiescence- her eyes empty and unreadable.

He'd hurt her again, he knew he did. She knew he had doubted her, and he had hurt her.

"Dammit," he cursed himself angrily. Why did he always screw things up so badly between them?

_By now, she and Sesshomaru must be long gone already..._

'_Sesshomaru,' he had beckoned his brother away. 'You're going with Kikyo, right?'_

_And of course he had replied in his usual high and mighty tone, 'What I do, Inuyasha, I do for myself- it has nothing to do with what you feel for the woman.'_

'_Yeah, whatever,' he had retorted, but inside he had been grateful that he had decided not to rub it in. 'Just keep her safe, ok?' he had entreated, hating himself for having to leave her with him. 'I promise to be back as soon as I can.'_

It was a promise he swore he would not fail to keep.

...ooo...

As Inuyasha had guessed, by sundown Kikyo and Sesshomaru had left the small village on a path heading east as they tried to recover their original road- lost due to the day's distraction. Behind them, the dying sun threw long faded shadows at their feet, obscuring their countenance in a play of shade and highlight.

Slowing his pace slightly, he fell behind her, studying her. Her gait never faltered, never slowed nor quickened, her eyes staring straight out in front of her, unwavering. She was impassive and blank again, her expression betraying no hint of how she felt or what she thought. Even with his highly honed perception he could detect no difference in her whatsoever- no pulsations of sadness or anger, no change in her demeanor, as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened at all. But he knew this couldn't be true...

He had felt it- the palpable longing as she held the soul close to her body. Longing laced with bittersweet sorrow.

'_Even in my hands,' she had smiled ruefully, 'it's still out of reach.'_

Now however, he couldn't even pick up a trace of it, and it disturbed him.

She had been that way all day, even while she busied herself to care for the needs of the remaining villagers- binding their wounds and treating their illnesses, even constructing a simple boundary of barrier scrolls to ward off any leftover demons from the mountain. Sometimes she smiled politely at their words of thanks and praise, but her eyes remained void.

_Such a senseless sacrifice_, he scorned thinking about her refusal to take back what should have been rightfully hers in the first place. It was not as if he had not foreseen her action- he had never doubted for a second what she would do- but that didn't mean he understood it. If she had taken it, then all that she desired would have been hers- a life with Inuyasha. Instead she had willingly given it up to the girl who rivaled her in his affections.

_Her and her unrelenting altruism. How can anyone such as her fall prey to such a worthless philosophy?_

Human or not, he could not deny her power. So why was it she always allowed herself to be the victim?

_Damn woman..._

She bothered him, he thought with a barely discernable frown. Something about her had always bothered him- ever since the first time their paths crossed- something he could not quite recognize... Her mere presence had always unsettled him.

Up ahead of him, Kikyo paused as if divining his thoughts.

Throwing a casual glance at him over her shoulder she stated, "He would never have forgiven me if I had taken it."

He was dumbfounded at her sagacity, but he continued on, striding past her and replied, "That's because Inuyasha is as big a fool as you are."

Maybe it was because she had not expected such a reaction, or maybe it was because she did, but either way, she could not help but laugh, a small laugh hidden behind the wide sleeve of her haori, but he heard, and she had to wave it off with a shake of her head when he gave her a questioning look.

He wondered why she had found it humorous, but since he hadn't really meant it as a serious insult, he supposed it was alright. In any case he was glad for the diversion that seemed to break her from her self-inflicted isolation (which had in turn irritated him) and they traveled the rest of the early evening in easy placidity.

It dissolved however, as dusk fell.

For a while now the road they had followed had become little by little more overgrown- the well-thread path disappearing under tufts of grass and weeds. Eventually it led them to a dark foreboding forest that was more grey than it was green.

"Sesshomaru..." she glanced at him uneasily. Something inside her was telling her to turn around...

"If this is the way to the valley," he answered decisively, taking a comprehensive sweep of their surroundings, "then we shall go." The strange apprehensive chill emanating from the forest was not lost to him, but he refused to be turned away by such trivialities. Whatever it was, it would stand down.

And so they continued.

Night settled in, but neither tired and both wished to leave their somber environment as soon as possible, so they did not slow their progress. Above them the moon was waning, but it was in a cloudless sky and its light was enough to cast shadows, though in such a place it was increasingly difficult to tell what was shadow and what was not...

One fell on them- a large bird-like demon, tattered wings outspread diving right for Kikyo. Instantly Sesshomaru grabbed her by the waist, away from its talons, and taking temporary cover under a nearby tree.

"CAW!" it called and in answer a large cloud of its cohorts rose from the surrounding forest.

She aimed her arrow at the beast's heart consuming it with her spiritual energy, but the others came.

"They're after the jewel," she told him tensely as more came after them. Drawing Tokijen, he fought off as many as he could as she shot arrow after arrow, barely bothering to aim- there were so many of them she was bound to hit. But it was futile. They were fast and furious and too many in number.

"Come." Abandoning their vain fight, he took her by the waist again and sprinted off into the woods. The birds flew after them, but they were large and the trees were thick and growing thicker as Sesshomaru fled deeper and deeper, until they finally abated in their pursuit. All except one. It pitched its whole body head long through the intertwining branches of the canopy, to fall right in front of them, grasping for the priestess with it's long bony beak.

Because he held Kikyo in his one usable arm, he could do nothing but evade the attacker, so he bounded backwards as she drew out another arrow.

They never saw it hit its mark.

Unable to see his landing, Sesshomaru stumbled on a protruding root and they fell toppling down a deep ravine camouflaged earlier by the deep shadows.

Kikyo tumbled, but landed on her back, her eyes meeting the pitch black canopy, and for a second she could do nothing but wonder at it.

It's so dark, she thought oddly, the leaves are so compact, not even a sliver of moonlight penetrates it.

Out loud she asked, "Are you ok?" Not speaking in any particular direction.

"Fine," he muttered somewhere to her left, but she could not see him. Blindly she searched with her hands, trying to find her way to him.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" he bellowed severely when he felt her hands grasping at him.

His golden eyes penetrated the almost solid darkness, and he saw her recoil in surprise.

"S-sorry," she stammered. "I can't see anything."

Sighing, he pulled out the Tenseiga and it glowed, illuminating the ravine around them with its cold blue light. Close by, a small spring bubbled, but mostly it was just hard rock spotted here and there by moss and lichen.

"Thank you," she expressed, sitting back, and for a second they did nothing but stare at one another, not sure what to say or do, the light of the sword enveloping them in its spherical glow- cutting them off from the rest of the darkness, as if they were in their own world...

Then she laughed.

"I'm sorry," she said softly. "It's just..." and without bothering to explain she reached over, anticipating and intercepting his instinctive dodge to pluck out a small leaf that had entangled itself in his long silver hair.

He caught her hand on the way down, her sleeve falling away to reveal the streaks of dirt so gallingly apparent on her pallid skin.

"Are you hurt?" he asked almost inaudibly.

"No," she whispered just as softly, pulling back and looking away. Wandering over to the small well of water, she dipped her hands in, not feeling its icy sting, and began washing away her stained arms and the smudges on her face. For once she was thankful for having no heart which with its racing beat would have betrayed the sudden rise in her emotions.

What was it, she wondered, that made her so? Why was he able to do this to her...

It made her uneasy, and yet...

Silently, he stirred too and walked to one wall of the ravine to sit down on a large moss covered rock, plunging Tenseiga on the ground next to him. For a minute his eyes strayed first to the blade, then to her, then back to the blade.

He wondered...

But no, he knew it wasn't possible even if he had wanted to use Tenseiga. Her soul was already within another, and her body, too, wasn't real...

How ironic, he thought humorlessly. Here he was- the great and powerful Lord Sesshomaru of the Western Lands who held life and death over so many- thrown by circumstance with the one person he could not reach with either one. The one person who was beyond him.

She came back to stand beside him, one hand on the rocky surface of the ravine.

"Do you think we should try to escape now?" she asked, staring up into the blank sky.

"No. I believe those demons are nocturnal. There's no point in leaving this place unless you wish to spend the whole night fighting them. Either way, we will not be any closer to our destination by morning."

Sighing, she sank down unto the floor. "I suppose you're right." Then she added, "And thank you, once again. I believe you've saved my life a second time now..."

"Why did you let me?" he suddenly asked, and she glanced up at him in surprise- but he wasn't looking at her.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"That day it rained- that worm demon. Even without your weapon, we both know you could have purified it easily."

"Hm," was all she said, losing herself in thought. She supposed he was right, but looking back, in that moment she really had believed it was her end... Perhaps it was not because she had thought she couldn't defeat it, but maybe it was because she had not wanted to... The dismal realization dawned on her, and he caught the subtle change in her aura.

"It doesn't matter," he decided dismissively, once again wishing he had not brought up a topic with her. "It's no longer about that... speaking of which," he turned to see straight into her eyes, "perhaps you should sleep."

The suggestion shook her, and she could not speak.

He narrowed his eyes, "You fear him?"

But she shook her head angrily at the allegation.

"Not him," she insisted. "It's... something else. That night when he... spoke with me..."she paused trying to find the right words. "Naraku works best through manipulation," she finally explained. "That night, it was not him that frightened me- it was the darkness he unearthed from within my own mind. That is what I fear..."

He raised an eyebrow in question- the darkness within her? Somehow, he could not grasp the concept...

But all he asked was, "How do you suppose he is able to do it?"

"I do not know..." she hesitated before continuing, "but, Sesshomaru... perhaps I should have told you the full reason for my reluctance to enter this place..."

"Yes?"

"At first I was not completely sure, but now I realize... this place- the darkness in it... it carries the same energy- the same feeling."

Before she could go any further, a discord of 'caws' and breaking branches interrupted her as the bird-demons sought a way down to them, guided by the light of the sword.

Staring above him, he observed, "They are restless." And acting quickly, he slid down beside her and sheathed Tenseiga.

The darkness engulfed them.

"Sesshomaru?" her small voice was lost to it, but his shoulder brushing against hers as he moved reassured her and so she whispered resolutely, "I'll do it."

...OOO...


	14. Constancy

**_Constancy_**

...OOO...

"_Glad you could finally come and see me again, dear Kikyo." Naraku's voice dripped solicitously in the surrounding darkness, but she could not see him. _

_Everything around her was a shadow within a shadow- like walking through a black fog._

"_Where are you?" She commanded her voice to remain calm but it was harder to do in her mind._

"_Here." _

_Whirling around she saw him emerge, his appearance still in the guise of the young lord Hitomi._

"_I see you still fancy yourself to look human," she smirked slightly._

"_I see you still do the same," he returned._

_She scowled at the remark. _

"_What is it you want of me, Naraku?" her voice returned to all seriousness. "Is it revenge you are after for me destroying you?"_

_At that he laughed slowly, "My dear Kikyo, that's the furthest thing from my mind."_

"_Don't toy with me, Naraku. I haven't the patience for it."_

"_Must you always suspect my sincerities?" he asked looking slightly hurt. _

"_Then what is it that you do want?" she demanded tersely, as always more than just a little annoyed with him- flesh or apparition._

"_Simple," he answered, advancing towards her. "What I want is you."_

_Without warning he grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her to him, saying, "Do you know what it is that kept me from totally succumbing to the void you sentenced me to at my demise? The one thought that kept my consciousness alive? It was not hatred, my dear Kikyo, not the need for vengeance. It was my love for you. Even as the rest of my body disintegrated, that damn heart kept beating- beating for you."_

_At first she resisted, but his grip only tightened. Changing her mind she shifted instead into his embrace. _

"_Naraku..." she murmured, allowing his hand to guide her head to rest upon his shoulder._

"_Yes?" he asked. Her voice had lost its edge, retaining nothing more than a hint of bittersweet sadness._

_Inuyasha flashed through her mind._

"_How does it feel- to love something you know you can never have?" And summoning up all her strength she pushed him away._

_He staggered back but caught himself, snapping his head to meet her eyes, boring into them._

"_Why?" he asked angrily, reading her mind. "Why must you always think of that damned dog? He never loved you!"_

"_You destroyed our love!" she shot back, matching his anger. _

_The darkness around them grew tense, grew palpable, as he glared at her rigidly. _

"_Your love?" he sneered, forming his words slowly, deliberately. "What love? You betrayed one another at the first test of that 'love'. Even now, he has abandoned you for the sake of another, allowed you to suffer for all that was beyond your control. Tell me- where is the love in that?"_

_She took a step back. The darkness around her intensified, encroaching upon her. _

_No! _

_She could not allow him to twist up her emotions..._

_But it was becoming increasingly difficult to keep them all in check in here- they were alive. They constituted her very surroundings. _

_Frantically she searched them for something- anything that might fortify her against his words... Something secure, something constant... something she could not question._

_A vision of his golden eyes shot through her mind. _

_Sesshomaru?_

_The image confused her, but then she realized..._

_Cold, unmovable..._

_No matter the fluctuations of the world around him, no matter the circumstance, he never changed. He just was. _

_Constant, always constant._

_She focused her thoughts on him as the black walls around them crumbled, caved, and absorbed the both of them. _

She awoke to see those same golden orbs peering down at her. He was leaning over her, pinning one shoulder down with his hand as Tenseiga gleamed brightly beside her.

"Did he come to you?" he asked, moving back as she sat up.

"Yes," she answered a little absently.

"Well?"

"We need the flower," she replied. "It's too difficult for me to keep all my thoughts in check with him exploiting them."

"He told you nothing of his intentions?" he questioned.

But she looked away from his eyes filled with inquiry.

"No," she answered softly, knowing he would know it was a lie.

And he did, but he merely returned to his original repose against the ravine wall, understanding that she did not wish to talk and that it would be no use trying to force her.

Whatever it was, he decided, she would tell him at her own time.

"Sesshomaru..." Glancing at him uncertainly, she paused in hesitation, but then divulged, "thank you."

"For what?" he asked confused.

Smiling, she went to sit beside him as he extinguished Tenseiga's light.

"For always being cold."

...ooo...

As the night wore on, Kikyo's energy dwindled. It had been a while, she realized, since her last intake of fresh souls. Carefully she weighed the option of conserving her remaining energy by sleeping.

Would Naraku come again? She doubted it- not after that confrontation. Plus he was never one to rush. No, he would bide his time before attempting to claim her again.

Feeling assured by the absence of foreboding, she closed her eyes.

...ooo...

Naraku watched them from the darkness.

Of all the places, he had thought gleefully when he first saw them enter, that they could stumble into, they had stumbled into the one where his thoughts could wander freely, pulsating in its very atmosphere, though however benignly- this forest in which nothing thrived but the black trees and the bird-demons that sought protection from the sun.

Now, however, he glowered at their presence.

_How dare she deny me._

The thought sent waves of anger through him.

_And all for the memory of that worthless Inuyasha._

She had fallen asleep again, but he did not try to contact her. Instead, he watched in amazement as, in the course of her slumber, Kikyo slipped from her original sitting position, unwittingly lowering herself into her companion's lap.

_And he does nothing to push her away..._

Naraku smiled to himself, amused by the development. Never in all his planning had he foreseen this... But, he thought, that only meant that now a whole new set of possibilities had opened themselves up to him.

_To think that our great demon lord has evolved feelings for dear Kikyo..._

He laughed.

_Another foolish moth drawn in by her enigmatic flame._

...ooo...

Sesshomaru frowned, shifting faintly. He wondered if he should awaken her and demand that she move...

But she was sleeping so peacefully, and he had sensed her need for it...

Drawing up his free knee to his elbow, he rested his chin in his hand irrately.

Any other human except Rin would have had their heads lopped off by now for such impudence...

Then another voice reasoned, what could it hurt? She had no knowledge of it anyway, and her weight against his wasn't totally discomforting...

Exasperated with the petty inner conflict, he sighed and gave up, leaning back against the wall of rock.

_Damn woman..._

...OOO...


	15. Wind and Void

_**Wind and Void**_

...OOO...

Kagura watched her sister from the doorway.

_How can she be so damn calm? _she thought, irritated and angry.

_Surely she must know how willingly Naraku had sacrificed her to achieve his own ambitions. That bastard. Even Kanna- his ever favorite, loyal Kanna- was not beyond his selfishness. _

Of course Kagura knew that Kanna was created from the void, that she felt nothing- physical, emotional, or otherwise- but Kagura was never able to quite comprehend such a nihilistic existence and it never stopped her from trying to instill some sort of feeling into her sister.

In the end however, it was Kagura that experienced all the emotions in Kanna's behalf. Anger, bitterness, resentment, grief, confusion- that was why these all stormed inside of her own heart as she watched Kanna sitting on the balcony railing, unmoved by even the slightest hint of an emotion.

Kanna watched as the last dwindling shadow of the night faded with the onslaught of the rising sun, her feet dangling over the side of the balcony. Below her the world fell away down a vertical cliff straight into the churning ocean.

Kagura had brought her here- a small secluded castle Naraku had sometimes used in his physical lifetime. It was once filled with his servants but now it was abandoned. Empty. Just like her.

Just because she lacked a will of her own did not mean Kanna did not have a brain. She was not stupid.

She knew that without her mirror she could not obtain the souls she needed to survive and thrive. Her existence (she couldn't call it a "life"- not really) was coming to an end, and she was well aware why. Naraku had willed it, and she, as always, had obeyed. But she did not resent him. How could she? She had no emotions- she existed only to obey, and that was what she did. And for her it was enough- had always been enough.

Soon she would die, but she didn't mind. (How could she?) After all, for her it meant only returning to the nothingness from which she came, the nothingness of which she was.

Soon... but not yet.

No. There was one last thing he required from her, and she, as always, would obey...

"Kagura," she spoke suddenly, her voice carrying in the wind to her watchful sister. Kanna had known she was there.

"What is it?" Kagura asked coming to stand beside her, apprehensive and hopeful all at once.

"Would you like to know what Naraku wishes to accomplish?"

At last! Kagura thought triumphantly. At last Kanna had broken free of Naraku- had finally come to resent him, to regret ever following him so willingly.

But of course not. Kanna could feel neither resentment nor regret. She was, as always, simply obeying his orders.

...ooo...

As morning dawned, grey light filtered through the thick canopy and into the deep ravine, stirring Kikyo from her sleep, her confused eyes opening to the sight of white silk.

_Did I...?_

Apprehension rose in her throat as she quickly realized what she had done and at his inevitable indignation because of it.

Ever so slowly she shifted her face up to see him...

But sometime in the night, having little else to do, he too had fallen into slumber.

As quietly as she could, she eased herself up, careful not to disturb him, and studied him- the way his head was bowed slightly forward, silver bangs falling over closed eyes, his mouth drawn in a thin frown.

_He looks so serene when he's sleeping... almost... gentle..._

She didn't know why, but it was a thought tinged with sadness.

_How was it, _she asked herself, remembering the dream from last night, _that he of all people was able to reach me? To save me from my own darkness? Even as the cornerstones of my faith failed me, the mere thought of his coldness kept me from succumbing. Why?_

Was she... growing to love him?

No- impossible... but she could not deny that she did hold certain feelings for him, a strange sort of reverence for his calloused nature which cared only for himself but driven by an unflappable honor and his own set of rights and wrongs unhindered by the moralities of others. He was everything she did not believe in, but at the same time, she couldn't help but admire him.

_How did this happen? _She wondered, distraught.

And another voice answered, _it's alright. Even if you did grow to love him, he will never love you back._

And oddly enough, the thought assured her.

Yes, he was safe- he would never return her affections, and that made her happy, because the ones who loved you back were always the ones who hurt you, too. It was an experience she was all too familiar with- the villagers who exalted her also asked for her sacrifice, her little sister- her only family- cast her off when she had no one else to turn to, Onigumo killed her in his lust for her love, a love which made Naraku seek her life over and over again. Even Inuyasha who was once the source of all her happiness was now the source of all her pain, no matter how much either of them wished differently...

But Sesshomaru would never love her, and therefore he would never have the chance to hurt her...

She smiled.

At the thought, she fought the sudden urge to touch him, but she couldn't help herself, one hand reaching over to brush against one delicate heliotrope stripe.

At her caress, his eyes flew open, and she immediately withdrew, a little fearful of his sure subsequent anger.

But all he said was, "So you're awake."

"Good morning," she answered in relief.

In mutual accordance they rose to their feet to scan their now lightened environment.

It was quiet- no birds songs to herald the new day, no muffled scampering of little feet in the underbrush, no sign at all of life awakening- too quiet.

"It feels so...dead," she remarked.

"I don't like it," he agreed.

Abruptly he lifted her up, measuring the distance from where they stood back up to the forest floor and spanning it in one easy leap. They landed with a soft thud, but still nothing aroused with the disturbance.

Until...

"Hello, Kikyo, my one and only."

With shock apparent on both of their faces they whirled around to see Naraku standing beside a tree, a small smile playing on his lips as he stared hard at Kikyo.

"You didn't think I would let you go so easily, did you?" he asked in mock concern.

Sesshomaru drew Tokijen and charged at him, but his blade only buried itself into the trunk of the tree, completely passing through his target.

"Don't waste your energy attacking with useless weapons," he told him, not even bothering to divert his gaze from Kikyo as the demon lord bounded back in consternation. "This body is no more than an illusion created by the concentration of my will and thoughts. It's a magnificent place- this forest."

And Kikyo suddenly understood why she had sensed him upon entering.

"What do you want now?" she demanded sharply, but maintained her calm. So long as she was awake and in control of her thoughts and emotions, he was powerless to use them against her.

"The same thing as always." And it did not escape Sesshomaru that his tone had been devoid of any particular anger and hatred.

But Kikyo's grip on her bow tightened as she glared at him, wishing she had just one more arrow in her empty quiver to shoot at his damn heart- no matter that he was only a mirage.

Suddenly, to her surprise and Naraku's amusement, Sesshomaru launched himself at her, catching her in his arm without stopping as they sped past the trees.

He had thought Naraku would at least attempt to overtake and stop them, but he only laughed, his voice echoing all around them.

"Run all you like, dear Kikyo, but you'll never escape me. We are bound to one another- you and I- and I will have you."

Sesshomaru shot past the interlaced branches of the canopy, taking to the open air above.

She watched the forest fall away, watched it disappear as the distance flew past them. Even though she too was able to travel in the air with the help of her Soul Collectors, this rush was a new experience for her and despite all other concerns that she faced only one desire made itself clear in her mind- the wish to be able to feel it. And suddenly she envied him.

He doesn't even realize how fortunate he is, she thought with a glance at him, and inside she laughed at the irony.

_Now I'm envying demons..._

...ooo...

He continued in flight until whole miles were in between them and the forest before finally landing beside an overgrown field close to the path they had been following and setting her down.

She was barely on her feet again when he demanded angrily, "What did he mean he would have you?"

His anger surprised her, but she shrugged it off and replied, "Just that- he wants me."

"Why?" he persisted. "For revenge?"

"He says not. He says he still loves me," and she laughed humorlessly.

His eyes narrowed to scrutinize her face, "Do you believe him?"

And honestly she responded, "He does not seem interested in anyone else."

Anger and annoyance made him turn his back on her.

It did not take any reading of subtle signs for her to grasp his sudden distemper, but she forced her voice to remain detached as she asked him, "Will you be leaving now?" Though inside what she had really wanted to know was, 'Will you be leaving me?'

His reply came back cold as ice, "I have no reason to stay." And with that he leapt back into the air.

In silence she watched him go, commanding herself not to react one way or another, willing all her emotions down, all the way down, locking them up in her nonexistent heart.

She waited until he was out of sight before sighing wearily. That was all she would allow herself, she decided firmly- one weary sigh.

From the field where he had left her, she made her way back on to the road to pick up her journey.

It did not matter, she told herself. She had always been able to stand on her own and now was no different. How could she blame him for being angry at having wasted his time? The problem with Naraku didn't concern him. It was her problem and hers alone, and that was how she would face it- alone.

She knew it, she accepted it, but no number of assurances and no amount of willing surrender could disguise the bleakness she felt deep inside of her.

...ooo...

As the day wore on Sesshomaru continued in the sky, still very much irritated- but not, as Kikyo had suspected, for having wasted his time searching for Naraku, though he had considered it.

_She's just like every other pathetic human, _his mind spat hatefully. _Always acting like such a righteous holy martyr and all along using me to fight her damn battles, stringing me along for her convenience. _

But even as he thought it, he knew it was wrong. If all she had wanted was assistance, she could have easily gone to Inuyasha. She had not been the one to approach him, after all- rather he had accompanied her out of his own volition. And never once did she obligate him to stay, nor did she try to deny Naraku's motives...

So why was he so damn angry? he asked himself. Why did he feel so cheated?

Her voice echoed in his head.

'_He says he still loves me.'_

She had not said it as if it pleased her, but it was not as if she had been completely disgusted with the prospect either.

The thought infuriated him. His blood boiled and his eyes flared an angry red. If there had been anything around to kill, it surely would have been dead by now.

Breathing deeply, he tried to force himself back to his natural calm.

Why did he allow himself to get so worked up over that damn woman and her lovers anyway? She and Naraku could both rot in the hell where they belonged for all he cared. And she could take Inuyasha down with her. Who was she to command such a rise out of him?

It was the wrong question to ask, only further aggravating him, though this time it was with himself for allowing his temper to slip so easily because of one woman.

Because of her.

That's the last second I will spend on her worthless memory, he promised himself, finally able to force his outrage down.

He was on his way back to his castle when he caught sight of a familiar figure in the air.

Kagura, he thought, unable to stop a small sardonic smile from appearing. At least there was one woman who, if she did not fully understand him, then at least knew enough not to make him angry. A woman who would never question his ideals- would never make him question himself.

She saw him too, and they both landed to greet one another.

"Sesshomaru!" Kagura rushed to him as soon as her bare feet touched earth.

He sensed the desperate urgency in her voice, but he did not speak, waiting for her to explain.

"Tell me," she demanded. "Did you find her? Did you find that priestess?"

...OOO...


	16. Fate

**_Fate_**

...OOO...

Naraku was irritated.

He had hid it well from her, but their second meeting had greatly disturbed him because it should never have been able to happen.

Why? Why did Kikyo still have no soul?

He had set it up so carefully- the search for that damn flower, the troubled birth, the boy, the mantis woman- and one after the other they had fallen into place.

Except that she had refused the soul.

After all that trouble she had rejected his offering- an offering which had cost him Kanna. His Kanna- the only who had ever managed to please him.

If only she had taken it, he thought.

It had been such a simple plan: bring Kikyo back to life, reunite her with Inuyasha, and then...

And then set them up for a second betrayal- and then she would see, finally she would see that all along it was he, Naraku who cared for her. Loved her. Everything he was doing was for her, had always been for her. He was the one who deserved her love. Him and no one else. Finally she would see...

_If only she had taken that girl's soul. _

But it was alright, he reassured himself. She was still not beyond reach. Kikyo could still be his...

...ooo...

Night had fallen and once again Kikyo found herself in another forest- though this one was not nearly so dense nor ominous as the last one she had left. All day long she had followed the highway until, coming up a low rise, she had seen that it threaded through a large town and past an overlooking castle before curving back south again. The sight of civilization had stopped her short, and rather than remain on the road and enter into it, she had decided instead to cut across the nearby woodlands.

She had never before purposely avoided a human society unless it was to call her collectors, but this time that wasn't even the reason. This time she merely wished to be alone.

It was still too early in the evening to take in any souls, so for now she merely wandered aimlessly in a general southern direction, her empty quiver feeling oddly light across her back. It had occurred to her to go into the town and restock, but something held her back.

_If fate wills it that tonight I die, then tonight I shall die regardless of whether I have an arrow for my bow, _she thought grimly and continued on her way.

As she strolled, the trees around her thinned out, eventually melting away into a still pond fed by a shallow brook, ringed by large, smooth boulders, and veiled by the surrounding forest. Calm, peaceful, serene. It beckoned to her, and she answered.

...ooo...

Sesshomaru picked up her scent from where he had left her and followed it down the highway, pursuing it into another forest, Kagura's words ringing in his ears.

'_You have to kill that priestess,' she had said . 'Naraku is planning to use her to restore himself to this world- to take her power as his own. If he succeeds..." Her voice had trailed off, leaving the outcome to his own imagination. _

_So that was why he wanted her..._

After taking leave of the wind witch, his mind had, as always, processed the information and reduced it down to its logical conclusion.

Kagura had seemed more than sincere, but the revelation could have easily been a trap laid by Naraku without her knowing it. But for what reason would that bastard want Kikyo dead? Nevertheless whether the information he had just received was reliable or not, he knew that whatever Naraku was planning, it involved the priestess in a vital way, so killing her was certainly a viable option to stopping him.

It had to be done, he told himself. So why then did a part of him revolt at the idea? It was a senseless opposition but the very presence of it in his mind made him uneasy. Inner conflict was a new experience to the demon lord.

"It's that damn woman," he grumbled under his breath. This was her doing- just another reason to rid himself of her.

The thought replaced his anger with a somber but iron resolution. Having decided his best course of action, he now set out to execute it.

...ooo...

Kikyo slowly removed her haori and hakama and stepped into water the same color black as the night sky, its frigidity unfelt by artificial skin. Her long loose ebony tresses cascaded down her body to meet the water as she waded up to her waist, the mirror like surface reflecting her image- the milky white skin, the proud shoulders, the haunting earthen eyes that stared back at her, right through her...

And she wondered if they had always been so- if this was the same Kikyo as that of fifty years ago.

As if in answer, one of her soul collectors glided down, skimming against the water to break up the image. They had started to gather all around the glade, bringing with them nourishment for her body. Her artificial body of bones and graveyard soil.

She submerged her hands and drew them back up, letting the water slip through outspread fingers.

No. She was not the same- not completely. But no one ever stayed the same. That was part of being alive, the inconstancy... except that she wasn't alive, she reminded herself. And perhaps that was the reason why she feared the unpredictability of the changing heart so much. In this world, you couldn't rely on people with their fluctuating sentiments, forever changing with the days and the seasons. It was something the Kikyo of fifty years ago had never given much thought.

Back then she had her duty, and to her that had been enough. People always needed someone to turn to, someone to put their faith in, to assure them everything would be all right- children had parents, lovers had each other, and followers had leaders. In her first life that was what she had been- the high and mighty priestess who would defend those under her from all evil. The ones she protected had been her source of strength- they needed her to be strong for them, and so she made herself strong for them. That was all it took.

Now...

'_And you?' _he had asked her. _'Who do you turn to for such vital needs?'_

She had not been able to answer him, and now she knew why- she didn't have anyone- not even those who villagers who had depended on her so much.

_Vital needs..._

But those who could not meet their needs, learned to live without, and that was what she did. Because she could not rely on others, she instead relied on fate. That was her comfort, the thing that allowed her to continue. Because fate never wavered, never faltered. What would be would be- and that... that was all she could ever hope for...

_And it would have to be enough,_ she told herself. She would not allow it to be otherwise.

For the second time that day she let out a long slow sigh. Suddenly she felt tired, too tired... But it would pass. It had to.

...ooo...

He had traced her scent into the forest and finally he sensed her aura- she was near- and for a brief second he thought of suppressing his own, but pride and honor forbade him. What sort of coward was he that he had to take a woman- a human woman at that- by surprise? And she had saved his life once, she at least deserved to see who would end hers. No, he would meet her face to face.

Drawing Tokijen, he stepped into the clearing.

And froze as the ethereal scene met his eyes.

There she was, waist deep in water with nothing but her long hair to cover her- long hair which seemed to be part of the water itself- her white skin luminescent against the black. All around and above, her soul collectors danced hypnotically, their snakelike bodies swaying in rhythm to the wind, casting the surrounding trees and boulders in hues of blue, the color of their eerie radiance.

She had been too preoccupied with her own thoughts to sense him, but upon hearing his faint footsteps upon entering, she had turned to see him, her eyes locking into his by mere chance.

Eyes too steeped in sorrow to shed tears- even if she were capable.

He had surprised her after all, but he was the one caught off guard.

She's only human, he scolded himself. A human priestess. A dead human priestess.

So why then couldn't he look away?

In the end she was the one who turned away.

"So you're back," she said vacantly, breaking the silence, the sword in his hand not going by unnoticed. "Did you forget something?"

Surveying the scene, he took in her clothes laid on one of the large boulders, saw the bow beside them along with an empty quiver.

Empty... he had forgotten she had used the last of her arrows the night before.

Inside it pricked at his sense of honor. Of all times he had to come in when she was at her most defenseless...

"Kagura has discovered that Naraku wishes to use your powers to help him return to this world," he finally told her.

"So you wish to kill me to prevent him," she guessed matter-of-factly. "So why do you hesitate?" And then he caught his eyes staring at her and she had to smile in amusement.

Slowly she stepped out of the water, her serpentine attendants encircling in tight formation, screening her as she dressed.

"Is this better?" she asked sardonically after she was done, coming to face him.

His eyes narrowed at her tone.

_She dares to mock me? _

But he held his tongue.

"Why do you hold back?" she demanded bitterly. "You hate me, do you not? Just like how you hate Inuyasha for being half-demon- you feel the same about me. Because we are abnormalities, things that should never have been. Unnatural. Repulsive. Well here is your chance to fix one mistake. Take it."

The hostility in his eyes melted as he replaced Tokijen into its sheath.

"And play right into Naraku's hands?" he asked. "Do you take me for a fool?"

"A stubborn one," she replied dryly.

"You're one to talk," he retorted in the just the same, and she laughed at their pettiness, but it was an easy laugh, one that made him stare at her in wonder.

It was amazing, he thought, how that sound had the power to evaporate all the tension in between them.

She was about to turn away when his voice stopped her.

"Priestess," he declared. "If I hated you, I would not bother to tolerate your presence."

"Perhaps," she reasoned, trying to reassure them both of the fact, "you tolerate my presence simply because you hate Naraku more." With that she shouldered her weapons and walked away.

His elegant eyebrows furrowed in thought. _How?_ How did she always manage to leave him speechless?

It was a question which left him frowning without an answer, as he followed her out of the clearing.

...OOO...


	17. Here at Last

_**Here At Last**_

__...OOO...

Kagome clung to Inuyasha's neck as he sped along, bare feet pounding the beaten earth, the landscape melting in a blur of green as they passed. For hours now he had kept this pace.

_He must be tired by now..._

The thought worried Kagome, but Inuyasha was determined to catch up to Kikyo as soon as possible. It broke her heart.

_Inuyasha..._

He had told her what happened- about the soul and Naraku's reappearance, and like everyone else she was just as baffled by them.

_Why did she refuse my soul?_

Not that Kagome wasn't happy that she had but she couldn't understand Kikyo's actions. Even she couldn't have blamed her if she had kept it...

It had taken her two whole days of bed rest to feel well again, and he had stayed beside her the entire time. But as soon as he saw she was well again, Inuyasha had decided to return to the feudal era, and she had insisted on going with him...

_Even_ _if only to tell him good-bye in the end..._

...ooo...

It had taken them another two days and nights of nonstop travel before finally on the noon of the third day they arrived at last at the valley- a gently sloping expanse of tall green grass and wild vegetation on the other side of which was a small shrine set against a grove of cherry trees.

As they approached they were greeted by a short elderly woman in a plain black kimono, her long gray hair in a thick braid.

"Welcome," she proclaimed, an all knowing smile playing on her lips, "Priestess Kikyo and Sesshomaru demon prince of the Western Lands."

Instantly Sesshomaru was on his guard, but the woman merely chuckled at his tension. "Calm down. I foresaw your coming- though I could hardly believe it and still quite can't. I am the ancient priestess Aiko, keeper of this valley."

"Then you know also why we come?" Kikyo inquired.

"Yes, yes," the elder priestess replied. "The same reason why anyone ever comes to visit me. It's not an uncommon thing- many monks and ascetics often seek the aid of the magical blossoms to divine their own hearts and minds."

"Can you tell us then, Lady Aiko, how the flowers work?"

But she shook her gray head, "Even I am not certain. As far as I can determine it is not so much any physical or chemical property of the flower itself, but the mystical ritual in which they are used that seems to bring about the transcendence."

_So it might work on me, _Kikyo thought hopefully and out loud asked, "Lady Aiko, might I undergo this ritual today?"

"Well..." Aiko hesitated teasingly. "You see the flowers must be dried and ground in order to make the incense needed for the ritual..."

"Oh." It was disappointment mixed with relief. "How long does it take?"

"Well, I do have some incense readily available- very little, but enough for one more ritual... however, the flowers don't actually grow in the valley (contrary to popular belief)- they must be harvested from that tree up there." And she pointed one gnarled finger to the summit of the nearby mountain, not wide but very, very steep, and to the lone but immense tree which arose from it to meet the azure sky. "And well," she continued nodding down at herself, "as you can see, I am not in the best of conditions to undertake such a task..."

"So you want us to go up there for you and gather them," Sesshomaru ended bluntly, finally getting to the point.

"Exactly," the old woman grinned.

Kikyo and Sesshomaru exchanged questioning glances and finally Kikyo asked, "How much must we gather?"

"Well," answered Aiko in thought, "since you're going up there anyway..." And she disappeared into the shrine and brought out two woven rush baskets each almost as tall as Kikyo.

If ever there was a time in either of their lives that a gigantic sweat drop was appropriate, this was it.

Instead Sesshomaru stifled his annoyance and picked up both baskets, stacking them one on top of the other and made his way to the base of the mountain with Kikyo following. Effortlessly he spanned its towering height to deposit them, then went back down for her.

The pinnacle of the mountain was an almost perfect triangular peak offering very little leeway to move without the danger of slipping on its bare rock surface and falling. The tree, which must have been at least 20 feet in diameter and 500 feet in height, was the only thing which grew on the summit, anchoring itself to the rock with roots so massive they seemed more like an extension of the earth itself. It was on one of these that he landed and set her down, right beside the precariously balanced baskets.

Eyeing her doubtfully, he couldn't help himself.

"Be careful," he cautioned. "Don't move." And before she could reply, he bounded up from one stocky branch to another in search of the blossoms- still unable to believe how he had been cornered into doing such a menial task.

Supporting herself with one hand, Kikyo glanced up after him as he disappeared into the cloud of green above her.

_Don't move?_

Why then had he bothered to bring her up at all if he only expected her to sit idly by?

"What are you doing?" he cried out, unable to hide the small bit of alarm that escaped as one of her collector demons wound itself around her body, lifting her up to a nearby branch.

"You really don't think I'm so useless as to just sit and watch, do you?" Another one brought her a basket, and she reached out her arms to receive it.

"Do what you want," he mumbled, "but don't expect me to come flying to your rescue when you fall." All the while knowing full well that he would.

In response she threw a flower at his head.

_She's taking too many freedoms with me, _he thought stonily as it bounced off, but he merely caught it on the way down and tossed it back before uptaking a few higher branches.

She smiled after him.

_He's really not as cold hearted as he tries to make himself to be. _

But in a way, she understood why he did. Sometimes it was just easier when you didn't care.

...ooo...

From the shrine Aiko gazed up at the tree, every now and then catching a quick glimpse of red or white as well as faint flashes of light that threaded through the leaves.

_What an odd pair, _she thought. _He cares only for himself, while she cares for everyone but herself- a priestess without a heart and a demon lord who refused to use his... _or maybe that's why they weren't so odd after all.

...ooo...

With the help of the soul collectors, they had managed to gather the elusive blossoms which- though numerous enough- were spread out and well hidden beneath the dense foliage. But by late afternoon both baskets were filled, and he brought her back down as her snake-like helpers followed with the flowers.

Aiko went to meet them.

"Well done!" she praised eyeing the full baskets, and to both of her visitors' surprise, she hoisted both easily, balancing them on each side of her shoulders as she marched back to the shrine.

"Well, come on," she prodded. "'Time wasted in idleness profits no one' - or something like that."

Again Kikyo and Sesshomaru exchanged glances.

"Strange old woman," he muttered, and she laughed as they followed her lead.

"Strange, yes, but I trust her."

...ooo...

Since the magic of the incense was most potent at night, they had a few hours to wait.

Kikyo decided to help Aiko bundle clusters of the flowers together to hang up and dry while Sesshomaru disappeared for a while.

Though he did not tell them, he had gone out to survey the valley and surrounding lands, making sure it was safe- that nothing would attack them while she was incapacitated. Satisfied with his search, he returned at sundown to find her lying alone in the open field.

"What are you doing?" he asked staring down at her, casting her in his shadow.

She smiled at his sight and replied, "Waiting."

Lowering himself beside her he gazed away into the distance and asked, "Are you worried?"

"Somewhat," she answered truthfully, and after a short pause, "... but it's so nice here, don't you think? It's so calm and peaceful..."

He didn't answer, but she knew he was listening.

The valley _was_ a peaceful place- the sort of place that always set her mind at ease, the sort of place where she could be happy... The sort of place she had used to dream about living in- with a small cottage and a garden and laughing children and...

As each settled into their own thoughts, a light silence fell broken only by the soft murmur of the steady wind through the tall grass.

Suddenly, out of nowhere she asked, "Sesshomaru, what was your father like?"

The question startled him- he never talked of his family. Ever.

So he wondered why he answered and said, "He was the most powerful demon I knew. No one questioned his strength even though he had a weakness for humans. He died in order to save one."

_Inuyasha's mother... _she thought. Is that why he hated his brother so much before? But instead she asked, "And your mother?"

She caught the admiration in his tone as he responded, "Mother was a proud, noble woman. She was the one who taught me strength beyond my physical power, to never question honor, to never accept failure and defeat. She was the one who gave me my name and instilled in me my discipline and the value of obtaining perfection."

_So that is why he strives so hard to be better and stronger than everyone else- to live up to his mother's legacy..._

"What happened to her?" she implored quietly.

"During a war, while my father was away in battle, we were betrayed by one of his retainers who had snuck in enemy soldiers into the castle. She died, but she took them all down with her." It was the first time he had ever talked so openly about his mother in many centuries- the first time he thought of her so openly, in fact.

But it was ok. Once, just this once, it was ok.

He held back enough, however, not to tell her about the real reason why his mother had died. He didn't tell her that it had been his fault- that they had been after him, trying to kidnap him and use him as ransom against his father, that she had sacrificed her life for his. That was the reason why he had to become powerful- to prove to her and to himself that her sacrifice had not been in vain...

Next to him, Kikyo sighed wistfully, feeling the sudden emotion wrought upon him with the onslaught of his mother's memories- even as his face registered no visible signs.

"I can't remember my parents," she told him. "When I was very young, I was taken away in order to train for my duty as guardian to the Jewel of Four Souls, and after I finally completed and was able to return home, they had already passed away, leaving behind a sister whom I did not even know had existed."

"Do you regret it? Never knowing them?"

She thought about it for a minute before admitting, "I can't say. Even back then I can't remember missing them- I never really knew them as individuals. It was more the concept of simply having parents- someone to look up to and trust... The priests who raised me trained me well for my duty, but it was always... lacking."

They fell back into silence, but he reflected on her words and found that he understood because he too had been deprived of that essence by the death of his mother. But they had both learned to live without it, and perhaps that was what made them stronger in the end- that they had early on learned to rely upon themselves to fulfill that need instead of shifting the responsibility to another.

Meanwhile, she wondered if it was why she had, on a strange level, always found herself attracted to him- because they were the same in that sense. They mirrored one another- alike opposites.

The same idea had formed in his mind. They shared that connection, and he finally realized why she had always made him feel uneasy with her presence- even before, when their paths crossed but for brief moments at a time. She reminded him of himself, the self he did not want to acknowledge- the little boy who had lost his mother and was devastated by it. The boy who had built up around his heart a fortress of stone and ice to keep him from ever feeling such pain again.

Pushing herself up, she turned to see him and their eyes met, and in that instant they read in one another the thoughts they had contemplated within themselves.

She smiled, and on impulse he reached over to brush away the blade of grass caught in her hair...

And he smiled back.

A smile which took her in complete amazement- a beautiful smile, small, barely even perceptible on his lips but which shone in his amber eyes, almost childishly shy, and yet so warm and tender...

A smile which tore her up inside.

Abruptly she spun around and walked away quickly, leaving him stunned on the grass, the smile replaced now by grim iciness as he watched her withdraw.

...ooo...

"Ah, there you are," Aiko exclaimed standing on the front porch when she saw Kikyo. "It's just about dark, we can st-"

"I'm sorry," Kikyo interrupted hurriedly rushing past her and into the shrine.

Sliding the door shut behind her, she brought both hands to her face, closing her eyes.

For the first time in either lifetime, she found herself wishing she could cry...

...OOO...


	18. Illusions

_**Illusions**_

...OOO...

It was not right. It was wrong of her to do that to him, she scolded herself frantically. She had no right...

_When did I become so weak?_

The sudden question flooded her with immeasurable fear. No, it was unacceptable. She should have known better, should have learned her lesson by now.

How could she have been so foolish as to not sense herself slipping? she demanded angrily.

_Pathetic humans..._

He was right- she was weak.

Aiko's soft knocking on the door broke her from her thoughts. Sliding it open, she faced the old woman who stared at her in deep concern.

"I'm sorry," Kikyo apologized quickly. "I-" but the woman held up her hand.

"No need to explain," she said kindly. "But I wanted to know if you would like to go through with the ritual tonight..."

"Where is Sesshomaru?" she asked softly, afraid of the answer.

Aiko pointed, "I saw him stalk off through those trees."

Stepping past her, Kikyo stared off in the direction she had indicated.

"I'll... I'll be back," she said uncertainly.

...ooo...

Sesshomaru stood at the edge of the bluff just past the valley. He had thought about leaving again, but something held him back so instead he just scowled at the ground.

Who did that woman think she was? He seethed. Getting him to open up about his family, sharing her thoughts, smiling at him with that damn smile of hers! And then running away and making a complete fool out of him.

_You made a fool of yourself, _another voice sneered contemptuously. Smiling at her? Why had he done that?

Ugh, he was a fool. A complete idiot. Of course she had run away- he smiled at her! What had he expected her to do? Throw herself into his arms? She was still in love with that half-breed brother of his, for heaven's sake!

_And what the hell did it matter who she was in love with?_ another voice cried in frustrated obstinacy. It wasn't as if he wanted her love...

The contemptuous voice scorned him, _You fool. You call her weak and yet here you are flustered because she was upset with your smile. _

A low, dangerous growl rose in his throat as his hand gripped Tokijen's hilt tightly.

Dammit! And when did all these voices suddenly come into being anyway?

He should have killed her, he thought, and spared himself this frivolous insanity.

"Sesshomaru."

The sound of her voice behind him nearly knocked him over, but he quickly caught himself as his expression iced over, and he did not answer.

But she wasn't waiting for him to.

"I'm sorry," she said, her voice strong and steady but undoubtedly remorseful. "It was wrong of me to do what I did... Though you don't know it, more than once already you've saved me from Naraku, and I suppose I never realized until now how much I've used you to guard against him. But it was not right of me to put such an unwanted burden upon your shoulders- no matter how unwittingly- and for that I am deeply sorry. I do not ask for your forgiveness- hate me all you like if that will somehow atone for my wrong- but I wanted to apologize. I am sorry," she repeated. "You were right. I am weak."

He listened to her apology, knew that she was sincere, and somehow it was enough to mollify the warring turmoil inside of him and quiet the unrelenting voices. But it had caught him off guard, as well, and for several minutes he was unable to speak.

When she saw he did not answer, she turned to leave, but he stopped her.

"Tell me," he demanded slowly, dangerously, not turning to see her just as she did not turn to see him. "Do you doubt my strength?"

"No," she answered softly but firmly as she walked away. "I doubt my own." And with that she disappeared through the screen of trees to make her way back to the shrine.

...ooo...

"Are you sure you'd like to do this now?" Aiko interrogated in concern.

"Yes," Kikyo answered with all certainty. "It must be done and there is no use in my delaying the inevitable." But inside she sighed as she laid herself down in the stone altar.

If only she did not have to face it be herself.

_No,_ she rebuked herself. _Stop thinking that way. This is my trial, my duty, my fate, and I will face it on my own. _

And as if replying to her thoughts the elder woman conceded, "If you insist." She handed Kikyo an opened blossom, and she accepted it and held it to her chest where her heart- if she had a heart- would be, lifting her hand a little as the other woman wrapped it in a rosary. Then she stamped it with an incantation scroll and placed another on Kikyo's forehead. Along the edge of the altar, Aiko poured a thin line of sand, boxing her in, and lit a stick of incense on each corner.

"Ok," she instructed. "Close your eyes and empty your thoughts..."

Kikyo did so and soon she was drifting away to the sound of the old woman's chanting, drifting away into a peaceful sort of oblivion.

...ooo...

When the darkness cleared, Kikyo found herself standing in what looked to be a very long corridor with many offshooting halls and lined on either side with countless doors- some closed and others opened.

_Is this my mind?_ She wondered, and was bewildered at being able to think within herself while being in herself. She took a few cautious steps forward, her feet making no sound on the wooden floorboards.

Tentatively she opened the door closest to her and stepped inside.

But instead of a room, she was standing on a road bordered on each side by modest but comfortable looking houses.

And she saw herself- her younger self at about eleven years old- dressed in the same red hakama and white haori. Beside her was a man, a priest- her old master, she realized- talking with one of the villagers just outside one of the houses. Her younger self wasn't paying attention to them, however. Rather she was staring intently on a small group of children playing nearby. One- another girl only a little younger- was chasing the others, but she tripped and fell, scraping her knees and bursting out crying. Suddenly, a woman rushed out from another house and ran to comfort the girl, drawing her into a hug. The girl sniffled but calmed down, allowing her mother to carry her back into the house to mend her cuts.

Kikyo watched herself, that expression on her younger face so familiar... She recognized it right away- longing.

Then her master said something to her and wordlessly she followed him away.

_A memory..._ Kikyo thought as she stepped back into the corridor. One she had almost forgotten...

Making her way down the hall, she randomly opened doors, peeking inside each one. They were all memories of her childhood- if she could call it that. It had been lonely, she decided, but back then she never realized just how much... not until Inuyasha had opened up her heart...

_But I guess it's only natural- you can't miss something you never had..._ or was that really true? Even as a child she had always longed for _something_ but she had just never been able to name it. Even now she wasn't really sure.

Quickly she pushed the thought from her mind. It was dangerous to want, because wanting led to selfishness and she knew that would led her to ruin- it had once before. When you start to question your circumstance and desire for things you were never meant to have, that's when you turn against yourself, turn against fate. That's when you faltered. And she... she could not afford to falter.

Turning down another hall, she opened the first door she came to, but there was nothing inside. Well, that wasn't wholly true- she could sense that something was meant to be there, but she couldn't make it out, so she shut it again. All the other doors along that hall opened to the same scene, and she wondered what it meant, but quickly forgot that train of thought as she entered into another passage.

She didn't like this one- it was dark and foreboding. She thought of turning around and going back, but she stopped herself, remembering why she was here in the first place. If Naraku was anywhere in her mind, this is where he would be. So she proceeded.

Whereas everywhere else she had treaded her footsteps had made no sound, here they echoed dead and deafening. It didn't take her long to realize what this part of her mind housed- her fears, the dark part of herself that existed within all living things.

From somewhere in the shadows she heard a soft rustle...

"Come out, Naraku," she commanded. But he merely laughed, the echoes disguising where it came from. Angrily she flung open one of the doors, not quite realizing what she was doing. At first she shied away, but then curiosity got the better of her and she edged closer to the open frame.

What did she fear? She really had not thought about it before... But inside it was only darkness- like a black hole that sucked in all light. Frowning, she stepped back and opened another, but this one was the same. Door after door after door, they were all the same... except the last one.

At first it too had seemed nothing more than an unlit room, but then a tinge of red showed in the black and the scene unfolded. Black tinged with red- the night sky lit aglow by the burning village. The whole village was crumbling, eaten away by the angry fire. She heard frightened agonized screams but saw no one... And there was blood, so much blood... Holding up her hand, she realized it was covered with the crimson liquid. Her blood.

"Hello, Kikyo." The smug voice behind her caused her to whirl around, her eyes widening when she beheld him.

"Inu...yasha?" she asked in a voice that was barely a whisper.

"Who else?" it asked, lightly tapping his sword on his red shoulder.

But she frowned. _No, this couldn't be. _

"How dare you?" she demanded, her eyes slitting dangerously. "How dare you imitate him? Take off that face before I destroy you."

"You think you're so strong," the image mocked, a slow sadistic smile spreading on his lips, revealing the fangs, as he lifted the sword from his shoulder. "You think you have everything figured out, don't you? Well, I'm here to tell you, you don't know anything. You're nothing more than a pathetic zombie who refuses to stay dead and buried- clinging to a life you never even had."

"You're only an illusion- what would you know about life?"

"Get off it," it spat. "You thought you had me- how pitiful. You really believe I could even love someone like you?" And without another moment of hesitation, without the slightest reluctance, he brought his sword down on her, opening up her body, staining the white haori in her blood, and she collapsed to her knees, but it was his words that stung her more than the sword.

"No," she murmured to herself. "It's not him. It's not..."

_Why? Why was it always like this? This isn't real, it's not! So why... why did it hurt so much?_

In the hallway, the darkness in the other rooms pulsated and throbbed.

"You just don't get it, do you?" the fake Inuyasha continued, towering over her, lifting his sword over her. "Over and over again, I hurt you." And he swung it down, again. And again. And again. "I kill you, over and over again, I kill you, but you refuse to understand. And so I have to keep killing you and killing you and killing you, because you won't understand unless I do it. Don't you see? It's your fault!"

She was on the ground now, looking up at a red sky. Everything was red... Inuyasha's face sneered down at her- red, an angry red.

"I never loved you and I never will. No one does- not me, not your sister, and certainly not those people you so desperately try to protect- hell, they'd sacrifice you to meet their own needs before ever lifting a finger to help you meet yours. You're a worthless pile of mud- you always were. Now go back to hell." The sword pierced her through, pinning her to the ground.

_Why? _She screamed to herself. _Why did this always happen? I thought you loved me!_

Immediately all of the emotions she had felt that night more than fifty years ago came flooding back to her- the dumbfounded confusion, the anger, the hurt, the pain, the hatred...

_WHY?_

The darkness broke, triggered by that one question. It crashed through the walls, engulfing the hall and surging down throughout the others, boring into all the doors and drowning out all other pieces of her mind.

_Why, why, why..._ the single word pounded itself into her head, repeating itself like a mantra.

Finally the darkness reached her. It swallowed the screams, swallowed the burning village, the red-stained sky, Inuyasha... Everything was absorbed into its abyss...

And she was alone, her mind numb and fuzzy.

For a while she simply laid there staring off into the nothingness that surrounded her.

_It's so empty... _she thought vacantly. _Where did everything go? _

...ooo...

He approached her slowly but confidently, stepping out from the shadows.

_At last,_ he thought as he neared her broken body. _At last, at last, at last..._

Kneeling down beside her, he cradled her into his arms, and she stirred lethargically at his touch, her blurry eyes focusing on his face.

"Hm?" she asked blankly, childishly. "Who are you? And why does it hurt so much?" Something in him pulsed and something inside her answered.

"Shh..." he murmured, bringing her closer. "It's alright. Everything will be all right- I have you now..."

...OOO...


	19. Stolen Moments

**_Stolen Moments_**

...OOO...

The door of the shrine burst open as Sesshomaru strode in bringing with him a gust of cold wind. Instantly his eyes fell on Kikyo lying on the altar.

Something was wrong.

"You're too late," Aiko told him blankly from her kneeling position in front of it. "She'll be his soon."

It did not take his keen sense of hearing to notice the alteration in her voice, and he knew- whoever this was now, it wasn't the same as the priestess from earlier that afternoon.

Reading his intuition, the woman reached back and tugged her long hair over her shoulder to reveal the back of her neck stamped with the unmistakable emblem of a spider.

She smirked, "She was useless after performing the ritual rites. The old bag never knew what bit her."

From her stone bed, Kikyo moaned softly, an expression of deep pain etching itself on her face. Pushing past the old woman, he reached for the incantation scroll binding her hands.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Naraku's puppet laughingly warned him. "Unless, of course, you'd prefer to trap her inside her own mind forever." Then she shrugged, "Then again, I suppose it doesn't matter. Either way my master wins."

Unable to stand her banter any longer, Sesshomaru cut her down and she crumpled to the ground but did not bleed as her body shriveled and turned to dust before his eyes, swept away by the invading wind to leave only her garments behind.

It had all been a set up, he scowled to himself. Naraku had planned this from the very beginning and like blind fools, they had fallen right into it.

Kikyo muttered softly in her trance, and he turned his attention to her. The pained look was gone now, replaced by eyebrows creased slightly in confusion.

In her sleep she whispered the name that chilled him, "Naraku?"

...ooo...

"Naraku?" Kikyo asked bewildered as he leaned over her, brushing away a strand of hair which had fallen across her face. The name sounded familiar, but she didn't know why. "Do I know you?"

"Yes," he answered, unconcerned with her disorientation. It had been too much for her. He knew it would be- he had counted on it.

"Who are you?" Something... something in him evoked something inside her- awakened a strange energy that was her own but wasn't. But she didn't know what... just something.

He smiled down at her, "I'm the one who loves you, the one who'll take care of you. From now on you won't have to worry anymore. You'll never have to hurt again."

But she frowned, examining his face. Why? Why couldn't she remember?

...ooo...

Sesshomaru fixed his gaze on her. Should he break the spell? he wondered? Rip apart those damn scrolls? Blow out the incense?

But no, he couldn't take that chance. It was too risky...

On impulse he reached over and placed his hand over hers and, not knowing what else to do, spoke, "Kikyo."

...ooo...

_Kikyo._

The name echoed in the darkness, and both she and Naraku glanced up as if expecting to see the speaker.

"Kikyo?" she pronounced the name as if it were foreign to her tongue.

Naraku frowned in aggravation.

...ooo...

"Kikyo?"

Sesshomaru almost withdrew his hand from hers as she echoed him.

_She had heard?_

Tentatively he answered, "Yes. That's your name."

...ooo...

_Kikyo..._ she thought, and remembered. Yes. That was her name.

As the knowledge seeped in, she didn't notice Naraku's image fade as he glowered at the offending voice in the darkness.

_That damn dog..._ _how? How was he doing this?_

In his arms, Kikyo shifted, trying to decipher the direction the voice was coming from. It sounded so familiar... so why couldn't she place it?

Aloud she asked, "Who... are you?"

...ooo...

The question struck him bitterly.

_She does not know? _

But swallowing his pride, he replied softly, "Sesshomaru."

...ooo...

"Sesshomaru?" _Yes... she knew that name as well. And with more confidence, she repeated, _"Sesshomaru... Where are you?"

"Here." _He appeared beside her, replacing Naraku who had vanished with her inattention. Kneeling down, he fingered her hair carefully, mindful of his sharp claws. _"What happened?"

"I don't know," _she murmured, shifting her face to rest against his hand. _"Too many doors... a girl and a mother..." _little by little bits and pieces were coming back to her. _"Lots of gray and black... and red... so much red... Why does it hurt so much?"

He heard the distress in her voice as she tried to remember, and it pained him.

"It's alright," he told her gently.

_Dropping down completely, he slid his arm under her and pulled her to him, trying to comfort her. _

It was alright, right? It was only in her head. It was only a dream... she would never know...

_She melted into him, burying her head in the soft fur, and sighed peacefully. _

_He feels so nice... so warm and strong and... safe. The word reverberated in her mind, triggering more memories. Safe. _

"It's so dark in here," she commented.

"It doesn't have to be," he responded.

_She slid herself further up his body until she was completely on his lap, her head resting on his shoulder, and wordlessly he reached his hand to stroke it tenderly before dropping his arm to wrap around her slim waist. _

_They didn't speak as the scenery around them evolved, and he leaned back a little. Now they were sitting under a blossoming cherry tree on a low hill, a light breeze stirring the flowers, the grass, and their hair. It was night, but there was a large full moon bathing them in its diffused light, interrupted now and again only by wisps of passing clouds._

"Sesshomaru..." her voice had lost its childish undertones, and he knew she was herself again.

"Hm?"

_Yes, she remembered it all now- where she was and how she got there... but it didn't seem to matter. At this very moment, at least, it couldn't touch her._

_It was alright, wasn't it? It was only in her mind. She was only dreaming... he'd never know... _

"Will you stay with me? Until I wake up?"

"Yes," he promised. "I'll stay with you."

...OOO...


	20. Love Unraveled

_**Love Unraveled**_

...OOO...

_She... she would choose that dog over me?_

Naraku was livid with indignation at the thought. How? How did that emotionally constipated unfeeling bastard gain the one thing he himself so wholly coveted and strove for?

It was not right. He deserved Kikyo- not Inuyasha and certainly not Sesshomaru.

_So how was it that she loves him and not me?_

He let out a low menacing snarl. It was intolerable... but maybe, just maybe, he could use it to his own advantage.

A slow devious smile tugged at his lips as a new plan unraveled in his scheming mind.

Yes... maybe this wasn't so bad after all...

...ooo...

Kikyo stood on the small rise, the strong, steady breeze billowing through the folds of her clothing and whipping past her hair. Aiko's grave marker protruded from the ground in front of her, hung with a wreath of the flowers she had tended to in life. The blinding sun was already high and climbing higher in the cloudless sky signaling the oncoming noon. They would leave soon, but she wanted these last few moments to say good-bye.

Kikyo knew- it was her fault the priestess had died. If she had only discovered the plot earlier, if she had never come, if she had never... the line of guilt traced its way back to the very beginning when she first allowed herself to feel all the emotions that led her to shoot that spellbound arrow. A moment of weakness that reverberated through time and continued to haunt her, to make her pay. An echo that refused to fade.

That illusion of Inuyasha was right. It was her fault- her fault that they all suffered now. It was the penance inflicted upon not only herself, but all those that she cared for and even all those that they loved- like a never ending ripple in which she was the epicenter. All because she had succumbed to that selfish desire called 'love'.

She swivelled to see Sesshomaru as he came to stand behind her. They didn't speak- they didn't need to. Their eyes said everything. It was time to go. He turned, and she followed.

_Where to now? _she wondered. Would they part? There was little reason for them not to...

'_Will you stay with me?'_

'_I'll stay.'_

She had asked and he had answered. But that was only a dream- a dream the other need never know about.

So she didn't repeat the request, and he did not reaffirm his promise as they left the valley and returned to the highway. Instead he merely continued to lead and she wordlessly followed, because if they did not speak then they did not have to separate.

It was Inuyasha who broke that mutual accord and forced them to decide.

...ooo...

He caught her scent in the wind and followed it, and there she was trailing behind Sesshomaru. Right away he knew that the situation did not bode well.

Kagome dismounted as they landed on the highway and waited for Sesshomaru and Kikyo to come closer.

They stopped, and for a moment no one moved or spoke- they simply stared at one another.

"Well?" Inuyasha finally inquired stepping up to Kikyo. "How'd it go?"

She didn't know how to answer.

In the end it was Sesshomaru who filled in the ensuing silence. Turning his face to the destination of the sun, he said, "I have a castle not too far from here. It's empty, but we can use it for the night."

Inuyasha understood but hesitated, glancing first at Kikyo and then Kagome. How was he going to do this? he wondered, but Sesshomaru decided for him by offering his arm to the elder girl who accepted it without qualm.

Turning to her, Inuyasha once again motioned for Kagome to climb on, and when she did, both brothers took off- Sesshomaru gliding low above the trees and Inuyasha bounding after him.

Kagome braced herself against Inuyasha, but all the while she kept her sight fixated to the two figures just ahead of them.

She couldn't believe it... The way his arm encased her firmly but carefully, the way her arms draped over his shoulders in return...

Even if Kagome was not the most perceptive person alive (and she never claimed to be) she had seen enough movies and read enough books to interpret the signs when she saw them...

But it did nothing to lessen her surprise.

_Had they... fallen in love? _It was an incredulous revelation and she was too amazed to even wonder if she should be happy or hopeful. Never in any of the scenarios she had envisioned would happen between herself, Inuyasha, and Kikyo, did she ever imagine _this- _that somehow their situation could get even more complicated.

Whatever significance there was in the actions of his brother and Kikyo towards one another, however, it was completely lost to Inuyasha. Of course he couldn't help but dislike the fact that she was so close to him, but it was done only out of necessity. It was not as if they enjoyed it either. No matter how abnormal her circumstance, Kikyo was still human after all, and Sesshomaru detested humans like a plague. And there was no way she could ever fall for a guy as stuck up, apathetic, and emotionally distant as he was... It was simply impossible.

But Inuyasha had to block out the fact that, in all honesty, he himself had been exactly that way when Kikyo had fallen in love with him...

...ooo...

"_Kagura!"_

Naraku's voice shot through her like an angry wave, and she had to fight to regain control of the feather as it careened precariously in the air.

"_What the hell do you want?" _she asked sullenly when her flight steadied, not caring that he sounded more outraged that usual.

"_Your damn demon lord failed you," _he smoldered. _"Kikyo is still alive."_

Kagura's eyes widened.

"_Sesshomaru? How did you...?" _and realization struck her- he had put Kanna up to it. Once again she had been played like a pawn.

_So he didn't really want to take her power? _she thought, trying to discern his true motives. _He really wants the priestess dead? Or was her death a part of his plan to resurrect himself? What the hell does he really plan to accomplish?_

Though she would never know it, Naraku's plan for Kagura to persuade Sesshomaru to kill Kikyo had not only failed- it had backfired miserably. He had never intended Kikyo's death- it had been nothing more than a scheme to separate the two- but he had never foreseen that Sesshomaru would leave her so abruptly and that it was his rouse of attempting to steal her spiritual powers that would bring him back to her. It was a horrible error.

Nevertheless Naraku moved forward. He did not dwell on his mistakes but salvaged whatever he could from them and used it to further the whole plot.

And that was exactly what he was doing now.

He wouldn't have to bother with Inuyasha after all- his brother would do just fine. Better even. Yes, everything would still work out...

"_Would you really like to know what it is I desire, dear Kagura?" _he baited enticingly.

But she didn't respond knowing that whatever he said could not be trusted to be the truth.

So he continued, _"It's quite simple, really. All I want is my beloved Kikyo."_

Was he serious?

Kagura sneered, _"She'd never take you. That woman hates you to no end."_

"_Only because," _he argued, _"she can't see how much I've cared for her all this time- how much I continue to love her."_

When it came to quick and witty remarks, Kagura had never been lacking, but this time even she was at a complete loss for words.

_Cared for her? Was this bastard serious? _She had never been too fond of the woman but even Kagura had to concede that out of all those who hated Naraku (and there were many- herself included) the priestess was probably the one who had the most right. Naraku's skewed view of reality never could cease to amaze her.

"_So what do you want from me?" _she sulked in return, suddenly remembering her fading sister. _"Why don't you have your obedient little slave do your dirty work? Get one more use out of her before she dies?"_

"_Kanna is beyond me now," _he dismissed briskly. _"Besides, she could never get as close to our dear Sesshomaru as you can, Kagura."_

"_Sesshomaru? What does he have to do with anything?"_

"_I need him to kill her for me," _he stated factually.

"_And how do you intend to do that?" _she retorted sarcastically. _"Prance up to him and say, 'Excuse me, I know you hate my guts but if you wouldn't mind doing me a favor...'"_

Ignoring her acid remark, he answered, "_That's where you come in- I need you to implant him with the spider I will give you._

"_So how exactly will killing your 'beloved' win you her love?" _Kagura was more than justified in her skepticism.

"_Leave the details to me," _he told her.

"_And afterwards?" _she inquired with apprehension.

"_Oh, don't fret yourself over your precious dog demon," _he cooed reassuringly. _"As soon as he has served my purpose, I'll return him to you along with your freedom. Once," _he emphasized,_ "I have my Kikyo."_

But Kagura was still uneasy.

"_How do I know you'll keep your promise?" _

"_What choice do you have?"_

The stinging truth caused her to grimace and resignedly she inquired, _"Where do I find the spider?"_

...OOO...


	21. Anatomy of an Apology

_**Anatomy of an Apology**_

...OOO..._**  
**_

The castle was situated on a sequestered mountain side, its courtyard and terraces cut right into the rock. When Inuyasha had asked him why a lord of the west owned a castle so far east, Sesshomaru had explained that his mother had been from the east and that she had acquired the castle for use in her frequent visits. Within its gates, the grasses were tall and the gardens overgrown, but they still had yet to encroach upon the winding paths still clearly visible, and inside, everything was organized and orderly conveying the richness and glory it must once have displayed, despite the thick coating of dust.

Right away Kagome fell to cleaning the several large rooms he showed them on the higher floors that would serve for their use. At first, Kikyo froze in the corridor- it was dark and it reminded her too much of her dream, still vivid in her mind, making her uneasy. But she pushed it aside and opened several windows to let in the bright light that cast long rays on the floating dust moats, and borrowing a broom, she too began to sweep- anything to keep from thinking about last night...

At the sight of her with a broom, Sesshomaru frowned.

"That's not necessary," he told her.

"Huh?" she asked, looking up.

"Let the girl do it."

"Hey!" Kagome complained, overhearing. "I'm not a maid, you know!" And she had to fight very hard to suppress the urge to whack him over the head with her broom.

"It's alright," Kikyo interrupted, going back to her chore. "I don't mind."

He paused for a second to consider if he could order her to stop, then thought better of it and simply said, "Do what you like."

"Hey, wait," Inuyasha suddenly spoke. He had been standing in the hallway watching the two girls work, almost confused- he had almost forgotten why they were there in the first place. "Aren't you supposed to be telling us what happened with Nara-" His brother's warning glare stopped him.

"What?" he asked, even more confused, but Kagome caught the hint.

"Um, Inuyasha," she suggested. "Maybe you can fetch some water or something? You know- help out."

Inuyasha looked from one to the other and then at Kikyo who was doing her best to pretend to be oblivious, and he finally understood.

"Feh," he remarked. "If you didn't want to talk about it right now, you coulda just said so." Loping out the nearest window, he obediently went in search for a bucket and a well.

Sesshomaru stared after him for a minute once again wondering how they could ever be related, before turning around and- like any other civilized person- walking down the stairs.

Alone by themselves, neither girl spoke, trying to occupy their minds fully with their task.

But unable to stand the silence any longer Kagome finally voiced what she had been dying to say all afternoon, "Kikyo..."

Kikyo looked up, but did not respond. Kagome had stopped sweeping, trying to get the words out of her mouth.

"I... I wanted to say 'thank you'," she finally declared, and in a lower tone explained, "Inuyasha told me what you did- about my soul... and what happened in the mountain after Naraku... And I just wanted to say thanks."

Kikyo did not speak, but was staring into her eyes- not frowning or smiling, just simply trying to ascertain whether she was sincere or not.

It unnerved Kagome, so she added, "I know it must've been hard for you..."

At that Kikyo finally looked away and continued sweeping.

"It does not matter," she murmured.

Hard? she thought. It had not been that difficult- she already knew beforehand, before the situations ever presented themselves, what she would do. No. It had not been hard at all.

Giving her a small smile, Kagome also went back to cleaning.

If only the situation was a little different, she thought a little sadly to herself, she and Kikyo might have been really good friends. But life was tricky that way...

"Girl..." Kikyo's hesitant voice almost startled Kagome as she turned to see her. "How... how is Kaede doing?" It had been a long time since she last saw her little sister- though she supposed that was an odd thing to call her since Kaede looked old enough to be her grandmother now.

Pouncing happily on the subject, Kagome replied, "Oh, she's great- still fit as a fiddle."

_Fit as a fiddle? _Her reincarnation certainly spoke oddly enough.

But Kagome didn't notice the questioning glance and went on, "She's at the village with Shippo now- it's really cute how those two get along."

"Did you tell her about me?" and Kikyo wasn't the least sure which answer she wanted to hear.

Kagome froze, just as unsure what to tell her.

"Well..." she started. "I thought about it, but since you didn't come back to the village with us, I thought you might not have wanted her to know, so..."

"Hm..." In a way, Kikyo was relieved. She knew Kaede didn't think of her as her sister anymore- to her, the real Kikyo had died fifty years ago and that's where she stayed. But Kikyo could never quite help thinking about her younger sister. It was difficult to associate the old woman now with the little girl in her mind who had used to follow her around like a little puppy, always aiming to please her- not that it had been a difficult task- still, she knew they were one and the same and she had tried not to forget it.

"Kikyo," Kagome suddenly asked. "Why... why didn't you tell her or Inuyasha you were still alive?"

Kikyo stiffened. It was not the question, but the one who asked it that had surprised her. She spoke carefully, trying to find just the right words.

"I suppose I thought it would be easier on everyone to believe I was dead... I wasn't planning on staying alive much longer all the same."

"Um... so what happened to the Jewel? Didn't you get to make a wish?"

"No. I absorbed it into my body in order to use it to amplify my power to defeat Naraku. I suppose it's useless to wish on it now."

"Oh," Kagome replied. "So... so why don't you ask Sesshomaru then?"

Another surprise.

"Ask him what?"

"To use the Tenseiga... you know, to bring you back to life."

Honestly the thought had never entered Kikyo's mind, but with a small smile she answered, "Do you really think that will correct anything?"

Kagome was taken back, "Well, I suppose our... complicated situation won't change, but... but you're not really just going to give up, are you?"

"What would I be giving up?" she inquired, but seeing the other girl's inability to answer, she said, "But no. I will never ask, and he will never offer."

"Offer what?"

Whirling around, Kagome's eyes popped as she saw Sesshomaru ascending the stairs.

Of course, he had heard much of what they had said, but he was curious to see what Kikyo would respond.

But she only shrugged complacently and answered, "It does not matter."

They spent the rest of the afternoon laboring, but Kikyo found that despite how old the castle must be, everything was in good working order. She had even discovered that in many of the bedrooms, there were large trunks that still contained sleeping mats and sheets which, though apparently old, were quite in good condition. Of course, she didn't need them, and she doubted whether either brother would bother as well, but for the sake of decorum she laid them out anyway. It was something to do.

All day long she had been avoiding Inuyasha, skirting around him, refusing to meet his eyes, and she knew he was growing frustrated- he never did have the greatest patience. But she couldn't help it. The images of her magic induced dreams were still fresh in her mind- of him killing her. She knew it hadn't been real- that he would never do such a thing. She knew it.

But it did not to help.

_So long as I have nothing but this bit of soul that clings to my hatred for his betrayal, I know I can never truly forget it and move on. _

It was a sad thought. Logically she knew it was a false memory, but it was so tense and deeply ingrained, there was little she could do about it. It was beyond reasoning and since it was the single piece of her true self that she retained, she knew that in the end it would always win. It was one of the many reasons why she knew she and Inuyasha could never be...

Despite her best efforts, however, Inuyasha finally caught her.

"Kikyo, you promised to talk to me," he told her, and she knew it was pointless to avoid him any longer, so nodding a sign a of concession, she followed him out to the terrace.

The sun was already lowering itself into the horizon- dusk was upon them. Already some early fireflies had appeared, their mating signals flashing dimly in the fading light.

Kikyo gazed at him warily, but allowed him to speak first.

It was difficult for him to start with her eyes on him like that, but at last he asked, "So how are you?"

"Alright," she admitted, falling into the short talk. "And you?"

He sighed in vexation. This wasn't what he wanted, but he couldn't form into words the things he so desperately wanted to tell her.

Ultimately all he could say was, "Kikyo, I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?" she returned, keeping her voice cool and detached.

"For everything, ok?" he replied in exasperation. "I shouldn't have left you in that mountain, I should've searched harder, tried harder... I should've... I should've been able to protect you. I'm a failure, ok? There- does that make you happy?"

She eyed him levelly, "Why would your failure make me happy?"

Gah! Sometimes she was even more aggravating to talk to than Kagome, but he lowered his voice and apologized, "I'm sorry, Kikyo. I didn't mean to yell. It's just..." He didn't know what to say, so they fell into silence as she turned her face away to the setting sun.

After a while she finally broke it and inquired, "Tell me, Inuyasha, why do you feel you owe me so much protection?"

The question stunned him.

"Because I love you, that's why!" he replied, his voice rising again.

"Do you really?"

"YES! Why do you always have to question it? YES!"

"Why?"

It was a simple question- just one word, one common word. So why did it manage to knock the wind out of him? Why couldn't he answer?

"Because I do," he choked out. "Isn't that enough? I love you." Tears were stinging at his eyes again. "Don't you believe that?" She sighed wearily as he pulled her to him.

"What is love, Inuyasha?" she asked, resting her head against his shoulder, like a child asking a parent.

"It's this," he answered softly. It was the only answer he knew to give.

But with another sigh, she pulled away.

"Naraku says he loves me," she finally told him, turning her back to him. "Is that the same love of which you speak?"

"WHAT?" he cried out angrily. "Don't compare me to that bastard!"

"I'm sorry, Inuyasha..." her voice tilted lower to an almost inaudible whisper. "I just don't understand anything anymore." Too many things were reeling around in her mind, making her feel dizzy. "I'm... I'm tired."

He heard the heaviness in her voice, and he pulled her to him again, kissing her hair gently, "Kikyo, I'm sorry."

_Why must he always apologize? _she wondered sadly.

For a long while they stayed that way- his head on hers, hers on his shoulder, his arms around her. Then, disjoining herself from his embrace, she cast him a look, and he followed wordlessly as she returned to the castle.

Inside they separated and she sought out a secluded corner to think, but she didn't want to stay still, so instead she meandered the grounds, weaving in and out of old rambling gardens teeming with a profusion of flowers and foliage. It was a nice way to get lost and lose oneself.

Unfortunately she hadn't been paying attention to direction, and when night fell and she realized it was time to return, she found she really was lost.

Not knowing what else to do, she pushed forward.

...ooo...

Sesshomaru caught her scent on a passing breeze entwined with the perfume of the garden flowers. He wondered what she was still doing outside- she had been missing for several hours now. Deciding to investigate, he traced it through the maze of vegetation.

As her scent grew stronger, his pace quickened.

She's near, he thought.

But before he could go much further, another scent overpowered her faint one- the scent of another woman he knew quite well.

"Sesshomaru," Kagura greeted, dropping to her feet from the sky, smiling at the sight of him in spite of herself and her intentions.

"Kagura," he returned, a little surprised with her presence. "I didn't think I would see you again so soon."

"I..." the idea of lying to him had occurred to her several times, but in the end, she couldn't bring herself to do it.

Instead she walked wordlessly to him to wrap a hand around his neck and pulled him to her, engaging his reluctant lips with her needy ones in a long drawn out kiss.

He was too astounded to withstand the assault.

...ooo...

Kikyo felt his energy coming nearer.

_Sesshomaru..._ she thought smiling involuntarily at his name. Had he come for her? she wondered, but shook her head. It didn't matter, so she went to meet him following the pulse of his energy through the garden labyrinth.

But she stopped short, the smile disappearing to be replaced by a small 'o' of surprise.

Through a mesh of leaves and blossoms she saw them- his back to her, his hand on her arm which was wrapped around his neck.

Their lips locked in a passionate kiss...

...OOO...


	22. Echoes

**_Echoes_**

...OOO...

Every trace of an expression evaporated from Kikyo's face as she took in the scene in front of her. Noiselessly, she spun around and walked away, forcing her feet to tread as lightly as they could. But once she thought she was out of earshot, she did something she had never done before- she ran. She ran blindly through the confusion of greenery now darkened with the loss of the sun, not caring where she ended up so long as it was far away.

...ooo...

The almost inaudible rustle of fabric brushing against shrubbery caught Sesshomaru's attention, and readily his keen senses stood to attention, automatically searching his environment for a sign of the intruder. His nose distinguished her smell, previously muted by Kagura's- the smell of earth and bones.

Kikyo.

The sudden distraction broke him from his dumbfounded trance and finally realizing his situation, he forcefully shoved Kagura away. Tearing his lips away from hers, his hand flying to his face as if to protect it should she try again.

She staggered back, but rather than look hurt or insulted, she only smiled bitterly.

"Good-bye, Sesshomaru," she said softly before disappearing in a whirlwind of feathers, giving him no time to respond or interrogate. Whether or not Naraku kept his end of the bargain, she knew it was over between them- Sesshomaru would never forgive her for her betrayal.

He stared after her, frowning, his lips still burning from her fervent kiss. Leaving his lips, his hand reached to the back of his neck where he had felt her fingernails dig into his skin, and drawing it back, he was surprised she had not drawn blood.

What was she up to? he wondered in disconcertment.

_Good-bye?_

What did she mean? And how had she found him the first place? Had Naraku-

The name brought his attention back to focus on another-

Kikyo.

Sniffing the air for her scent, he followed it, apprehension rising inside of him when he found she was no longer in the garden.

...ooo...

Kagome looked up, surprised to see Kikyo as she barged through a mesh of flowering vines to stumble back into the courtyard. But upon seeing the dazed look on her face, her surprise was replaced with concern.

"Kikyo, are you alright?" she called.

Her eyes focused on Kagome, and she asked, "Girl, where is Inuyasha?"

"Inside..." Kagome answered, a little unnerved by her strange behavior. "Is something wrong?"

"No..." Kikyo regained her composure, but remained even more distant than she usually was. Turning to Kagome she asked, "Might I ask you a favor?"

"Uh, what is it?" Kagome asked reluctantly, afraid that she might make a snide remark.

But instead Kikyo merely petitioned, "Will you keep Inuyasha here with you? Do not allow him to follow me. Understand?"

Shocked, Kagome stammered, "W-what? Where are you going?"

"I must leave," Kikyo answered hurriedly and without waiting any further, she gathered her soul collectors and they spirited her away into the night.

Kagome gazed after her in horror and perplexity.

_What should I do, what should I do, what should I do?_

Should she get Inuyasha, she wondered. Should they follow her? But she had ordered her not to. Overwhelmed, she instead just stood rooted to the spot.

...ooo...

_I'm such a fool!_ _How could I have trusted him? All along he was in league with her- with Naraku! _

Or was it simply him and Kagura? Had he been playing her to his own advantage all along?

_Why else would he have troubled himself with me all this time?_ she wondered.

But more than anyone else, she was angry with herself.

_How could I have been so stupid as to not see it? How could I have fallen for such a deception? _

Or was she simply angered because of the kiss?

Shaking her head vehemently, she answered, no. Why would she be? He was free to do as he pleased- it did not concern her. Not except that it was Kagura- one of Naraku's underlings.

_It was a mistake, _she decided. _Once again, I let my weakness overcome me and allowed my dependency on another to blind myself to the truth. _

She looked back over her shoulder at the mountain on the other side of which was the castle.

_No. It's better that I do this on my own..._

At least when you were alone, you never had doubts about trusting others...

...ooo...

Kagome was still mulling over what to do with Kikyo's sudden departure when Sesshomaru stumbled through the same opening Kikyo had earlier made and scared her from her concentration.

He had followed her scent through the winding trails of the garden, but upon exiting into the courtyard, he found only a dumbfounded Kagome gaping at him.

"Girl," he said hurriedly, "Where is she? Where is the priestess?"

Perceiving the dangerous edge to his voice, Kagome took a quick step back.

"I- I don't know."

"Don't toy with me," he berated harshly. "I know she was here. Which way did she go?"

"I don't know!" Kagome yelled and blurted. "She came out of that garden and just left- I don't know where she went, okay?"

She was angry now- somehow she knew that whatever had upset Kikyo had to do with him, and when Kagome was angry, her fear took a back seat.

"What'd you do to her anyway?" she demanded.

Sesshomaru shot her a quick glance, "What do you mean?"

"She came out here looking all upset- what'd you do?"

But instead of answering he ordered, "Where did she go?"

"I don't know!" Kagome repeated. "She said she was leaving."

And before she had a chance to say anymore- though there was nothing more to say- Sesshomaru leaped into the air, angry and worried at the same time at her sudden disappearance.

_That woman- what the hell is she thinking? _Leaving the palace, leaving his protection, going out by herself without telling anyone of her intentions...

'_She does get under one's skin, doesn't she?' _Naraku's voice echoed in his mind, causing him to land suddenly.

Scanning his surroundings for a sign of the phantom, he demanded, "Naraku- show yourself."

'_If you want to see me,' _he answered, _'I suggest you look inside.' _And Naraku's dark visage flashed into his thoughts.

'_You bastard,'_ Sesshomaru seethed inwardly. Now he understood Kagura's visit...

Smiling malignantly, Naraku teased, _'And did we have fun with dear Kagura? You _certainly _seemed to have enjoyed that kiss... or so Kikyo thinks anyway.'_

_Kikyo? She had seen?_

'_Or would you like to ask her for yourself?' _the voice prodded.

And without his willing it to, Sesshomaru's body once again launched itself into the darkening sky.

Staggered, he could only watch perplexed as the land fell away from him.

'_What the hell do you think you're doing?'_

'_You'll see,' _Naraku assured him soothingly. _'You'll see...'_

...ooo...

They found her in the valley on the opposite of the lee of the mountain, the strong steady winds whipping through the folds of her clothing, seemingly about to sweep her away, playing havoc with her hair.

'_Ah, at last,' _Naraku smiled pleasantly at her sight.

_So he is after Kikyo, _Sesshomaru thought. _But why does he need my body?_

She tensed when she sensed him land behind her.

"What do you want?" she asked coldly, turning to face him.

Only to be met with the razor edge of his sword as it tore through fabric and artificial skin.

She tottered back, her eyes growing wide with disbelief.

"Se...Sesshomaru?"

Inside, Sesshomaru grimaced at the sound of his name.

'_Don't bother resisting,' _Naraku told him. _'You can't save her.'_

'_What do you want with her?' _Sesshomaru interrogated coldly, trying to maintain his calm despite his flaring anger. How dare this bastard use his body to harm her?

'_The same as you,'_ he replied. _'I want her.'_

It was a baiting question- admit or deny- but Sesshomaru refused to respond, so Naraku continued, _'We are not so different, after all, Sesshomaru. She infuriates you, doesn't she? Her and her senseless ways. And yet you can do nothing about it, because she forces you to hate her and love her all at once- making you question the validity of your own nature and character- making you weak.'_

'_Hm,' _the condescension in his reply was clear. _'How pathetic- the great evil Naraku afraid of a mere woman. Is that why you wish to get rid of her? To rid yourself of your own weakness?'_

But Naraku only laughed.

'_Oh, no. At first I thought that was the solution, but now I've learned- what I want is not her life, what I want is her love- that love which she bestowed upon your worthless brother; that love which would not allow her to abandon a vile dying bandit; that love which forces her to follow a path to her own self-destruction over and over again; that all consuming love with the power to redeem the tainted soul of a saint. That is what I am after._

'_You are a fool,' _Sesshomaru scorned severely. _'You believe her death will obtain you this 'love'?'_

'_Not her death- her anguish. The anguish that will break her when she is once again betrayed by the man she thought she loved.'_

The revelation jarred Sesshomaru in more ways than one- the man she loved?

'_Tell me, Sesshomaru,' _Naraku questioned. _'Last time she only bound Inuyasha to slumber, but do you believe she will be as merciful with you?'_

He scowled but he was helpless to do anything but watch as his own arm raised his sword again and brought it down, slicing another course through her body, causing her to drop to her knees, causing the old buried emotions of fifty years ago to rise and spill in the place of the blood she could no longer shed.

"Why?" she whispered feebly, a sound almost lost to the wailing of the wind.

Inside she could feel it- the throbbing darkness loosening from its confines, trying to break free, trying to overcome her... and she was too weak to keep it back. To weak to even think to. It pulsed through her, breathing fire into her empty veins, rising to the surface.

Ignoring the wounds she sustained, she pushed herself to her feet and took several unstable steps forward.

"You...I trusted you... WHY?" she demanded, her voice fraught with anger and hatred.

Naraku held off the sword, allowing her to stumble to him as Sesshomaru watched silently, willing himself with all his might to look her straight in the eyes.

And the anger subsided into utter surprise.

_It's... it's not him. _The small voice gasped within her, and she understood, and it renewed her anger, but it was not the same kind.

"You bastard!" she yelled. "I'm the one you want- leave him alone!"

Her hands shot to his shoulders as a wave of her purifying energy emanated from her palms and flowed into his body, overwhelming him and engulfing his mind.

And then it fizzled.

He slumped into her arms, catching himself on the back of her torn haori, his sharp claws digging into her skin. But she didn't cry out as she caught him in her arms.

And unable to support her own weight, let alone his, she dropped to her knees still holding on to him.

"How?" he breathed into her ear. "How did you know?"

She smiled weakly as they collapsed completely on to the long grass.

"No matter how much you might hate an enemy, you would never attack one from behind... Your eyes told me so."

He had to smile back- she understood him.

"Is he gone?" he asked.

"Not completely. I couldn't destroy him without destroying you."

"Why didn't you?"

"Did you believe I would?"

It was a question which needed no answer- of course he didn't.

For several silent minutes they laid like that- him slightly on top of her, both completely paralyzed: she from the wounds he had unwittingly inflicted, him from her energy which had almost purified him.

Then he spoke, "You protected him, didn't you?"

"Naraku?" she asked, bewildered.

"Inuyasha."

"I don't understand."

"About fifty years ago, I waged war with a tribe of panther demons seeking revenge for a defeat my father handed them years earlier. Their forces were many, while mine were few. Fearing the worst, Jaken went in search of Inuyasha for his aid, but instead found him asleep and bound to a tree. He brought me this news, and after the war, I went to see for myself. Sure enough there was the little fool- an arrow protruding from his heart. But when I tried to remove the arrow, it repelled my touch. Angry that anyone who shared my blood should fall into a such a situation, I sought to end his life, but when I tried I was once again resisted by a powerful barrier. When I learned of how he came to be, I could not help but wonder why anyone who sought to slay him could also wish to preserve him."

"Because I loved him," she answered without hesitation. "When I thought he had betrayed me, my hatred for him knew no bounds, but I still could not... my love would not allow it."

They fell back into silence.

Then he asked, "Why did you love him?"

"Because he needed my love, and I needed his. We understood the loneliness in each other and succumb to the temptation... we were weak back then."

"And now?"

"Now... now he does not need me anymore- he is no longer lonely."

"And you?"

"Would it matter if I was?"

He did not answer but remarked, "He still loves you."

"Perhaps... or perhaps we were mistaken. I do not doubt we care deeply for one another, but love comes in many ways. Perhaps we simply misunderstood."

All around the, thunder rolled, heralding the storm which had been rapidly brewing since late that afternoon.

"We should move," she observed as fat drops of rain pelted them, washing away the last of her anger.

"Hm," he conceded. But if only it were that easy.

With the little strength he had, he shifted enough to see her profile, her eyes closed against the onslaught of water.

The smell of rain and wet earth infused with her own scent invaded his nostrils, and he wondered when the smell of death had ceased to repulse him before closing his eyes to surrender to sleep, the image of her dragons floating into his dreams.

...ooo...

It was Inuyasha who found them.

...OOO...


	23. Compliments

_**Compliments**_

...OOO...

A small gasp of surprise escaped Inuyasha when he beheld them together- her torn, both unmoving.

"Sesshomaru?" the name was small on his mouth, but as realization set in, so did panic as he distinguished the form underneath his brother. "KIKYO!" Instantly he dropped to his knees beside them.

Sesshomaru opened his eyes, glancing up and perceiving Inuyasha, then the unconscious Kikyo under his arm. Sometime earlier he had absently drawn her closer to himself, trying to shield her from the falling rain. It was a vain attempt- they were both completely soaked through.

"Inuyasha," he greeted without emotion.

"What the hell happened to you?" Inuyasha cried, completely bewildered by the situation- unsure who to be angry at.

But it took only one word from Sesshomaru to set him straight, "Naraku."

"That- that bastard!" Inuyasha fumed. "What happened?"

"Not now, Inuyasha," his brother answered, motioning towards the woman. "Take her," he instructed, removing his arm.

Inuyasha obeyed, scooping her into his arms, but paused momentarily, "What about you?"

"I'll be alright. I'll see you in the morning," he returned not looking at them. Something about the sight irked him, though he did not show it.

"Oh...ok," Inuyasha conceded, but hesitated. "Are you sure you don't need...help?"

Sesshomaru growled angrily, "Yes."

"Feh," his younger brother replied, "be that way, you stubborn bastard." and took off towards the castle.

...ooo...

As soon as he touched down, Kagome came rushing up to him.

"Oh my god! What happened?" she shrieked, seeing Kikyo's torn body in his arms.

The noise awoke Kikyo momentarily, her bleary eyes opening to see them staring down at her.

"Where is Sesshomaru?" she asked, her voice hoarse.

"What happened?" Inuyasha questioned.

Smiling thinly she replied, "He... he saved me," before slipping back into unconsciousness.

"What?" Kagome was confused. "What happened, Inuyasha?"

But he couldn't answer- he wasn't sure either.

They brought her upstairs to one of the rooms they had prepared earlier and laid her down on the sleeping mats, keeping the windows open so that her soul collectors could have access to her.

"Kagome, stay here, ok?" Inuyasha admonished, and she looked up confused as he made for one of the windows.

"What? Where are you going?"

But all he said was, "I'll be back, alright? Just keep her safe."

And then he was gone.

...ooo...

Sesshomaru had fallen back into slumber when he felt something tugging at him to rise.

Opening his eyes, he once again saw Inuyasha pulling him to his feet.

"What are you doing?" he demanded.

"Come off it, Sesshomaru," Inuyasha scoffed as he threw his brother's arm around his neck and held on, while his other hand grasp at his side for support. "You're not safe out here- you didn't even feel me comin'. Now can you walk?"

Summoning up the bit of strength that had returned to him, Sesshomaru climbed to his feet leaning heavily on Inuyasha's shoulder.

_Wow, _Inuyasha mused, noticing his brother's labored breathing. _He really took a beating._

"What happened?" he asked again quietly as they trudged back around the mountain.

Sesshomaru wasn't sure how to explain the events of that night, so instead he asked, "Where is the priestess?"

"Back in the castle- she's safe... Sesshomaru..." Inuyasha hesitated. "She said you saved her. From who? Naraku?"

_Saved her? _He thought it had been the other way around.

Finally he explained, "He tried to use my body to kill her."

"WHAT?" Inuyasha nearly dropped him.

"She used her power to cleanse him from me, but he's not dead yet... He'll return- he's adamant about getting her."

"What does he want with her, anyway? Revenge?"

"No. He says he simply wants her."

"That bastard," Inuyasha seethed silently. "After all the hell he's put her through, now this?"

For a while they fell into contemplative silence.

Then Inuyasha said, "Sesshomaru... thanks- for looking out for her. I know you're not the biggest fan of humans, but... thanks."

"Hm," he answered stonily. "Don't misinterpret my intentions, Inuyasha- I simply refused to be used by Naraku. It has nothing to do with that human or yourself."

"Feh," Inuyasha grumbled just as stubbornly. "Whatever, you jerk." He had to turn away, however, to hide the half smile on his face.

Sesshomaru sensed it anyway, but pretended otherwise.

...ooo...

Kikyo awoke the next day bathed in late morning sunlight streaming in from the east window, and it took her a moment to realize where she was- back in Sesshomaru's castle.

"Good morning," Kagome called cheerfully, kneeling beside her. "How do you feel?"

Pushing herself up to a sitting position, Kikyo was surprised to find herself wearing only undergarments.

At her confused expression, Kagome explained, "When Inuyasha brought you back last night, you were soaking wet, so I took off your clothes. They're hanging out to dry right now, but your haori is pretty torn- I don't think it's very wearable anymore. Anyway, Sesshomaru got this for you to wear until they're dry and mended." And she handed her a pile of neatly folded clothing made of rich silks.

But Kikyo pushed them away stammering, "No, I couldn't possibly... These clothes are meant for a noblewoman, they... they won't do a priestess."

"Aw, come on," Kagome prodded. "What do you expect to do? Prance around all day in your underwear? Or would you like to borrow some of my clothes?"

At the thought of donning on one of Kagome's skimpy outfits, Kikyo finally accepted the clothes.

"I'll leave you to get dressed," Kagome declared, rising to her feet. She was making her way to the door when Kikyo stopped her.

"Where is Sesshomaru?"

"Out on the main balcony," she told her. "That guy sure recovers fast- he's been out there since little past dawn."

When she was gone, Kikyo slipped on the beautiful printed kimono- black with flowers threaded in silver- tying it as securely as she knew how, and left her hair loose. It felt odd to be dressed in such fineries, and when she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, she barely recognized her reflection. For so long now she had worn nothing but her priestess garb that they had become almost a part of her, as essential as any other of her physical features.

Shyly, she peeked out into the hallway, making sure no one was around before she stepped out. She knew they were only clothes, but the kimono made her feel awkward...

From an open window at the end of the corridor, Kagome's and Inuyasha's voices floated up to her, laughing and arguing in pretended annoyance. Quickly she retreated from it, seeking the stairs which lead to the upper balcony.

Finding them, she ascended to see Sesshomaru's back, his long hair swaying gently in the breeze, glinting in the sunlight. He was turned away from the entrance, staring off into the distant lands, but she knew he sensed her.

"Sesshomaru..." She took a few uncertain steps forward, her clothes making her feel self-conscious of her every movement.

At the sound of her voice, he rotated slightly to see her, eyeing her up and down in the clothes he had provided approvingly, but when his scrutiny made her step back, he asked, "Do they not suit you?"

"Well, no," she stammered, then catching herself, she explained. "That is... I am not used to wearing such... regal attire... It is very beautiful," she admitted. "How did you manage to acquire them?"

Averting his gaze back to the land, he responded cooly, "They were my mother's..."

"Oh," she gasped silently.

"It matters not," he continued. "She hasn't been able to wear them for centuries now... I'm surprised they are still in tact after so long."

They dropped into an odd silence, both wondering why they were talking about clothing.

Then she said, "About last night... I see you've recovered."

"Far from it," he told her and smirking slightly, added, "I suppose one can never fully appreciate power until one has been made to feel it."

Flustered, she apologized, "I'm sorry- I didn't-" But he cut her off.

"Don't apologize for your actions. You did only what needed to be done- that is what is important."

Another moment of quiet fell, before she asked, "Sesshomaru, do you know how Naraku managed to use you?"

In response he drew his hair away from his neck, exposing a smudged marking left behind by the spider that she had ejected with her power.

"Kagura paid me a visit last night."

"So I saw," she replied dryly, the image of their kiss flashing in her mind.

"If you saw, you could have interrupted."

"Why would I? You're free to do as you pleased- it is your castle."

"Oh?" he asked, provoked by her indifference. "Then why did you suddenly decide to rush off?"

Crossing her arms, she replied, "It might be your castle, but I am still free to leave when I choose, am I not?"

"No," he stated. "You are not."

"Oh?" she challenged. "You'd stop me?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I can," he answered obstinately.

Laughing, she commented, "Before, I always wondered how you and Inuyasha could be related, but now I see- you're both as stubborn as the other."

He frowned at the mention of his brother's name, but she didn't heed it and approached closer.

Unfortunately, unused to the length of her clothes, she tripped on the hem and fell forward, crashing into him as he moved to catch her.

"Clumsy," he muttered, as she looked up to see him, then hurriedly pushed herself away.

"I'm sorry," she murmured. "I'm not used to moving in these..."

"Hm. They fit you well enough," he observed flatly turning away to descend the stairs.

She stared after him. _Was that meant as a compliment? _

...ooo...

Having stalked off away from Inuyasha, Kagome was muttering something darkly under her breath about him being and insensitive jerk, when she happened to glance up to see Sesshomaru and Kikyo talking on the balcony.

Right away her expression softened.

_Those two make such a cute couple,_ she thought as she watched Kikyo laugh and then fall into his arms. Then of course, they pushed away from one another and Sesshomaru left. _If only Sesshomaru wasn't such a cold hearted jerk_...

At first Kagome was tempted to put her matchmaking skills to the test- after all, she had finally convinced Sango and Miroku to get together, hadn't she? But she held back. No- this was one couple even she dared not mess with.

_It's too bad... if Kikyo got together with Sesshomaru... well, that would certainly make our complicated situation less complicated... providing Inuyasha is convinced to let her go, at least..._

She frowned, lost in the thought. But that was the problem- Inuyasha would never let Kikyo go...

...OOO...


	24. Shadows

_**Shadows**_

...OOO...

Naraku shuffled down the darkened corridors of Kikyo's mind, frowning to himself.

Something wasn't right...

Before, even in her waking hours, he had been able to discern her feelings, if not so much her thought. He had been able to poke around all the rooms and recesses, all the forgotten memories as well as all those she held close. Her entire subconscious had been his to explore... but now... It wasn't so much that he was no longer free to wander as he pleased, but now all the doors lead to nothingness, unlit voids that bore no resemblance to their former states.

And there was something else, as well- something he could not quite fathom.

Since the night before, he had felt another presence in her mind, flitting from shadow to shadow, only making itself known enough to make him feel uneasy, but never enough for him to discern who or what it was.

Kikyo was awake- he knew that it was not her. It couldn't be...

But who else could it possibly be?

...ooo...

Sheesh, but Kagome was moody. One minute she and Inuyasha were talking about this or that and he just happened to mention how well Kikyo was looking and why, if she was her reincarnation, didn't Kagome manage to do the same? It was a legitimate question, but instead of an answer all he received was a round of sits before she stalked off.

"Women..." he muttered irately, picking himself up and dusting himself off. _Well, no time for that_, he thought to himself. Kikyo was finally awake, and he bounded off, eager to find and talk to her.

On his way up the main balcony, he ran into Sesshomaru who regarded him with one cold, distasteful stare before moving on.

_What does she in this half-breed? _Sesshomaru was wondering, but Inuyasha paid no heed, jumping over his brother and the last several steps to land on the balcony.

Kikyo was standing at the opposite end, her body turned sideways, one hand on the railing while her gaze seemed to be lost to the panoramic scenery the height of the balcony offered. The cool morning breeze blew strands of hair in her face as she pivoted to see him, and he had to freeze- the contrast of porcelain skin and black silken hair and kimono taking his breath away.

She smiled, "Inuyasha."

The sound of her voice coupled with her smile put him into a rigid state of wonderment.

When was the last time she had smiled like that to him? More than half a century ago...

With cautious steps he approached her, afraid that a single missed movement would erase that smile.

"Kikyo... you look- I mean, you're..." Inuyasha stuttered, his tongue not quite able to grasp the right words. He stopped himself, scared of making her angry, but her smile remained, reassuring him. Finally he returned it softly and said, "Hi."

_That smile..._ _It's just like the old Kikyo... _

Just like his Kikyo.

"You look well," he commented. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Yes," she answered. "Thank you... and for last night, as well."

"Feh, it was nothing." Bashfully he looked away, and she gave a small chuckle- another sound his ears had not heard for so long.

Giving her a sideways glance, he wondered what had happened to make her so... happy, but he quickly shrugged it off. So long as she was happy, what did it matter why? He had come to ask her more questions about Naraku and the happenings of last night, but seeing her so at peace, he couldn't bring himself to break it, so instead they sank into an amiable silence lasting several minutes, until at last she broke it.

"Inuyasha..." her voice was tiny and hesitant, the smile replaced by a slight hint of a worried frown.

"Hm?"

She wanted to say it- wanted to tell him... tell him what? That she still loved him? Or that they could not be together? _Should_ not be together. It was wrong, she thought. They shouldn't tease themselves with these encounters because in the end it would only make it harder to part permanently... but it was so nice- this moment free of tension and worries, a little peaceful island in a sea of storms... It reminded her of how it used to be, how _they _used to be. Before everything happened. Before they died...

_Where did we go wrong? _she wondered mournfully.

Aloud she murmured, "It's nothing..." _Would it be so inappropriate to pretend we were still the same? _It was a tempting proposition... but she knew it was one they could not take.

He glanced at her, aware of the sudden change in her mood.

"Is something wrong?"

With a half-hearted smile she replied, "No."

_What happened? _He frowned. _What'd I do wrong?_

He reached down and lifted her face to him, studying her eyes for the cause, but they had reverted back to their usual melancholy self. Even still, they drew him to her, his heart aching, wanting nothing more than to make them shine again.

Slowly he leaned down to kiss her. She didn't try to stop him, her eyes instinctively closing as her lips readied to receive his. They brushed gently, almost imperceptibly against one another.

_Nothing... still nothing..._

Without warning her head throbbed painfully, faint at first and then growing fiercer as their kiss deepened.

"Ungh!" She pushed away from him violently, grabbing her pounding head with both hands.

"Kikyo?" at first he was puzzled, then seeing the distress so apparent on her features, he cried, "Kikyo!"

She tried to respond, but the agony was too much, cutting off her breath as her entire mind came to focus solely upon the pain.

Panic overtook him and he reached for her quivering body, now kneeling prostate on the ground, "KIKYO! What's wrong?"

"STAY AWAY!" she screamed, recoiling from his touch, the force of her voice echoing off the mountain.

Hearing the scream, Sesshomaru instantly returned to the balcony, the disconcerting scene meeting him.

Angrily he whirled around to face his dumbfounded brother, "Inuyasha! What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything!" Inuyasha returned, just as angry at the insinuation.

And simultaneously they felt it- the angry pulsations of dark energy convulsing through her as Kikyo ground the palm of her hands into her ears, trying to drown out the furious voice hissing in her head.

"Go away, go away, go away," she chanted, gritting her teeth against the flaming spasms.

"What the heck happened here?" Kagome cried, crashing into the scene, and automatically Inuyasha shot out his arm to warn her back, eyeing Kikyo apprehensively.

"Stay back, Kagome!" he ordered.

With practiced smoothness, Sesshomaru drew his sword and advanced toward Kikyo.

"Sesshomaru!" Inuyasha cried, seeing his actions. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Ignoring him, Sesshomaru towered above her seemingly oblivious figure.

"Kikyo."

For a brief second the pain abated as his voice hit her but returned even more furiously- as if angered at having been interrupted. She shrieked at the onslaught but her scream was smothered by a shroud of dark shadow energy swirling around her and engulfing her in an orb of black. Sesshomaru raised his sword to guard himself from the wave of invisible power that pushed him back.

As the dust settled, Inuyasha raised his eyes and there, in the spot where Kikyo had been, stood a figure rippling in the breeze.

His eyes grew wide and he could barely whisper out, "K...Kikyo?"

It was her. Or rather, it had her shape- like a silhouette of the real Kikyo in her priestess clothes, all black except for the glaring eyes of white and the red flares emanating all around. Above them the sky had gone black as well, reflecting the scene below.

"At last," it declared in ominous pleasantness, a voice that was Kikyo's but wasn't, "At last I'm free."

"Who are you and what have you done with Kikyo?" Inuyasha demanded.

Her glaring white eyes came to rest on him, and he could not help but take a step back as she answered, "Why, Inuyasha, don't you recognize me? You really should- after all, you're the one who created me." With abnormal speed and agility she rushed for him, and he barely escaped, jumping back as her fist impounded the ground where he had been standing, splintering a wide parameter of the wooden balcony.

"Kikyo, stop!" he pleaded, as he dodged blow after blow, but the entreaty only seemed to fuel her anger. Launching herself into the air, she dove for him and once again he barely avoided becoming part of the crater of splintered wood. Before he could land however, she threw herself at him, catching him in the stomach and sending him crashing into the wall.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome exclaimed, "She's not real! Use Tetsusaiga!"

"I- I can't," he replied, coughing up blood as he staggered back to his feet.

"Hmph," the shadow Kikyo scorned. "You coward. You refuse to raise your sword against me now, and yet you have the nerve to strike me from behind!" In the blink of an eye she was on top of him, hammering him down into the floor then kicking him away in disgust.

Kagome ran to kneel beside him, "Inuyasha!"

He looked up at her blurry image, his eyes black, and whispered, "It wasn't... it wasn't me."

"LIAR!" the shadow yelled, enraged. "How dare you try to deny it!"

"But it wasn't him!" Kagome shot back, but gulped in fear as the shadow Kikyo turned her seething focus on her.

"Typical that his whore should have such sentiments," she replied more to herself than to Kagome. "You hate me- have always hated me! You took everything from me, and when there was nothing left, you wished me dead. But we shall see who dies." A bow shaped itself in her hand as she stretched out one arm, drawing the arrow that formed in place, and aimed it point blank at Kagome and Inuyasha. "I did nothing wrong," she persisted hatefully. "It should have been you who died- you! But I will make sure this time- this time no amount of mercy shall save you both from the hell where you belong."

Kagome shut her eyes in preparation for the pain, clinging to Inuyasha desperately. The shadow released the arrow and a blinding flash of light washed over them... but the pain never came.

Cautiously she opened one eye and was surprised to see Sesshomaru standing in front of her and Inuyasha, his sword raised in defense.

He had been standing to the side, trying to make sense of the unraveling events, but when he saw that she was intent on killing Inuyasha and the girl, he stepped in.

_The darkness that she feared, _he thought piecing it together. _So this is it..._

"You," the shadow proclaimed in amused mockery. "I should have known- you betrayed me for that witch and here you betray me for these cowering insects."

"I will only ask you once," he said steadily, ignoring her comment. "Release the priestess."

"And if I don't?"

"Then you shall taste the edge of my blade. Do not think I am as Inuyasha- I will not hesitate to strike." And to prove his point, he slashed at the image, but she evaded it easily, hopping backwards to the edge of the balcony as he pursued her. She scowled as Tokijen crashed down once more on the spot where she had been.

"If you are so insistent to die first, then so be it," she said, leaping over the railing and into the air. Another ball of shadow enveloped her, growing larger and larger, assimilating into her body enlarging her form until she was as large as the castle itself.

"Now DIE!"

Her hand smashed into the balcony, causing it to collapse but sparing the thin ledge closest to the castle where Kagome and Inuyasha were, and where Sesshomaru jumped to.

Inuyasha forced himself to his feet, keeping Kagome behind him. He no longer knew if he could even protect her- his strength was gone, and he was driven now only by sheer desperation. At last he drew Tetsusaiga.

_I'm sorry, Kikyo... _

Sesshomaru watched him out of the corners of his eyes, knowing whatever attempt his brother would make would be futile. If he did nothing soon, he and the girl would end up dead for certain, and Sesshomaru was not too sure of his chances either. Never in his long life had he ever come across anything such as this- a vengeful shadow whose only goal was destruction. It was the accumulation of all the bitterness that was too inevitable in human nature, but which Kikyo had tried to overcome. With no other part of her soul to keep it in check, however, it had finally broken loose, determined to devour that which it coveted but was always denied- life.

Inuyasha staggered forward, but Sesshomaru stopped him.

"Stand back, Inuyasha," he ordered, launching himself at the phantom tp distract her attention.

She whirled after him, sweeping an arm to demolish the remainder of the balcony and much of that side of the castle.

With all the strength he could muster, Inuyasha barely had enough to escape with Kagome, but they managed to land safely in the courtyard, momentarily forgotten as the shadow Kikyo moved for Sesshomaru who landed in the grassy field just beyond the mountain base.

He had to do it...

"Se...Sesshomaru..." His head jolted up to the sound of Kikyo's weakened voice and he saw her- just a passing glance, but he saw her underneath the dark matter.

The shadow stopped in her tracks.

"Pathetic creature," she murmured to herself. "I will not allow you to interfere this time." Reaching into herself, she pulled out Kikyo's body, conspicuously white against the dark hand.

"You will succumb!" It ordered.

"Nn... never," Kikyo answered, wincing from the tight grip. "You are not who I am- I've fought and conquered you once, I can do so again."

At that, the shadow laughed harshly, "No- you've got it turned around. I am you- the only reason for your existence. You think you can deny me, but you only deny yourself. You are nothing more than a doll sculpted from clay. I am the real Kikyo, and you shall relinquish power to me!" She squeezed Kikyo's body tighter and tighter, reabsorbing her into the darkness.

"No! STOP!" Kikyo screamed, but even as she said it, she was drowning into the shadow.

Down below, Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed into dangerous slits.

"Kikyo..." the silent, agonized cry issued from his mouth, and something within him reacted.

His blood coursed through him like liquid fire, and his eyes flashed red. The pelt around his arm unwrapped itself, entwining around him as his hair raised with electricity.

The wraith glowered at him, her eyes burning brighter as she sensed his energy raise.

Sesshomaru stood before her no longer in his human form, but as a pure white dog demon as large a herself, his crimson eyes gleaming with deadly menace. Readying himself to attack, he let out a low growl in warning.

She only laughed, "Pathetic fool. So eager to die... Well, you shall have it!"

And they charged at one another.

...OOO...


	25. Better Left Unsaid

_**Better Left Unsaid**_

...OOO...

"Are you searching for me, Naraku?" Her voice entered his ears, dry and dead.

He spun around to face her but was surprised by her sight, "Kikyo?"

She stood- or rather floated before him, dressed not in her familiar priestess garb but in a long, flowing shroud held tight at her breast by one ghostlike hand. It was black, blending with the rest of her mind so that her image seemed almost nothing more than her upper bust interrupted by strands of ebony hair.

"Do I surprise you?" she asked in the same toneless manner, gliding closer.

_Something isn't right..._ Again a strange sort of dread descended upon Naraku.

"You're not asleep," he stated plainly.

And she answered just as simply, "No."

Hi eyes narrowed, "What are you?"

"Your beloved- am I not?" The words amazed and mesmerized him and he stood still as she came to him, her hand gliding up his chest and around his neck, pulling him down to her as she whispered, "Come closer, Naraku. This is what you wanted, is it not?"

Confusion overcame him- something was not right.

But she continued to assure him soothingly as tentacles of energy sprouted from her shroud, wrapping themselves around him and forcing him to sink into her, "We can be together now just as you wanted. Always..."

At first he could not, did not resist, unable to fathom her actions, but as he plunged deeper and deeper into her- into her shroud- he felt it- the black hole of a void pulling at him- and in angry disgust he thrust her away.

She fell backwards and sneered at his scalding glare.

"So you noticed," she commented, her voice no longer dull but mocking. "It's too bad- it would have been so much easier for the both of us if you had only went along."

"What the hell are you?" he demanded.

"I am surprised you do not recognize the object of your own affections," she replied, picking herself up.

His answer came out flat but sure, "You are not Kikyo."

"But I am," she sneered. "The true Kikyo. The only Kikyo. And I must thank you for exposing the lies and deceits I have suffered and freeing me from the confines of that dead body."

"What have you done to her?" he snarled.

"You mean this?" she asked innocently. Her other hand appeared from the folds of her cloak, entangled in the long hair of a twin image.

"Kikyo!"

"Hmph," she scoffed. "This worthless doll tried to imprison her own nature." Her face twisted in rage at the thought, and she flung the body away from her, "How I despise it. But no matter- it will break soon, and I shall no more have need to keep such a useless artifact... You, however," she smirked, turning back to Naraku. "You have something that belongs to me."

A look of surprise formed on Naraku's face as she vanished and reappeared only a second later behind him, her arms wrapped around his shoulders in a vicelike grip.

"Don't resist," she hissed into his ear. "Be proud- I am your creation. It was because of you that I was born. Now feel the hatred which you inspired," she ordered. Once again the shroud around her coiled around him, holding him in place as her hands shrank beneath the surface of his body. "You of all people should be able to appreciate the works of your own design."

He was stunned.

He was the cause of this atrocity? This abomination?

...ooo...

Sesshomaru lunged for the shadow, but his fangs snapped at nothing but air as she scraped past him. Using her bow as a staff, she warded off his attacks while doling out her own as they collided and repelled one another again and again.

"Is this the best the great demon lord has to offer?" she smirked, seemingly unscathed by any of his efforts even as he bled from several lash marks.

Growling angrily he made for her again and this time caught her securely by the shoulder, his fangs sinking deeply in the odd flesh as he pinned her against the nearby mountain.

From somewhere deep within the shadow, a cry issued forth, small and weak but unmistakable in his ears.

_Kikyo!_

Instantly, he backed away.

She laughed at his apparent surprise and vexation, her arm sculpting itself good as new.

"Do you understand now?" she asked. "No matter how much damage you inflict upon _this _body, it is only that shell inside of me which suffers."

...ooo...

"Where is it, where is it?" Her hands dug deeper and deeper into Naraku, probing him for the coveted object, and growing angrier by the minute as it continued to elude her grasp. "You think you can conceal it from me?" she accused. "I never took you for a fool, Naraku, but if you refuse to return it to me, then I will simply have to take you- all of you."

The tendrils of dark matter around him elongated and grew, swallowing him into its depths as it crept up his body.

_What is this woman? _He wondered. _What is this energy she exudes? _He could no longer deny it- she hadn't been lying. This was in fact Kikyo.

_But how? How did she warp into something such as this...this abysmal hole of unreasonable hatred? _Even for him, it was beyondcomprehension. Never before had he felt such a force of pure malice.

"Ungh."

Suddenly her head snapped up, broken from its concentration by the pained groaning of the body which she had discarded.

Seizing the opportunity of her distraction, Naraku acted quickly to summon a confusion of razor sharp hooks to grow from his body and repel her. Her eyes widened in surprise and then glared at him in fury.

"Bastard," she spat as he held her aloft in his own tentacles. "Your pathetic power is useless against me."

Somewhere behind him the other Kikyo murmured softly, "Sesshomaru..."

...ooo...

Sesshomaru winced as the stinging bow slashed at his side. It had nearly missed, but he was too distracted by the sound of his name to dodge it enough. Kikyo was definitely inside that shadow somewhere, but if he tried to attack, he would only harm her. How was he to free her? He wondered.

Sensing his reservations, the shadow Kikyo sneered, "You've gone soft, Sesshomaru. Weakened by a mere woman- how pathetic. Just like your father."

At the perceived insult, Sesshomaru blistered but did not act.

Was this phantom right? Had he really allowed his feelings for that woman cripple him?

_NO! _He told himself. He would not allow it.

With anger driving him, he dashed for her, his fangs tearing away a large part of an arm as he forced himself to ignore the anguished cries from the body inside.

The shadow staggered back.

"That's better," she smirked in concession as her arm reformed itself. "But not quite good enough."

She launched herself at him and buried her bow deep into the rocky ground, but this time he avoided it completely, leaping behind her and using the weight of his body to slam her down after it.

"Damn dog," she muttered rising, but before she could completely recover, he rebounded and gnashed away at her arm again, severing it completely as he sent her crashing back against the mountain side.

"Enough!" she declared enraged. "You've had your fun. Now it's time to die!"

Her arm regrew as the one in his mouth dissolved and dripped into puddles around him.

He was readying for another attack, but instead a yelp of surprise escaped his throat as the puddles of matter around him elongated and shot into the air, plummeting back down to bind him fixedly to the spot. Fierce jaws tore at them, but it was futile- they wouldn't give, only regenerating whatever piece he managed to tear out.

In front of him, the shadow Kikyo drew an arrow and nocked it to her bow.

"Good-bye, Sesshomaru," she smiled.

...ooo...

Inflamed by her contemptuous smile, Naraku's hold on her tightened, trying to crush the loathing image.

"Have I upset you?" she asked in mock innocence. "Pitiful fool. Who else but you would seek redemption from a woman who not only despises you, but does not even exist."

"How dare you," he asked slowly, menacingly. "How dare you interfere with my plans. How dare you taint her with your presence."

"HA!" she laughed. "I exist because of you, and even after she tried to lock me away, it was you who set me free. You've no one to blame but yourself!"

Scowling, he flung her away angrily, and, without much thought, raced for the other body lying nearby.

Grabbing the unconscious figure by her shoulders, he ordered, "Kikyo! Awaken!"

"No!" the other one shrieked, reaching out for them. "Stay away from that!"

Slowly, Kikyo's eyes fluttered open but did not see Naraku as she murmured faintly, "Sesshomaru..." Her voice rose as she suddenly realized what her shadow body was about to do. "NO!" she screamed. "Sesshomaru! Don't hurt him!"

A flood of blinding light engulfed all three but the other Kikyo merely declared triumphantly, "You're too late! His life is mine!" Even if her other self managed to regain control, it would never be able to push her out completely again- the anguish from Sesshomaru's death would ensure that.

...ooo...

"W-what is this?" the shadow asked herself, temporarily distracted as her body rippled with flashes of light. "No... it's impossible. She can't have possibly..." Realization of the outcome of her inner conflict dawned on her and she returned her attention to Sesshomaru with a vengeance. "It matters not," she grimaced breathlessly as she struggled to maintain her form. "Your death will ensure she does not succeed!" And with that, she loosed the arrow, but its flight was unsteady and inaccurate. Still, it managed to pierce him through one shoulder, breaking his constraints and sending him flying backwards as his body reverted back to its human form, stopped in his course by an obtrusive tree.

With a small grunt, he collapsed beneath it, gripping his wound as he watched the shadow unravel, shrinking smaller and smaller before imploding into itself about a foot off the ground. Inured pride and anger kept him from calling out her name as Kikyo crumpled on her hands and knees, curls of steaming energy still rising from her bare body.

Agonized eyes met his as she shakily pushed herself up, stumbling forward only to drop to her knees once again beside him.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, her voice heavy with unshed tears. "So sorry..."

A part of him wanted to shove her away, wanted to rid himself of her presence- his pride unable to cope with the truth her shadow had declared, that which he was unable to bring himself to admit: she _had_ weakened him.

But he couldn't... He was unwilling to deny her.

Pulling out the arrow protruding from his shoulder, he tossed it away.

"It was not you," he told her, not meeting her gaze.

Diverting her eyes to her hands, she answered softly, "Yes, it was. That... that thing told the truth- that was and is what I am. All that I am."

"Do not speak such words," he commanded, bristling at her statement. "I will not allow you to hide behind such a feeble excuse. You are only who you allow yourself to be- nothing else."

"Sesshomaru..." The meaning of his words sank to her and though they did not fully convince her, she realized they were his way of comforting and reassurance. Slowly she smiled, "Thank you."

He looked away. Loosening his armor, he removed his haori and threw it at her.

"Cover yourself," he muttered, and for the first time, she was aware of her nakedness. Deeply embarrassed, she hurried to obey, pulling the white silken garment around her.

"Where is Inuyasha?" she asked quietly.

"Back at the castle, I suppose," he answered, keeping his annoyance to himself. _Why must she always bring him up?_

"Oh..." Scanning her surroundings for the first time, she was surprised how far they had strayed while in battle. "Should we return to them?"

"Are you capable of the journey?"

"Are you?"

After the encounter with Naraku last night and nearly being purified, the strength he had regained that morning was now completely spent. And she was little better. Because of the lack of civilization nearby, her soul collectors had to travel far and wide in order to replenish her. Side by side they sat back in silence.

Seeking to occupy himself, he studied her carefully for a moment as a lone collector demon glided down to offer her a glowing soul to absorb, one hand caressing it as it passed by. A hand whose strength was hidden beneath the frailty of its appearance.

Slowly his eyes roamed over every inch of her, dissecting her curiously. What was it about her that intrigued him so much? Tiny feet perfectly formed attached to the long legs he had never seen before, a slim body lost in his robe, those hands, her lips with their discreet smiles...

She turned to look at him quizzically, "Is something wrong?"

Her eyes, he thought. It was always her eyes- those dirt brown orbs that reflected the state of her physical existence, ever present but always retaining the underlying hints of absence. Distant eyes that saw beyond time and space. Always with a trace of bittersweet sadness that stabbed him right through.

In answer he turned fully to face her, reaching a hand behind her neck, and lowering his head to hers. Taken back by his sudden action, she tried to move back but he held her firmly. Their lips met, and involuntarily she closed her eyes...

It was a kiss which lasted only for brief seconds, and then without letting her go, he pulled back to study her expression- a blank.

"I'm sorry," she smiled sadly, but he understood. No matter how much she might have wanted to feel it, it wasn't in her capacity to do so. His hand lingered for another second before he withdrew it.

Sighing a little, she leaned against him and he let her.

They both knew it was impossible- in so many more ways than one. It was absurd for one thing, impractical to both, and even if they somehow managed to get past their own reservations, there was another whole mountain of objections to such a relationship. Even now they were pushing the confines of their alliance- an alliance that was already getting harder and harder to defend not only from any third party critic, but from themselves... It was a hopeless impossibility, a fruitless temptation. And so in mutual agreement, they let it drop unspoken.

...OOO...


	26. Blame

_**Blame**_

...OOO...

It was her fault- she should have been strong enough to keep her hatred away, but she failed. She had failed the moment she allowed it to seep into her heart so long ago, and now she had failed to keep it locked away. Like so many consequences of the past, it came back to haunt her and would eventually return one day.

Why? she wondered. Why did she always end up hurting those she cared about? If all she had to defend them against was all the hurts of the world, she would gladly have fought to protect them, but how could she protect them from herself?

She ruminated on the question, turning it over and over in her mind even though the answer was quite clear. There was only one way, but she would take it, she determined. She would not let them suffer for her weak selfishness. No matter how much it might hurt her to do so.

Having decided, Kikyo let her eyes close, let her thoughts empty. She didn't want to have to think anymore about it right now. She didn't want to have to feel because she knew that if she allowed herself to she would explode from the sheer force of the emotions raging within her, trying to fight themselves free. It was a waste of energy because no matter how she might have felt did not change the situation in any way. She was still bound by fate to walk a predestined path, and she had promised herself that this time, she would not stray...

Sesshomaru felt her weight sink on his shoulder, felt her whole body relax as she entered into serene oblivion. He sighed a little and cast one wistful glance at the top of her raven head.

He didn't know why he had done it- had kissed her like that. No, that wasn't right- he did know why he had done it. He had done it because he had wanted to. That was the only reason he had now for doing all he did for her- Naraku, Inuyasha, none of that mattered anymore. Not really. Not if he could be completely honest with himself. What he didn't understand was why he felt compelled to do them, why he felt compelled to protect and care for her. He didn't owe her anything, and she... she didn't really need any of it from him.

Tilting his head back against the tree, he shifted his glance to the sky, now clear and blue again, the ominous dark clouds evaporating in the distance. It was his fault, he thought. If he had only seen through the situation- had never allowed himself to fall into Naraku's trap- he would have saved her from her own grief, saved her from that monster inside herself. But he had failed her, and instead she had to fight it on her own to save him.

She was supposed to be the insignificant one, wasn't she? The lowly human- no, not even that. She wasn't even human anymore, just a ghost bound to a false body constructed from magic and dead remains. The lowest sort of life form having no real life...

So then why was it he felt so unworthy to stand beside her? Why did she always make him feel as if he was the one falling short? He had never once questioned his own self worth before- not even when he was denied the Tetsusaiga. So why now did he suddenly feel that somehow he wasn't enough?

In a vain effort, he tried to be angry about it, but he couldn't. It wasn't fair, and it wasn't right... Not that he had ever bothered to uphold either before...

God, he thought in half-hearted frustration, how had she managed to so easily reduce him to such a state?

...ooo...

The thick leaves of the canopy diffused the harsh sunlight into an ashen gray that washed the forest below it in dark ethereality.

Naraku stared at his insubstantial hands, a look of perplexed concentration tight on his features.

What had he done? he wondered. Was he really responsible for instilling such a bitter hatred in her? Was he the one who had tainted her purity with such consuming darkness?

He had never meant to do it. All he had ever wanted was for her to love him, for her to give herself to him the way she gave herself to all others, and he had thought that if he could somehow turn her love to hate against all those that demanded it, then she would be free to love him without distraction. That had been his goal. But what he had unleashed instead was a hatred that knew no distinction between himself or any other, a hatred that wanted only wanted to engulf the world into its suffering. He had never meant for it to happen- he had never foreseen such a backlash effect that would turn the Kikyo he wanted and needed into such a base emotion. He had only wanted her to love him, but this creature left no room for such feelings.

What had he done?

...ooo...

Inuyasha jumped from tree to tree, combing the nearby forest for Kikyo. It was sunset now, and though he had not fully recovered, he was desperate to find her, hoping beyond hope that she was somehow alright even visions of her shadow and he anguished screams ripped through his brain. The last thing he remembered from that scene was Sesshomaru assuming his demon form.

_Damn him. If he hurt Kikyo..._

But he knew that was wrong. He couldn't blame Sesshomaru no matter how much he wanted to. The fault lay with him. It was because of him that Kikyo had such a monster inside of her. Perhaps he had not struck her directly those fifty years ago, but it was because of him that she died, nonetheless. He had been unable to save her, and he was the one that inspired her pain.

If he had only never loved her, he reasoned, she never would have loved him back, and she never would have grown to hate him that way. But he had craved her kindness, had given in to the tug of loneliness, had allowed her to love him because he needed to be loved.

Angrily he lashed out at a nearby tree, his claws shredding its trunk, before wearily sighing and bowing his head.

_It's my fault. If only I had stayed away, I never would have tainted her. She would still be pure..._

As dusk approached, he finally found her, and stopped short. They were underneath a tree with her wrapped in _his _haori and him half dressed.

"I see you're still alive," Sesshomaru spoke first, smirking inside at the utter look of confusion on his little brother's face, aware of the thoughts that caused it.

"Y-you," Inuyasha stuttered, unable to get over his shock to even be angry. _NO WAY! _His mind was screaming. No way, no way, no way had they done what his mind was suggesting. The two of them? Together? NO WAY! And after fighting? A strange smile twitched on his lips as his hand brushed against Tetsusaiga, "You... you didn't... did you?" He would slaughter him, his mind screamed some more. Sesshomaru was DEAD!

The smirk on Sesshomaru's face became apparent.

"What's the matter, Inuyasha?" he teased, sliding Kikyo to the ground so he could stand to face him directly, his hand resting on Tokijen's hilt. "She's too good for you."

"You- you BASTARD!" Simultaneously both swords were drawn.

Inuyasha knew nothing had happened just as Sesshomaru knew that he knew. But they didn't care. They needed this.

Metal clashed against metal as they pushed against one another.

"I'll kill you!" Inuyasha threatened.

"Not if you're dead," he retorted. They jumped away to rebound with more effort.

"I thought humans were below you."

"Who said they aren't? Maybe I just enjoy making you suffer."

"Feh! As if the great Sesshomaru would degrade himself just so my life can be miserable. Why her?" he demanded.

"Why not?" Sesshomaru shot back, swinging his sword but missing.

"You can't even admit you feel anything! You don't deserve her," Inuyasha replied, doing the same.

"And you do?" Sesshomaru challenged. "You can't even make up your mind whether you want to be with her or that girl."

"Leave Kagome out of this!"

"She has everything to do with it. You can't even choose."

"And you can't even admit you like anyone but yourself! Now tell me if that isn't pathetic."

Sesshomaru growled, shoving Inuyasha away, "And who are you to judge me?"

Grinding to a halt, he smirked back, "Heh, looks like we've hit a nerve." And again their swords collided.

"At least my promise of protection isn't worthless."

This time it was Inuyasha's turn to repel him.

"And what do you know about protecting anyone?" he snarled.

"Heh," Sesshomaru replied. "Looks like we've hit a nerve."

Again they clashed with renewed determination, but was halted when Kikyo asked, "What are you two doing?"

Slowly they turned to see her rise her feet, having apparently been awoken by the noise. She had watched them curiously for a few minutes, unalarmed. Even to her it was obvious their anger towards one another was as feigned as the fight itself.

"Kikyo!" Inuyasha yelped in surprise, but before he could say or do anything else, Sesshomaru lunged for her, catching her up as she fell on him.

"What are you doing?" she asked, bewildered by his sudden action.

"Just go along," he told her under his breath before taking off.

"What the hell?" Inuyasha yelled, going after him. "You bastard! Give her back!"

Kikyo almost rolled her eyes when she realized what Sesshomaru was doing.

"You really shouldn't tease him so," she remarked dryly but put up no resistance as he whisked her away.

"Hm," he replied. "I'll consider that..."

"And what were you fighting over in the first place? That sword of his?"

"No," he answered plaintively. "You."

...OOO...


	27. For the Best

**_For the Best_**

...OOO...

Inuyasha trailed them all the way back to the ruined castle where, upon landing he drew out Tetsusaiga again to make a mock display of slashing at Sesshomaru who didn't have to try very hard to dodge out of the way.

"Come on," Inuyasha challenged, jabbing the tip of Tetsusaiga directly at him. "Let's go right here, right now!"

"Inuyasha!" Kagome's shrill voice interrupted. "What do you think you're doing?"

But he just brushed her off, "Not now, Kagome. Me and this jerk here have some business to finish."

A huge vein popped on Kagome's forehead.

"Inuyasha," she warned darkly. "SIT BOY!"and unwillingly Inuyasha came crashing down.

"What the hell?" he snapped, glaring at Kagome but still glued to the ground. "What was that for?"

"This is no time for you to be hashing it out with your brother," Kagome reprimanded sharply. "We have bigger things to worry about right now, okay? So will you two cool it for just a minute?"

"He started it!" Inuyasha argued.

"Inuyasha!"

"Ok, ok," he muttered, sensing another 'sit!' coming. "I won't pick anymore fights," and under his breath he added, "'sides, that guy can't handle it anyway."

"I wouldn't make such claims, little brother," Sesshomaru clipped not letting go of Kikyo, "as you are the one who is currently incapacitated. To think that a son of my father is made defenseless at the command of a human woman." With that he whirled around to walk away paying no heed as Inuyasha cried out, "Hey, wait! Where do you think you're going with Kikyo?"

Kagome was the one to answer with another, "Sit!"

For lack of knowing what to say in such a situation, Kikyo had stayed silent, but when they left Inuyasha and Kagome she finally asked, "Why do you like to tease him so?"

"Who said I was teasing?" he replied.

Scoffing at the transparent attempt to hide his motives, she stated, "Any fool can see that if either of you had been serious enough, one of you would be dead already."

Sesshomaru conceded her point, "He needs to learn. I will not allow someone who shares my blood- no matter how tainted- to fall by the hands of any other save myself."

"Do you really intend to kill him?" she asked.

Truthfully he really did not know anymore, but rather than admit that he answered, "Yes. One day I will."

"Why?"

"Because he is not fit to call himself my brother," he answered curtly.

"Do you really believe that he is 'tainted' because his blood is half demon and half human?" she inquired curiously. "Do you really believe we are who we are by the blood that runs through our veins?"

"What else is there to determine our standing in this world?" A small grain of bewilderment was working its way into his thoughts. What was her point?

"So you believe that if you were not the son of your father, that you would not be who you are now?"

The observation stopped him short. No one had ever questioned the validity of his opinions so thoroughly before- opinions which he had always been able to defend as facts.

"What are you trying to say?" he demanded slowly.

Coolly she answered, "You scorn me because I bind myself to my fate, and yet here you define yourself by the blood which you were given without control or consent. Tell me- is there really such a difference?"

She caught his eyes with a steady gaze commanding an answer.

A low growl escaped his throat, but he was speechless. What answer could he give her without contradicting himself in one point or another?

Seeing his disconcertment, however, she let her eyes drop and smiled smally.

"You know," she spoke, "my veins may be dry, but I am still capable of walking."

Startled, he looked down in surprise, as if unaware he had been holding on to her the entire time. He frowned slightly, but did not let her go.

Instead he asked, "Why do you insist on loving him when he has done nothing but hurt you so much?"

This time it was her turn to look surprised, caught off guard by the question, but once again she smiled as she gently pushed herself away from him and answered, "Love isn't what another can do for us, it's what we can do for the sake of another. You should know," she added thoughtfully. "Rin does nothing to benefit you, and yet you still keep her do you not? That is love."

That word irked him.

"Do not accuse me of displaying such foolishness," he warned her.

"I don't understand you," she admitted. "Why is it so wrong to love someone? Because it is not in your interest? Because it is a weakness? I suppose it is, but even by your logic you believe we are given only that which we can obtain for ourselves and defend by our own might. I never thought you to have so much doubt in your own strength that you do not love because you fear you cannot defend it."

Once again he was at a loss to a response.

"Do you enjoy twisting my reasoning?" his hardened voice asked threateningly.

"Does my reasoning disturb you?" she countered.

After several seconds of defiant silence on both ends, he finally gave up the stalemate and ordered, "Stay here. I will return with more appropriate attire." But before he could disappear, she called him back.

"Sesshomaru..." she waited until he paused to listen before continuing, "I have decided- tomorrow I will leave... it's for the best."

For a moment he did not answer, as if evaluating her proposition, but then he declared firmly, "No."

Angered, she replied, "It is not for you to decide."

"Nor is it for you," he returned cool but determined. "So long as Naraku remains a threat, you shall stay where I can reach you."

"It does not concern you anymore," she shot back. "Any of you. He wants only me, and I will not continue to endanger others by my presence. I will handle the situation on my own."

"'Endanger?'" he repeated, an edge of sarcasm in his voice. "You don't believe I am capable of defending you from him?"

"No!" she declared heatedly, losing her temper. "You are not! Can't you understand? There's nothing you can do- this is beyond you-" she froze, suddenly aware of her words. "What I mean to say," she corrected, lowering her voice, "is why would you wish to?"

But it was too late.

Ignoring her last statement, he turned his back and answered coldly, "If you are so determined to be rid of me, then so be it. Do what you like." And he left.

"Wait, Sesshomaru," she pleaded, but he brushed it off. A part of her wanted to rush to him, wanted to hold him back and beg him to forgive her, but she forced herself to stand still. This was for the best, she reminded herself. For the best.

...ooo...

Her words had stung his pride deeply because she had voiced that which he had known- that he was incapable of aiding her. If Naraku were still flesh and blood, Sesshomaru was more than confident in his physical superiority, but Naraku wasn't. He struck her where Sesshomaru could not reach- her mind. Whatever battles she and Naraku fought were restricted to them alone, and there was nothing he could do to help, no matter how much he might have wanted to.

_But why should I want to? _He argued vehemently. She was right, after all- it was none of his concern. To him and to the rest of the world, Naraku was dead. He existed only to her. So why did it bother Sesshomaru so much?

_Why does she always make me feel so damn helpless? _He wondered angrily, more at himself than anyone else. Perhaps she was right in deciding to part as well, he thought. It was not really in his self-interest to keep her around, anyway. Yes, it was for the best, he concluded. As it was he had wasted enough time in this fruitless endeavor. With her gone he could forget about her and her philosophies and return to normalcy. For the best, he reassured himself.

...ooo...

Kanna was lying on the bed, her eyes closed, letting her thoughts wander. She was free now after having fulfilled his last request, and now that the mirror was gone, their link was severed. She had no heart, no soul, and hence had no emotions for him to root out and manipulate. She was lost to him.

How ironic, she thought languidly, that the nothingness which had bound her to him was now the very thing which kept him from her, granting her a freedom she never sought nor wanted nor felt.

Feelings...

That was what would lead them all to destruction, she reflected. Because they felt everything- even those which they denied to themselves.

During her existence she had watched them detachedly, and she understood them more than they would ever care to know, because even though she could not feel them, through her observance Kanna had come to know quite well exactly what emotions were, what desires were, what needs were. And perhaps it was because she was not subject to them that she learned just how much power they did hold over all those that they enslaved. Even Naraku who was so adept at manipulating the hearts of others did not fully comprehend his own.

But she did. She understood everything because she herself was nothing.

She knew what it was he had always yearned for, and although she had obeyed him without question or reservation, she had always known he would not succeed. Just as now she knew he would fail again. He would never obtain his desire because he did not know how. But she knew. She always did.

The ghost of a smile crept to her lips as she mused on her decision to act. She could do it- she knew she could. It would not even be that hard of a thing to accomplish. All it needed was for her to set it rolling.

The unmoved mover, she thought. A goddess by her own right. The nothing which would grant them all that which they desired most...

"Kagura," she called softly to her nearby sister.

Kagura looked up surprised that Kanna was still able to communicate.

"Yes?" she asked, kneeling beside her.

"Kagura, how would you like to be free? Forever?"

"What? What do you mean?" Kagura replied, taken back by such an offer.

"Give Naraku a body," Kanna answered plainly. "You have your heart, rid him from your soul- give him his own."

Bristling at the thought of resurrecting Naraku, Kagura asked, "And how do I know that this is not another of his tricks?"

Kanna took no notice of her sister's suspicion.

"Our link was severed the moment my mirror shattered. What I do now, I do simply because I can."

"Kanna..." for a moment, Kagura was at a loss for words, but finally she replied, "What do you need me to do?"

"I must see that priestess."

"What? What does she have to do with this?"

Vacant black eyes met her passionate red ones.

"Did you believe," Kanna asked, "that it was mere coincidence that both she and Naraku survived where both should have died?"

Again Kagura was disconcerted by her cryptic words, "I don't understand..."

"You do not need to."

...OOO...


	28. Revelation

_**Revelations**_

...OOO...

It was still an hour or so before dawn when Kikyo departed, casting one long glance at the darkened castle vanishing beneath her. Inuyasha and Kagome were fast asleep, but she had not dared to see Sesshomaru before leaving- for her sake as much as for his- unsure if she would still be able to part or that he would still let her. It was better not to tempt themselves with those possibilities.

...ooo...

From the shadow cast remnants of the grand balcony, Sesshomaru watched her disappear into the sky, fighting the urge to go after her and force her to stay. If she did not want to stay, he told himself, then he had no reason to want her to. So why did he want her to?

For a long time he stood there unmoving, watching the first fingers of sunlight pierce the night. A strange feeling arose within him- a feeling he had felt only once centuries ago- a feeling he had thought he had long buried forever. The feeling of loneliness.

...ooo...

Strong northern winds whipped past Kagura as she sailed for Sesshomaru's castle in the mountain hoping that Kikyo would still be there. She had not stuck around to find out whether Naraku's plot succeeded and he had not returned to inform her otherwise, but she decided to risk the journey. Behind her, Kanna sat silently. It was her last request and Kagura did not want to deny it. Besides, a part of her was very curious where this was all leading to. She would have been content with unanswered questions if she had had her freedom, but since her first enslavement to Naraku she had come to find that answers where the key in obtaining that desire now stripped of her for the second time. What had she to lose?

Still, she didn't want to have to see Sesshomaru again if she could help it... As she thought that, the memory of their last encounter brought itself to mind, and she frowned bitterly.

"Kagura," Kanna interrupted her thoughts, "up ahead. The priestess."

And sure enough Kagura could not believe her good luck in finding Kikyo only about a field or two away. By herself.

...ooo...

The first rays of the morning found Kikyo in a vast empty plain wading in a sea of tall gently swaying grass. She was still not sure as to a destination, but since staying in one place was out of the question, she wandered aimlessly, putting her trust once again in fate.

It didn't fail her.

Glancing up at the sky, Kikyo saw the familiar white feather gliding towards her, descending as it drew nearer, and she readied her bow just in case. But Kagura did not alight.

Skipping all formalities, she merely stated with a nod of her head to the little white figure behind her, "She wants to speak with you. About Naraku."

Kikyo did not answer, her hands not relaxing on her bow as she awaited for Kanna to talk.

Glancing around uneasily at the openess of their surroundings, however, Kagura announced, "Not here. Will you come with us?"

"Where?" Kikyo asked.

With another wide sweep Kagura spotted a clump of trees crowned with a dense thicket of trees and motioned to them, "There." Without waiting for a reply, she flew for them, landing just outside to disembark with Kanna.

"Are you sure about this?" she asked her as they awaited for Kikyo to arrive.

"I don't doubt," Kanna reminded her.

When Kikyo reached the hilltop, they stared at one another for a brief moment and then wordlessly they entered the woods, not stopping until they were at its heart. Once there Kagura hung back as Kanna approached Kikyo.

"What did you wish to tell me?" she inquired.

"Priestess," Kanna began. "Do you wish to know how to defeat Naraku?"

Kikyo's eyes first widened in surprise then turned to dangerous icy slits.

"Do not toy with me," she warned. "I am in no mood." and she turned to walk away.

"Tell me," Kanna asked slowly, "how did you survive the collapse of that mountain?"

It stopped Kikyo short.

Glancing over her shoulder she replied, "The jewel in my body- it must have preserved me."

"So," Kanna continued, "how do you suppose Naraku survived?"

Kikyo turned fully around, piercing eyes scrutinizing Kanna's blank expression which conveyed no intention.

"Why do you want me to know?" she finally asked, ascertaining nothing.

"Why must I have a reason?" Kanna countered.

Again Kikyo could not help but be suspicious. After a moment of deliberation however, she decided there was little harm in hearing her out and then deciding whether what she said was the truth or not. Setting aside her hesitation, she waited for Kanna to explain.

...ooo...

"Inuyasha," Kagome gently prodded the red snoring form lying askew on the mattress. "Inuyasha..."

With a grunted 'snorx' he opened his eyes, yawning and stretching.

"What is it?" he asked, his voice still scratchy from sleep.

"Um," she explained, "I was wondering if you would come down to the springs with me to catch some fish for breakfast before everyone else woke up. I'm a little hungry."

With another drawn out yawn, he agreed, "Ok." And together they made their way past the thin gathering of trees to the glades at the foot of the mountain, taking a leisurely pace as neither was in a particular hurry. It was a beautiful morning bright with promise of a peaceful day ahead, and with no eminent danger, they decided to make the most of it.

...ooo...

Kagura bit her lower lip in deep concentration. She had stood in the background, silently listening as Kanna explained the situation fully to Kikyo, but upon hearing them, she found the answers more disturbing than the questions themselves. Kikyo, however, did not take long in deciding the matter- she would follow through with Kanna's suggestions. Kagura had more reservations, but with little other available options, she too decided to adhere to the plan. They were to go to the forest of the bird demons, but when Kagura made to draw out her feather, Kanna stopped her and summoned her away.

'_He will forgive you, Kagura,' _she had stated simply. _'Go to him and tell him of her plight. He will forgive you.' _

She did not have to speak his name- Kagura understood she meant Sesshomaru.

'_Are you sure?' _she had asked in return.

'_Yes. Go.'_

'_What about you?'_

'_I must accompany the priestess. Kagura...' _Kanna hesitated slightly before continuing in her dead tone. _'You will no longer see me after this. My time is over.'_

Kneeling, Kagura nodded and in a rare show of affection, gave her an awkward hug, _'Good-bye, Kanna.'_

'_Take care, Kagura.' _

With a thin sigh, Kagura let her go and departed, glancing back for one last glimpse. But Kanna had disappeared.

It was strange, she reflected, how much she would miss her even though they had never been very close. But Kagura supposed it was because she never really had anyone else in her life. Kanna had been the only company she could stomach aside from that human boy Kohaku, but his time with them had been short. Naraku had finally removed that shard from his back in order to complete the jewel. She wondered if Kanna would meet him in the afterlife. It was a stupid musing since she knew Kanna did not care about loneliness, but Kagura still didn't want her to be alone.

Sighing deeply, Kagura tried to brush away the thoughts. It was time to let go...

...ooo...

"OW!" Kagome cried as she lost her footing and fell backwards on the small rise. Rubbing the small bump already forming on her head, she picked herself up, muttering. She tried to wipe away the big glob of dirt clinging to her skirt, but succeeded only on making a bigger mess. From head to toe she was soaking wet after falling into the water, and she had left Inuyasha there to finish catching their breakfast and lunch while she decided to trudge back to the castle and her backpack where she had a change of clothes.

_What else can go wrong? _she mumbled miserably, tearing away a piece of wood stuck to her hair, and as if in answer she shivered violently as a strong gust of wind encircled around her. Looking up she was shocked and frightened to see Kagura swooping down to her pensively realizing she had not brought neither bow nor arrow with her.

...ooo...

Kagura had wavered at the entrance to the forest, apprehensively eyeing the castle in the distance. She still did not want to face Sesshomaru, perceiving nothing but anger and distrust on his part upon her arrival. And of course she couldn't blame him... Again she wondered if she should bother at all, but then she spotted Kagome down below her and thanked her lucky stars- if she did indeed have them- for the second time that day.

Yes, she decided. She would tell the girl and then leave it for her to convey the message to Inuyasha or Sesshomaru- she did not care which. Her part would have been played.

"Girl," she spoke as she landed, spreading her fan to gesture Kagome to halt. "I must speak with you."

"About what?" Kagome asked hoping Inuyasha would pick up the wind witch's scent and come to her aid.

Sensing her discomfort, Kagura assured her, "This is no trick. I came to tell you about the priestess."

Kagome paused, suddenly confused, "Kikyo? What about her?"

"She's gone to meet Naraku," Kagura stated plaintively.

"What? What do you mean? Kikyo is back in the castle."

This time it was Kagura's turn to look surprise. Had she not let them know she was leaving? she wondered. But before she could make a reply, she was stopped by a cold voice behind her.

"Kagura."

She and Kagome both turned, astounded by Sesshomaru's sudden appearance.

"Hey, Sesshomaru," Kagome spoke. "Where is Kikyo?"

He didn't answer her, however, keeping his eyes locked on Kagura.

"I told you," she answered, trying to ignore him by addressing Kagome. "I met her just earlier this morning."

"What?" Sesshomaru couldn't help but be amazed by the revelation.

"You have to listen to me," Kagura replied. "I didn't have to come here, but I did. The least you can do is hear me out."

A sudden foreboding rose in Kagome's throat, "What happened?"

Kagura related Kanna's words to them.

"When that priestess used the Shikon Jewel to purify Naraku that day in the mountain, she didn't know it, but something went wrong. I suppose it is because the jewel is created from both demonic and spiritual energy, but it was split in two- half residing in her, the other within Naraku. I don't know the details... but the priestess said that when she awoke after that day, she was miles away from the mountain. We can only guess it was the jewel's power which transported her to safety. Likewise the other half was probably teleported away, but since Naraku's body was destroyed, all it could keep alive was his consciousness. Since then however, the jewel has been seeking a way to make itself whole again."

"Wait," Kagome interrupted. "If that's true, then why is Kikyo going to meet Naraku?"

"Kanna has found out where the other half of the jewel is," she explained. "It's in a forest northwest of here."

_The forest of the bird demons, _Sesshomaru concluded, but asked, "If the jewel has been out in the open so long, then tell me- why has not some demon or other come across it and taken it? Surely something which emits such a powerful energy would be easy to locate."

"That's another thing," Kagura answered. "The jewel itself is dead. Perhaps it had transferred it's power to Naraku the way the other half is used by the priestess. It would explain how he manages to still infest others."

A low growl thundered dangerously in Sesshomaru's throat, but Kagome cut him off.

"But what about Kikyo?" she prodded. "What is she planning to do?"

"Kanna has also found a way to resurrect Naraku- though only temporarily," Kagura went on. "She says if Naraku's consciousness is brought together with the jewel inside a physical body, then the jewel's power will be restored- the way the other half stayed in tact within the priestess. That is why she wants to see him- to restore the jewel fully so she can purify it and destroy it."

"W-wait..." Kagome stammered as realization hit her. "But if the jewel is what's keeping her alive... then if she destroys it, won't she... die?" The word barely squeaked out of her lips.

...OOO...


	29. Divinity

_**Divinity**_

...OOO...

"INUYASHA!" Kagome cried frantically stumbling through the dense shrubbery, her wet clothes getting caught on the dry branches. "Inuyasha!"

Inuyasha looked up from his task, bewildered by Kagome's sudden reappearance.

"Huh? What's the matter?" he asked as she splashed through the water and crashed into his arms.

"It's Kikyo," she stammered. "She's going to meet Naraku to make the jewel whole again!"

Inuyasha's eyes widened, "What?"

...ooo...

_What the hell is that woman thinking? _Sesshomaru asked himself, hastening through the air and struggling very hard to keep the sense of panic from overwhelming his judgement. She had left only that morning, he reassured himself. She couldn't have gone too far yet- certainly not as far as the forest of the bird demons... unless she flew.

_Damn her. _

_Damn that Naraku. _

...ooo...

Just as Sesshomaru had thought, Kikyo and Kanna had also taken to the sky in order to travel faster as it was necessary to reach the forest before Kanna faded. They alighted just within sight of it to continue the journey on foot in hopes of avoiding unnecessary attention from its dwellers. As they neared it, however, Kanna suddenly stopped.

"I must go alone now to prepare," she stated. "At the setting of the sun then all will be ready."

"Why do you do this?" Kikyo asked again. "Why do you betray Naraku?"

At that Kanna turned to regard her blankly.

"There is no betrayal," she answered. "I am merely giving him what he desires."

"Will you die?" Kikyo asked suddenly, not sure why.

As detached as ever, Kanna replied, "Yes."

"Are you not frightened?"

"No."

"Do you not despair over death?"

"No."

"Are you glad?"

"No."

Kikyo watched her go, not knowing whether she should pity her or be envious. Even now she was not sure whether the ability to feel was a blessing or a curse. Perhaps it was both.

Casting her eyes to the sky, she estimated that sunset would come in about an hour or so. An hour left of light, an hour left of life. Today she would die with the sun.

This was it, she thought grimly. Since she had become its guardian, she had assumed her duty had been to guard the jewel and keep it pure, but at her first death she had realized the error of that belief. Midoriko had created the jewel by binding the soul of the demon who lusted after her to her own, now she, Kikyo, would destroy it by doing the same. It was a cycle that must be completed, and the cycle ended with her.

...ooo...

Kanna walked through the forest, tracing the invisible path her mirror had revealed to her before it had been shattered, and soon she came to a perfectly circular pool of water undisturbed by the slightest breeze. She couldn't see it, but she knew it was there, right in the center, the half of the jewel which had contained the soul of the demon. Her fingers began to glow as she brought her hands up to chest level, facing the palms towards one another as she drew out the energy she had collected from the souls of her last victims from that village beneath the mountain. While she chanted the incantation, the glow between her hands grew brighter and brighter, and the fragmented jewel responded, elevating from it's resting place until it levitated just above the surface of the water.

"Go," she whispered to the orb of energy in her hands and released it. As soon as she let go it raced for the jewel, engulfing it and becoming larger and larger until the entire pool was filled with its blinding light. Then slowly it faded away, disappearing altogether and there, in the middle of the water stood Naraku completely whole. He looked at Kanna in disbelief.

"Kanna?" he asked. "What is the meaning of this?"

"Is it not what you wanted?" she returned. "At sunset the priestess will come for you."

"Kikyo?" he echoed. "Why?"

"The jewel. She intends to destroy it. Master Naraku..." she hesitated a moment before inquiring, "Do you love her?"

The question and its source jarred him and he could not answer, but they both knew it already.

"So long as the jewel exists, she will never be allowed to either live or die. If you love her," she announced, "then you will allow her to fulfill her fate and grant her peace."

"And what do you care about all this?" he inquired.

As simply as she knew how, she answered, "Nothing. What you choose to do is in your own hands. I am merely proclaiming the truth of the matter."

A moment of silence befell them as he studied her carefully, his creation already starting to dim and fade. Even now he could not decide whether he had been kind or cruel in granting her no emotions.

"Kanna," he asked, "do you hate me?"

"I cannot hate and I cannot love. Lord Naraku, what you desire is something only she can give, just as what she seeks only you can grant. Know that and cherish it." Her body was transparent now, ebbing away until she was completely gone, her last whispered words carried by the wind, "Good-bye, Master."

For a long time he kept his eyes fixated on the spot where she had stood, contemplating her words as the sun continued its decline. Carefully, he weighed his options. He had half of the Shikon Jewel and a body- what more could he need? a part of him asked. And in a short while Kikyo would come with the other half. After so many years, he could finally achieve what he had always wanted- to gain control of the jewel and transform himself into the most powerful demon in the world.

Naraku paused on that thought for a moment, but it did not take long for him to decide his course of action.

...ooo...

Sesshomaru found her just outside the forest, and she looked up to see him land but did not speak. He took several steps towards her until they were only feet apart, standing face to face.

"You are well aware of the situation?" he spoke first, breaking the silence.

"Yes," she replied plainly.

"He's after that jewel inside of you."

"Perhaps."

"And you're willing to walk right into his trap and hand it to him." It was a statement, not a question.

Rather than inciting any heated remark from her, however, she replied quietly, "Sesshomaru, do you know the history of the Shikon Jewel?" The sudden question caught him in surprise, but without waiting for an answer she told him, "Hundreds of years ago humans and demons waged a great war with one another. The humans were lead by a priestess named Midoriko whose power to purify ten demons at once was renowned and taken as the greatest threat of defeat by the demons. They sought for a weakness within her and they found one. An evil hearted man fell in love with her and sold his body to a conglomeration of powerful demons who, instead of giving him that which he lusted for, used him instead to attack her... Sound familiar?" she asked, giving him a sideways glance before continuing, "She and this assembly of demons fought for seven days and seven nights, but in the end she realized she would not be able to defeat it. As she was drawn into it's jaws however, she seized the soul of the demons and bound it to her own with the last of her strength, destroying both of them and creating the jewel in the process. It is the jewel which houses their ever warring souls to this day, the current victor influenced by the possessor of the jewel."

Sesshomaru was not sure whether he had yet been alive when this battle took place but he had often heard bits and pieces of the tale but he had never cared too much about it. He still didn't.

"So what does it have to do with you?" he asked.

Kikyo explained, "Midoriko fought in order to give her people peace, but instead she created a weapon sought both by man and demon in order to wreak more misery upon others. When I was entrusted with the jewel, I had thought my duty had been to preserve it, but when I died, I finally understood my duty was to destroy it- to finish what Midoriko had left undone. I had tried to once, by cremating it along with my body, but when Kagome entered this era, she brought it back with her along with my soul. Now I am granted a second chance to fulfill my destiny," slowly she announced her intentions, "I will meet with Naraku and restore the jewel. Then I shall bind his soul to mine and complete the cycle Midoriko set in motion."

"And then you will die," he finished hatefully. "Because of her weakness and mistake, you must suffer. Why do you allow it?" he demanded. "You did not create the jewel, it is not your burden to bear- why do you insist on carrying it?"

"Because I can!" she shot back bitterly. "If not me, then who? If the jewel is not destroyed, it will continue to corrupt and be corrupted, spreading pain and misery on all those who encounter it- don't you think that I, of all people, understand this curse? If I look away, if I abandon my duty, think of how many will suffer- of the countless wars and senseless destruction caused by those who seek this power. What of them?"

"What of them?" he responded callously. "Why should they be allowed to shift their pain on to you? Why should you be the one to pay for the sins of others?"

A slow sad smile crept to her lips at his concern.

"It is my fate," she whispered.

How he hated that word.

"You and your damn fate. For someone of your intelligence, how can you still not understand that 'fate' does not exist. Life is shaped by our might and our desires alone. We choose the paths we walk."

Without a moment's hesitation she answered, "Then I choose this one."

Her unrelenting insistence was beginning to wear his patience thin- very thin.

Slowly he replied, "I never thought you so feeble as to give up so easily."

"Why does that make me feeble?" she asked. "I do not understand- even the lowest of slaves seek freedom from his bondage. What wrong is there in shouldering the burden the gods have seen fit to bestow upon me?"

"You can still choose not to," he told her quietly.

Her smile did not disappear, but she averted her gaze from him, "Sesshomaru... is there no one you wish to protect? To spare from pain if you could?"

Why? he wondered. Why did that question always come back to haunt him?

"Who?" he asked aloud. "Who then do you deem worthy of your sacrifice? These pitiful insects you call humans? Filthy creatures who pillage and plunder one another, shedding blood merely to satisfy their own lusts. They are undeserving of a savior."

"Whether they deserve salvation or not is not mine to decide," she answered softly. "Mine is the choice of whether to grant them the chance or not- and I have decided. There is nothing you can do to dissuade me otherwise."

His patience snapped. In one smooth move he drew Tokijen from its sheath beside the Tenseiga and held it to her unflinching throat.

"If you are so insistent on dying today," he announced quietly, trying to draw back the anger threatening to break forth, "then you shall meet it by my hand. I refuse to let you die by any other."

Her eyes narrowed and bore into his.

"You'd kill me just to prove me wrong?" A small ironic smile appeared, and she told him, "then do it. I will do nothing to stop you," and as if in assurance, her bow and arrows clattered to the ground. "You tell me nothing matters in this world but power- the power to overcome and subjugate others- the power to take a life that was not yours. But power and honor are nothing without mercy. Even the basest of animals live by the same code- doing nothing except that which furthers its own wants and needs. Are you no better?"

Her words stung his pride bitterly.

"You think me weak," she continued, "because I refuse to bend to my own selfish desires, but you are weak because you cannot bend your pride for the sake of mercy."

"You had better reconsider your words wisely, woman," he remarked icily, Tokijen pressing against her flesh just ever so slightly.

"Hn," she answered defiantly, that angry smile never leaving her face, scorning him. "If killing me will prove your point, then do it. Let us see which is the weaker- I for giving my life, or you for taking it." Her voice was deadly still, and he searched her eyes for any flicker of a doubt or fear. They never wavered.

He stopped short, awed by the seriousness of her resolve. Never before had he hesitated to kill another to defend his ideals, but she... she did not think twice to die for hers. Killing her held no value to him- what would it prove in her logic but that he was weak and she was strong? Slowly he withdrew his sword, her eyes tracing its descent as it landed at her feet.

That was what broke her.

Overwhelmed by his gesture, she stumbled forward, collapsing on to him, burying her face into his chest, her whole body trembling with shivering sobs that found no escape in her dry tears. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pressing her closer as her body melted against him.

"You and your damn reasoning," he muttered with the barest hint of fondness. He couldn't decide who had won- he or him- but oddly enough, it didn't seem to really matter.

For several minutes they stayed that way, unmoving, not wanting to break away, but as the sun sank deeper into the horizon, she stirred, and he understood.

"Must you?" he asked softly, one last final plea.

"Yes," she answered. "Please forgive me."

With a small sigh, he replied, "There is nothing to forgive."

...ooo...

Naraku was waiting for her in the middle of the shallow pool, waist deep in water reflecting the blood red sunset.

Sesshomaru set her down, and she lingered for only a second before pulling away. Wordlessly, she stepped into the water; wordlessly, he watched her; and wordlessly, Naraku met her with a small smile bereft of malice.

This was it...

She stopped an arms length away to gaze into his eyes, sad but strangely affectionate. It was odd- she had never known he was capable of such an expression.

He extended his arms to her, drawing her in slowly. This time she did not resist him but succumb willingly into his embrace, wrapping her own arms around him.

Yes, he thought, this was all he wanted. All he had ever needed...

She spoke first, "I'm sorry."

"Do not blame yourself," he murmured tenderly. "Sometimes hate is justified. I am the one sorry for causing you to feel it."

"...I forgive you."

For a brief moment their embrace tightened as they squeezed each other in reassurance, and just as quickly, it loosened.

"Good-bye, Naraku," she whispered softly.

"Good-bye," he answered lovingly, "dear Kikyo."

Silently Sesshomaru watched enthralled as a gentle glow developed in between them, slowly enveloping the pair in the warm light.

"KIKYO! NO!" Inuyasha yelled as he burst into the scene with Kagome behind him. He charged for them, the Tetsusaiga drawn, but was deflected by the powerful barrier which had formed around the pool, shimmering lightly in the fading sunlight.

"It's useless, Inuyasha," Sesshomaru informed him calmly standing back.

His brother whirled to face him, "Sesshomaru! Why? Why did you let her go?"

"It was her will."

With horrified awe, Inuyasha returned his gaze back to the pool where the blinding white light had completely covered the two figures in the center.

The water began to ripple and then rise, cresting in waves increasing in height as it swirled around Naraku and Kikyo, swallowing them up in a cylindrical cyclone of glimmering crimson. Then the sphere of light exploded, causing the entire pool to swell and burst, destroying the barrier.

Sesshomaru stood his ground as a wave crashed against him, refusing to look away.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome screamed, clinging to a nearby tree for support as the entire surrounding area was swamped by the surging water.

Then just as quickly as it came, the encroaching tides retreated and settled back into the calmed pool.

They looked in time to see the last bits of lights fade, like white fireflies extinguishing in the air. Naraku was gone, but Kikyo's soul collectors had appeared, snaking above her lifeless body.

"Kikyo!" Inuyasha screamed, splashing into the water to lift her into his arms. He buried his face into her neck, crying, "Kikyo, no... You can't leave me like this again."

Sesshomaru knew it was useless. She was gone. Once again he had stood quietly by and did nothing to stop her from dying, but just as before, she had not wished it otherwise.

He turned to go, but Kagome's whispered voice stopped him.

"Sesshomaru..." she could not meet his stare as she made her request. "Why... why don't you use it? The Tenseiga- to revive Kikyo."

The sword pulsed at his side, begging to be drawn as he paused to hear her words. _She would grant life to her who would take the one she loves? _Then again, if he could he would have granted her life even if only to see her end up in the arms of another. But it was not possible. Without answering, he continued on his way.

"Dammit, Sesshomaru!" Inuyasha growled in fury. "She spare _your_ life, and you're just going to walk away?"

Sesshomaru did not hesitate, "Yes."

"You bastard!" he yelled, his anger breaking loose. "She cared about you! Don't you care at all about that? Don't you care at all about her?"

Those words froze him, and his eyes widened and reddened from the accusation, but he quickly suppressed it.

Instead he replied icily, "And you Inuyasha, if you cared at all about her, you would understand why I don't." Inuyasha was stunned by the statement, but Sesshomaru went on, "Do you really believe it is her desire to be brought back to a world that does not want her? To be given a life which she cannot live? With no purpose but to wander for eternity in an empty body which must consume the souls of the dead, and all the while hating herself for the repulsive creature which she has been forced to become? Tell me- is that how you show mercy to your love?"

Mercy...

He had thought it was impossible- he was an assassin, the killing perfection, the destroyer of the circle of life, and he had thought mercy meant life. And she was a bellflower- every time he killed, she was the one that ended up on the grave. To her, the right to live a life of her own was something which would always be denied- bellflowers lived so that they may die for others. Even their deaths were not their own...

But mercy wasn't life. Nor was it death. Mercy was simply mercy.

He had thought she was beyond him- beyond his mercy- because he could grant her neither one, but now he knew. Mercy for her was rest, and that was something he could give her now...

And he would.

Slowly his words sank through to Inuyasha. Gazing sadly at the woman in his arms, he realized Sesshomaru was right. All they could do for her now was allow her to rest- to deny her that would be to hate her and he... he could never hate her. No matter what had happened between them, she had always been the one he loved first, the one he loved most... even if she could not be the one he loved last.

Gathering her into his arms, he thought, _At least this time I can give her a proper burial..._

He was about to carry her away but her soul collectors encircled him, blocking his path.

"What the hell?" he stammered, confused by their persistence as one wrapped itself around her arm, trying to tug her loose from his grasp.

Sesshomaru turned to witness the scene, and with a small inward smile, he told his brother, "Leave her to them, Inuyasha. They deserve her more than anyone."

At the firmness of his voice, Inuyasha lowered her back into the water, her body buoyed to the surface by the expanse of her wide clothing, her hair fanning out in a dark halo behind the ethereal white face, still lovely. Even in death she was beautiful. Or perhaps it was death which had always made her so.

With a final sigh, Inuyasha left her to rejoin Kagome and Sesshomaru, and with one last glance at the lonely, fated figure, all three turned to walk away.

_Rest well, bellflower. _

_Rest well, my beloved. _

...ooo...

Kikyo was immersed in the clear black liquid, sinking into it's abyss. She was sinking into death. She knew it but she didn't struggle as a sense of peace overcame her, a peace she had never before felt- the sort of peace that comes to a bone-weary laborer who is finally allowed his rest, that amnestic sleep which erases all memories of pain and happiness and longing. This was all she could have ever hoped for, all she knew she could ever have.

So why was it that a part of her refused to let go?

"_Open your eyes, child." _The feminine voice flowed all around her and through her, languid and warm.

Slowly, she obeyed wondering who it was calling her. There was nothing around her except for the enveloping darkness and the small phosphorescent sphere of brilliant white light somewhere in the distance.

"_Who are you?" _she asked in her mind, but her thoughts were projected, her voice echoing in her strange surrounding.

The voice laughed kindly.

"_Wisdom, courage, friendship, and love all combined within you to set me free..."_

"_Midoriko?"_

"_Yes."_

"_I don't understand..."_

"_Forgiveness, child. You were able to look beyond yourself and forgive he who had wronged you so gravely and reconcile your soul to his," _the voice explained. _"Anyone can sacrifice their life and happiness for the sake of those they love, but to forgive him whom you hate... that is love beyond measure."_

"_Love?" _she repeated incredulously. _"How can that be when all my soul is hatred."_

The voice sighed sadly, _"So many misunderstand. They believe in order to remain pure and untainted, then they must shut their hearts to emotion. It is true that when we love, we risk also feeling hate, just as joy is often accompanied by grief, but a heart devoid of emotion is empty. There is no purity in such a vacant soul- no matter how unstained. The perfectness of heart required to purify the jewel could never have been attained had you not overcome the trials set before you. And now," _she concluded, _"there is but one last thing you must do to fulfill your destiny."_

"_What is it?" _Kikyo was at a loss. What else could she do now that she was dead?

But the voice told her, _"Make a wish. The jewel must grant a wish before it can be rendered harmless."_

A wish? she wondered. What was there for her to wish for?

Sensing her reluctance, the voice assured her, _"It's alright to want, you know. If we never wanted, never needed, we would be nothing more than stones. Life would have no value, and life was meant to be valued. Anything you want is mine to give."_

Kikyo thought about that. Anything she wanted...

"_But I am dead," _she said suddenly. _"I have no needs or desires for the afterlife."_

"_Then wish for life."_

Life... Kikyo closed her eyes, trying to imagine such an idea but it was too difficult. What would she do with such a gift? Even if she decided to return to the world as a full person, what would that change? Her circumstance would still be the same- it would not be affected simply because she was whole. She had always thought it was something she had always wanted, but now faced with the possibility of obtaining it, the idea left her feeling cold and empty. No. She would not wish for life.

But a wish had to be made. So what did she want?

Images flashed in her mind- a little girl with an injured eye smiling up at her for approval, now an old woman who seldom laughed except for the sake of a girl who was her image but wasn't who gave her heart to a boy whose own was too steeped in guilt to ever return it; and _him_ standing alone, proud and tall with cold golden eyes masking his sorrow. And suddenly she knew...

Opening her eyes, she gazed at the glow in front of her.

"I know what I want," she voiced softly.

"_Then make your wish."_

So she did, "I wish for their happiness and well-being. I wish for my sister to always have a friend, for Inuyasha to forget his guilt, and..." she paused, unable to bring herself to say his name, so she finished, "and I wish for _him _to find the heart he has denied himself. I... I want to see him smile again."

A ringing laugh issued forth from the light, _"As you wish."_ It glowed brighter and brighter, and she could feel its warmth on her skin as it overflowed all throughout her and into the surrounding darkness.

And then she was gone.

...OOO...


	30. OpenEnded Finalities

_**Open-Ended Finalities**_

...OOO...

Sesshomaru heard it first- so faint it was almost undistinguishable. Pausing in his step, he turned to cast another glance at her, wondering if he was mistaken, only to see the last remnants of light which radiated from her body fade back into it. Before any thoughts could cross his mind, however, he heard it again- he was sure this time. A heartbeat.

He did not think. With blinding speed he rushed to her side, raising her up from the shallow surface as she coughed water, her chest heaving with each hungry breath she took.

"Kikyo," he called her urgently. _How was this possible? _

Her eyes opened to focus on his.

"Sesshomaru?" she murmured softly, just as confused as he was. Wasn't she supposed to be dead?

"Kikyo..." this time her name was only a whisper as he bent his head to hers, catching her breath with his lips in a deep kiss. She raised a hand to brush against his face, and he could feel the warmth they held beneath the cold of the water still clinging to her skin.

"What the hell are you doing?" Inuyasha cried, stamping in after them, utterly confused.

But Kagome stopped him, "SIT BOY!"

He crashed into a foot of water and whirled around to yell at her, "What was that for?"

"SIT! SIT! SIT!" she replied.

Sesshomaru ignored them, pulling away only to let her exhale.

With a small half smile, he remarked cooly, "You never stay dead, do you?"

"Not even when I want to," she returned softly, sharing in the joke before her eyes closed again.

...ooo...

When they opened again, she found herself back in her room at his castle, the bright midday sun pouring in through her window. This time she was by herself and no one came to greet her, but her clothes had been dried and laid out. Slowly she dressed, wondering where they were, dreading the thought that they had left her. Making her way downstairs, she went outside.

Sesshomaru was waiting for her at the door.

"Inuyasha wishes to speak with you," he told her shortly, before walking off in the direction of the gardens.

She watched him go, wanting to say something but deciding against it. There would be time later if he allowed her. Right now she had another matter to attend to, so without speaking, she went to find Inuyasha.

...ooo...

Sesshomaru wasn't stupid or delusional. He knew that this was bound to happen- that she would eventually return to his worthless half-breed of a brother. She did love him after all, and now she was out of excuses for their continued separation.

No one knew how for sure- the girl believed it to have been the work of that damn jewel, and he supposed that was probably right- but the state of the matter was that her body had been fully restored to her. There was still something off, something he could not quite understand about her existence, but what did details matter anyway? She had her blood and her heart and her senses back- what did it matter how. And now finally she could be with him.

The thought of Inuyasha touching her sent waves of animosity through Sesshomaru, but so long as she was content, what could he do? If he had been smart, he told himself, he would have left already, but he didn't. He knew it was really no longer any of his business, but he didn't care. He would make sure Inuyasha was at least a little deserving of her love- Sesshomaru would not let him waver endlessly between her and that girl. Today he would have to choose once and for all.

...ooo...

Kagome hugged her knees to her chest willing back her tears. She wouldn't cry, she told herself. Tears were useless now. Of course she too had known that this day would come, but she had clung to a hope that some way, some how everything would work out for the best. But that was impossible. She didn't doubt Inuyasha loved her- not passionately, perhaps, but he did care about her- but she also had no doubt he'd never be able to forget Kikyo. The worst part was that she couldn't blame him, couldn't blame her, because what they had suffered and what they continued to suffer was out of their hands. It had always been. So there was nothing for Kagome to do but try her best to accept the inevitable outcome.

She didn't know how, but she knew they were together right now.

...ooo...

He was waiting for her under a vine covered pavilion, staring thoughtfully into space, when she came.

"Inuyasha," Kikyo called quietly.

Turning to face her, he gave her a small smile.

"Hey," he greeted just as quietly. "I'm glad you came."

"We need to talk," she answered.

In agreement, he nodded and said, "Kikyo, I've decided. I've decided to make things right between us. No matter what, I'll stay with you from here on out. I promise I'll take care of you."

Her eyes locked on to his and softly she asked, "Is that what you really want, Inuyasha?"

"What?" he replied. "Of course it is! Kikyo... I don't want you to be lonely anymore."

"But what about you?" she pressed. "Are you lonely?"

Her question perplexed him. What did she mean was he lonely? But he realized he couldn't answer that seemingly simple question.

In response to his silence, she told him, "One of the things which used to pain me was seeing you with them- your friends- and especially with that girl. I couldn't help it. My bitterness at first led me to believe it was because you didn't deserve such happiness when I had to suffer so much, but as that reasoning melted away, I came to realize it hurt me because it was only proof of how much you no longer needed my love."

"What? But, Kikyo-" he protested.

With a shake of her head, however, she stopped him, "It's alright, Inuyasha." She smiled at him wanly, "Sometimes it's alright to let go."

"I still love you," he told her firmly.

"As do I," she replied, "but it's no longer that simple. No matter how much we might wish to, we can't erase all that has passed between us. Do you not think it does not hurt me to see the guilt in your eyes every time you look at me? I don't want to be the cause of such sorrow for you."

"But you're not!" he insisted vehemently. "I'm the one who..." his voice trailed off as he realized what he was about to say.

Knowing that he finally understood, Kikyo wrapped her arms around him and he reciprocated the gesture.

"It's alright, Inuyasha. It wasn't your fault- none of it was. I forgive you, now you must forgive yourself."

"Kikyo," he murmured. "I just want you to be happy."

"I will be if you are."

Silently he reflected on what she had said. She was right. Even if they did love one another, how could they ever be truly happy when each blamed themselves for the pain in the other? How could they ever move on and forget when those feelings always lingered? But could he really let her go?

"Are you sure this is what you want?" he asked her.

And she answered, "Yes."

"I'm not lying you know. I'll always love you."

"And I you."

"Will you be ok?"

"Don't worry," she assured him. "I'm well capable of caring for myself."

"Yeah, I know," he conceded, "but if you ever need anything- I mean anything," and he added with a grin, "like if you ever need someone to pound some sense into that guy for you, you know where I am."

Chuckling softly, she answered, "Thank you, but I don't think it's necessary. But if you ever have need of me, as well, all you need to do is find me."

They pulled away to gaze at each other and smile, then wordlessly, they met for a soft brief kiss.

"Don't let her abuse you with this," she cautioned him, tapping the beads around his neck. "I can remove it for you, if you like."

"Nah," he replied. "One of these days I'll tear it off myself... hopefully."

Stepping away from one another, he gave her a long fond stare before turning to leave.

"See you later, Kikyo," he shouted, sprinting away to avoid any awkward moments.

She just stared after him, smiling to herself. They weren't lying- they did love each other. More than anyone would ever know. Maybe they could never be lovers, maybe they never were, but they would always be friends.

...ooo...

"Inuyasha?" Kagome looked up in surprise to see him smiling and sauntering towards him.

"Let's go, Kagome," he told her lightly, motioning to his back. "I bet that old hag is probably planning our funerals right now."

Cocking her head to one side, she scrutinized him, confused by his almost bubbly happiness. Had he just chosen her, she wondered. But even if that did explain his presence, it did nothing to justify his gaiety. _Ok... what the heck just happened?_

"Well, come on," Inuyasha prodded gruffly. "Or are you just gonna sit there and stare all day? I'm getting hungry, y'know."

Kagome blinked at the normalcy of the situation, then she grinned. _Aw, who cares what happened. _All she knew was that everything was ok, and that was good enough for her.

Climbing on to his back, she beamed, "Inuyasha..."

"What?"

"You're a good boy," she teased.

"Oh for crying out loud," he argued. "Quit treating me like a dog!" And they went on to bicker and banter with one another in mock anger.

Just like always.

...ooo...

"Sesshomaru." Kikyo smiled at him when he turned at the sound of her voice, quite surprised to see her.

"You're still here?" he asked, trying to be aloof. He had thought he had felt Inuyasha's aura leaving the premises.

"Unless you'd prefer it otherwise," she replied.

Diverting his gaze back to some obscure point in the sky, he answered, "Do what you want," but then added curiously, after being unable to pick up a trace of his brother, "Where is Inuyasha?"

"Gone back to the village with Kagome, I suppose," she said nonchalantly.

"What?" he whirled around to see her. "He'd dare to abandon you here?"

Smiling at his apparent concern, she assured, "He didn't abandon me. We decided it was best for both of us to part... I told you- we weren't meant to be."

"Do you still insist upon that?" he queried, and she shrugged.

"Perhaps I was looking at it the wrong way. I had thought fate was keeping me from Inuyasha, but perhaps it's merely telling me that I was meant to be with someone else."

"Like who?"

"Hm. I don't really know."

They let a moment of silence fall between them before he asked, still keeping his eyes away, "Kikyo, stay with me."

She went rigid with surprise, unsure whether it had been a plea, a request, or a command.

"Are you sure?" she asked tilting her head questioningly.

Without hesitation he answered, "Yes."

Smiling, she went to him, bringing her face to his, "Then you have your answer." She wrapped an arm around his shoulder as his instinctively encircled her waist, pulling her closer as their lips locked.

How? they both wondered to themselves, almost ironically. How had they managed to fall into such a situation? A demon lord and a human priestess...

But there was no where else they would rather have been than with each other at that very moment.

...OOO...

_**Fin**_


End file.
